Dealing with Stupid People [Monday, June 25, 2nd period]

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"Okay, people this is gonna be a...thing...so I recommend coffee. Lots of coffee."

Josh, personally, was on his sixth cup.

"For your final class, I wanted to present you with a challenge." There was a dangerous spark in his eyes. "So I found a couple of special guests. Ladies and gentlemen, the Jerries!"

He hissed to the class, "Ixnay on talk about the overnmentgay."

This...should be something.

Comments

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

"You shouldn't get Japanese raisins," Turtle said idly with a sigh. "They get horrible market reviews."

She was tired and cranky with having to deal with too many stupid people in the real world, and just wanted to be out of stupid people class.

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Do you have other raisins, Jerry?" asked one Jerry curiously.

"We have heard good things about Portuguese raisins."

"We have heard there are fields of Portugal with raisins in them!"

"They were raised to be fur coats, and the meat is tenderized with shrimp!"

"We do so love a good shrimp, Jerry."

"We have no Portuguese Olympics, Jerry."

"No indeed. That's why we need the raisins."

"For the donkeys."

"So they don't drown."

Both Jerries nodded solemnly.

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

Turtle just looked at them blankly for a moment.

"The two of you have a pretty amazing sense of association, you know that?"

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Thank you, Jerry!" One Jerry swept her a bow.

"We were specially trained for it."

"We received six years of lessons!"

"We can play the associative tuba-trumpet with both hands!"

"Even blindfolded."

"We are competing in the Olympics, you know."

"Have you seen our montage?"

The Jerries posed excitedly as if about to ... perform one for her. A montage. Yes.

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

"I didn't realize that montaging was an Olympic event," Turtle admitted, still staring a bit blankly, "but I'd love to see it."

hey, if it killed time...

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Jerries proceeded to do their very best impersonation of a montage.

It featured one Jerry interviewing the other, handwaving as special effect dissolve screens, offscreen narration, slow motion, and it made absolutely no sense. Whatsoever.

At the end of it, both Jerries bowed deeply.

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

And, still staring, Turtle applauded.

Wow. That was....special.

"You guys are totally gonna win the gold. Totally."

Best to humour the crazies, really.

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Thank you, Jerry!"

"We couldn't have done it without you, Jerry."

"We will, of course, be splitting the proceeds with you, Jerry."

"Our corporate sponsors wouldn't like it very much if they knew that!"

"No, no indeed! There shall be hush money all around!"

"We hope you like unmarked bills."

"Yes! We shall leave them in a grocery bag under the park bench!"

Re: Talk to the Guests!

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

Which of course only left Turtle wondering if they had meant it.

Either way, she'd probably be checking under the park benches for at least a week after this anyway.