http://certaintrouble.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] certaintrouble.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2007-09-13 09:31 pm
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Debating, Friday September 14

After a couple awkward teacherless minutes, Chuck walked through the door. He acted as if nothing had happened, going to the board and writing:



Generalizations

Chuck tapped the board under the word. “When you know a little about your opponent, you can use that to your advantage. Like they say, “a little bit of knowledge is dangerous…” to your foes. Take these two,” he looked at Jim and Willow, “I had them in class last year. Even though I don’t know them very well, I could say that Willow’s eagerness to study denotes a lack of personal life and a need to compensate to fill that hole in her heart. Or that Jim’s newfound inability to take notes means he will do poorly in school and end up a cubicle drone, endlessly shuffling papers.”

He rounded on Turtle. “I’ve heard her talking about stock options on the radio. Thus, she’s missed out on her entire childhood, and is doomed to have a massive breakdown in adulthood. Unstable.”

Chuck nodded toward Jeff. “He seems a little nervous. I’m guessing that he has some terrible secret, probably involving arson. Yeah, he’s an arsonist.”

“Then there’s the Asian kids.” Namine and Haruhi were next. “I could say that I’m fully expecting A’s from them, and if they’re doing poorly, that they ought to lay off on the Chinese cartoons.” He saw Namine’s sketchbook, and ignored any conventions of her style to say: “Point made.”

“Blonde jokes will never fail to make your opponent feel devalued.” He pointed to Cher. “She looks like a bottle blonde,” to Annette, “she’s probably the rich spoiled kind,” to Charlie, “vacant blond, obsessed with appearance. Probably a moody water sign, too,” he turned to Meg, “and since she’s the fourth person to be listed, this one probably follows the crowd all the time.”

“It’s not just hair color. Judging by appearance is just generally a good idea.” He turned his accusing finger to Zim. “The green kid looks like he’s from Mars.” He nodded to Ronan. “He looks like a Goth, and probably has a very active fantasy life, filled with swords and spears and dungeons and dragons.” He pointed to Mel’s shoes. “Her mom probably also wears combat boots.” He turned to Valentine next.

And stopped.

He opened his mouth, then closed it, shook his head, and said “Too easy. I won’t even bother.”

Finished with the insults, Chuck returned to the board. “Now, I’ll bet some of you are a little mad at me. After all, I’ve solidly won each tiny argument I just started. You all lost. Losers.

“The point of this exercise is twofold. Number one-” He wrote these on the board, “- I want you all to know how it feels to have these expertly crafted paper bullets grazing your vital organs. This shows how powerful these can be in an argument. Number two- It’s an example, so you can use them yourselves. And Number three- I don’t want any of you to forget how it feels to lose an argument, how humiliating and how the need for vengeance will spread in your mind.

“So in this next class exercise, I want you to partner off and take out the resulting need to win on your opposition. Hit them with a sweeping generalization, then give them a chance to recover and try to sling one back at you. ”

He turned back to Valentine. Chuck didn’t feel that the poor kid had suffered quite enough yet. “I also have an extra credit opportunity. For next week’s class, you all can come up with generalizations why board-face here is unreliable and his arguments are bad, based off of his appearance and small things about him. Remember class, work small! An argument with a lot of support is nice and easy. But a thin argument where you have to grasp to connect things? That takes talent.” He clapped his hands. “Get going!”


OOC:You can start arguing when I blow the whistle... TWEEEEEET! Have at them!

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