fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, August 14, 2nd period]

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Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, August 14, 2nd period]

Josh leaned up against a desk in the Danger Shop, hands in his pocket and a grin on his face.

"President Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House, had a big block of cheese and I can't believe I'm giving this speech," he began. "He did not, sadly, have a cracker the size of Lake Tahoe. I checked. My old boss, the White House Chief of Staff, used this folksy excuse to make us all talk to total crackpots once a year and today that privilege falls to you."

He waved his hands. "Pick a desk, make yourself comfortable, the computer'll drop someone insane off to talk to you. Try not to laugh in their faces--they're all based on real people. Um, sadly."

My Stupid Mouth - John Mayer

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John Marbury popped his head around the side of the cube. "I say, do you know the way to San Jose?"

Then he burst out laughing.

~~eeeeeeeee!~~

"No, but I left my heart in San Francisco," Peter said. "That count?"

"I suppose it shall have to do," he decided as he came in and slouched into a chair. "I don't suppose you've seen Gerald around, have you? Every time I come in here, you've moved all the offices around."

That wasn't true.

"I'm here on behalf of Her Majesty, the Queen, after all, and I need to talk to someone much more important that yourself about the invitation list for the Saint Patrick's Day luncheon."

"Don't know a Gerald," Peter admitted. "But I've planned some parties in my time. Can I help?"

Lord John gave him an appraising look. "I suppose you'll have to," he said. "I'm far too important to go scurrying around looking for someone else. Now tell me, why are you inviting a terrorist over for tea and cookies?"

"Because he's one of the president's drinking buddies," Peter replied, since there were good odds that that was true.

"Very droll," Lord John replied. "He's also a member of Sinn Féin, and a terrorist. I come on behalf of the British government to tell you that the man cannot come into the White House."

"How about Camp David?" Peter offered.

Lord John frowned. "The president cannot be seen publicly acknowledging this man's power," he clarified. "His organization is responsible for the deaths of many, many British soldiers, not to mention Northern Irish policemen and innocent men, women, and children."

"So pretending he doesn't exist will make that go away?" Peter asked.

"Admitting him into the President's presence gives him a legitimacy he shouldn't possess," Lord John countered. "A terrorist is a terrorist is a terrorist, even if he wears a green necktie and sings 'Danny Boy.'"

"No, I got that," Peter said. "Just... failing to acknowledge? At all? Not even for a diplomatic version of giving the finger?"

"Uninviting him is the diplomatic version of the finger, my boy," Lord John said with a small smile. "Not that we'd ever use such a crass phrase, of course."

"You'd give two fingers."

"Possibly," Lord John admitted, "and a sharp kick to the arse. But that's not how things are done."

"Clearly you're not from New York," Peter said.

Lord John snorted. "Perish the thought. I am John, Lord Marbury, Earl of Croy, Earl of Sherborne, Marquess of Needham and Dolby, Baronet of Brycey. I don't, erm, do Brooklyn."

"You sure?" Peter asked. "There's good pizza there."

"Tempting," Lord John said, "but no." He looked around hopefully. "I wouldn't turn down a Scotch, though..."

"I left mine in my other pants," Peter admitted.

"Rumors about what goes on at British boys' schools to the contrary, I won't touch that particular comment," Lord John said with a small smile. "I shall take my leave, then. Do pass on my words to Gerald. He's the butler, I believe. Office right next to the President's?"

"You got it," Peter promised.

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Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, August 14, 2nd period]

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