Dealing with Stupid People [Monday, June 25, 2nd period]

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"Okay, people this is gonna be a...thing...so I recommend coffee. Lots of coffee."

Josh, personally, was on his sixth cup.

"For your final class, I wanted to present you with a challenge." There was a dangerous spark in his eyes. "So I found a couple of special guests. Ladies and gentlemen, the Jerries!"

He hissed to the class, "Ixnay on talk about the overnmentgay."

This...should be something.

Comments

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"I am not allowed to have my pocket knives, and I'm sane," Aravis said, frowning.

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"We are sane, too, Jerry!" cried one Jerry, latching on to one word they knew very, very well.

"Don't let the government tell you otherwise!"

"They tried to lock us up, Jerry!"

"They made us take some pills!"

"The pills make us craaaaaaaazy," said one Jerry, making a comical motion next to his head.

"Can you imagine that?! We were utterly insane!"

"We had no fishwives at all!"

"How are we to get to Nova Scotia without any fishknives?"

"It isn't as though fish-hives are easy to find, Jerry!"

"Believe us. We've looked," said one Jerry sadly.

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"My name is Aravis. Not Jerry," Aravis said, blinking.

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Welcome, Airplanarship!"

"We have heard of many of your deeds."

"We are greatly in your debt, Airflyinghead!"

"We were glad to hear that the situation with the bean-sprouters was taken care of."

"Imagine where we would be if the bean-grouters had taken hold!"

"They might have taken over West Findlayville!"

"We all know what would happen once Communism settles there."

"Only a matter of time, you realize."

"We thank you again, Airglovesnack."

Both bowed very solemnly.

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"...well, I understand the bean-sprouter plight," Aravis agreed, thinking it might be best to play along.

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"We knew that you would, Your Majesty," nodded one Jerry.

"We said that if anyone suffered the way the bean-trouters had!"

"We knew you would do what was right."

"Are you prepared to order the special attacks?"

"The ones against the digital waterslides?!"

"We can sound the torpedoes and get you a hat."

"A lovely hat, Jerry!"

"One with ruffles around the edges."

"It wouldn't do not to have a hat, Jerry."

"It's traditional."

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"May I have one without ruffles?" Aravis asked, getting into it. "They don't suit me."

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Yes, of course!"

"You can have one with several ruffles!"

"One with no ruffles at all!"

"We shall make sure your ruffles are extra-nice!"

"They shall be orange and blue, Jerry!"

"We have many ruffles in many very nice styles, Jerry!"

"Yes, orange and blue, and with a ribbon on the edge!"

"Ribbons look so nice this time of year."

"Yes, with the hedgehogs!"

"Hedgehogs are even nicer."

"So long as you have the turnips, yes."