fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, August 14, 2nd period]

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Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, August 14, 2nd period]

Josh leaned up against a desk in the Danger Shop, hands in his pocket and a grin on his face.

"President Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House, had a big block of cheese and I can't believe I'm giving this speech," he began. "He did not, sadly, have a cracker the size of Lake Tahoe. I checked. My old boss, the White House Chief of Staff, used this folksy excuse to make us all talk to total crackpots once a year and today that privilege falls to you."

He waved his hands. "Pick a desk, make yourself comfortable, the computer'll drop someone insane off to talk to you. Try not to laugh in their faces--they're all based on real people. Um, sadly."

My Stupid Mouth - John Mayer

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Savannah grabbed a great deal of caffeine.

A disheveled man wandered into her office. "I say, have you seen Gerald?" he asked in a slightly slurred British accent. "I'm here to chat about India and Pakistan."

Savannah shook her head. "No sir, I'm afraid I haven't seen Gerald all day."

The man pursed his lips. "He's hard to find than the Loch Ness Monster," he complained. "Regardless," he continued, brushing lint from his trousers, "I am here to make sure you don't accidentally begin World War III. I have dinner plans for Friday and nuclear obliteration just won't do."

Savannah shook her head. "I have a big event on Friday, so World War III will not be happening at that time."

"Smashing!" he said. "Now we just have to convince India and Pakistan of this."

Savannah nodded. "Well, if one of us were to talk to India and one to Pakistan, that would be a good start."

"I think your State Department might have a thing or two to say to us if we just start collect calling prime ministers," he replied dryly.

Savannah sighed. "But at least we would know that something was being done, yes?"

He held up a finger. "But what if it's the wrong thing?" he asked. "I'm quite sure starting a war is a little above your pay grade."

She thought about this. "I suppose you're right... but if they were to give me a raise..."

He arched an eyebrow. "And a doctorate in international relations, perhaps. India and Pakistan is a conflict so complicated I have studied it my entire life and still don't have a handle on it." He smiled a little smugly. "And I am much more important than you, my dear."

Savannah snickered. "You don't even know me, good sir."

"That's how I know I am more important, darling," he said. "I am the British Ambassador for her Royal Highness, the Queen of England. I am John, Lord Marbury, Earl of Croy, Earl of Sherborne, Marquess of Needham and Dolby, Baronet of Brycey, and I know everyone who's worth knowing in this town."

Savannah looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm sure that you think the world of your titles sir, but even those who do not have as many titles seem to have knowledge worth having."

"Indeed," he replied, clearly humoring her, "then tell me, my dear: who are the prime ministers of India and Pakistan?"

"Hell if I know," she said with a shrug. "I just know who they aren't and what we're not wanting to happen."

"Oh hey... I know a very important person that you should meet that might be able to help you make sure there's no WWIII."

Hey, she didn't mind getting anyone else involved in this.

Lord John stood up. "If it's not President Bartlet, then I'm afraid I'm wasting my time."

"No, President Dolores Umbridge... but she's incognito." Savannah shrugged. "Apparently she's the President of some little country with lots of money."

"No she's not," Lord John said flatly. "I'm an ambassador, and you have been wasting my time." He nodded curtly. "Good day."

He walked out the door.

Savannah watched him go, and then dissolved into giggles. Hey, Lyman only said not to laugh in their faces.

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Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, August 14, 2nd period]

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