http://bluth-illusions.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] bluth-illusions.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2007-06-18 08:14 am
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Sex Ed the GOB Bluth Way #6, Monday, Period 3

When everyone had sat down, GOB started to speak. The fact that he had a bunch of videotapes may have been worrisome. "Today we're going to be talking about something that can only be described as a huge mistake. Everyone who ever talks to you about this will point out how bad of a mistake it is, how it never ends well, and how screwed you are when the relationship tanks. But it's a mistake that you're still going to make. Everyone always does at some point. Today we're talking about filming yourself during sex. I like to call this Filming: A Terrible Mistake, and What to Do When You've Made It."

"Filming sounds like a good idea. It's like porn, only it stars you! And it's exciting. You get some excitement from doing something that people could watch without anyone actually getting to watch. What could go wrong? Plenty."

"First, you're going to look weird on camera. You're not a porn star, you don't know how to look good on camera like that. You also don't have the right lighting or makeup. The camera adds ten pounds. And when you get right down to it, you don't know what your face looks like during this stuff. Every woman I've ever filmed looked nothing like she did before we left the bar." Part of that was due to drunkenness, of course.

"But the biggest problem with it is that you have a tape of yourself and someone else having sex. If you break up, that other person's going to want it because they don't want you having that tape. You could post it to the internet, or send it to their parents, or their priest or something. They don't trust you enough to keep having sex with you, why would they trust you with a tape of just that?"

"There's an easy solution to that, right? Just give them the tape, no problem. Wrong. Because then they have the tape and could post it to the internet, or send it to YOUR parents or YOUR priest or YOUR something. Or you could destroy it, but then you don't have videotape evidence of the good times with that person to watch when you're feeling lonely. The obvious way out of that is to make a copy of the tape, destroy the original, and swear that you didn't make any copies, but that can lead to lawsuits if you ever try selling it on the internet."

"This week's activity is all homework. You're going to pair up and each pair will take one of these tapes. Don't worry, they're just tapes of old cartoons, not porn. The administration apparently thinks that giving students porn is a bad idea. Anyway, each pair is a broken up couple. We're going to say that the tape is video of the two of you having sex. One of you will have the tape and the other will try to get it away from them. If they get it, the other person then has to try to get it back. Whoever ends up with it by this time next week gets extra credit." There would be no extra credit. "If you decide to destroy it instead of being paranoid, just bring in a piece of paper saying that you destroyed it. Don't actually destroy it. The rental place will yell at me again if that happens."

[OOC: Hey, I forgot to write this last night, whee.]

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] senor-chado.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
"What kind of guarantee do I have that you won't do the same?" Chad asked.

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] ambassadorinara.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
She put her hands on her hips and glared way up at Chad until she was meeting his eyes. "I trusted you enough to make this tape with you, so you can trust me enough not to broadcast it. Do you think that I want to watch it by myself? And I'm certainly not going to watch it with anyone else!"

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] senor-chado.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
"Two-way street," Chad countered, unphased by the sternness except perhaps a sad little duck of his head. "I'd like to think you could trust me in that same regard, too..."

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] ambassadorinara.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
"If I could trust you, maybe we'd still be staying together." Maybe Inara was getting a little too into the role-playing. She sniffled.

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] senor-chado.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
"But...we...uh...never really..." Chad was scratching his head.

He? Was not quite so good at the role-playing aspect.

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] ambassadorinara.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
She just looked up at him again. Inara hated this part--it wasn't honest, and it was deliberately manipulative. But she was the best in her House for a reason. She blinked, and her eyes were shiny with tears. "You don't remember?"

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] senor-chado.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
"Um, well..." What about this was making Chad particularly uncomfortable and feeling really really awful and just wanting to give Inara a hug? He was also having trouble remembering what exactly they were doing. "Remember what?"

And, after a moment, having processed more, "I could probably remember better if I had a copy of my own..."

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] ambassadorinara.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
It was amazing how quickly the tears dried up. "Nice try, but no."

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] senor-chado.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
Chad was...confused. He just shrugged.

"...Sure we can just make another copy? I really seem like the kinda guy who'd do something like show it to people?"

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] ambassadorinara.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
"I didn't think so," she eyed him suspiciously. "I want an agreement. Something you'll do to recompense me if you do show it to people."

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] senor-chado.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
That definitely sounded fair. "Did you have anything in particular in mind?"

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] ambassadorinara.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
"Yes." Inara nodded firmly, "I want you to spend the day naked. Walking around and going to your regular classes, without even a pair of pants to shield you from the world's prying eyes."

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] senor-chado.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
Well, it wasn't like that was entirely new. There was the whole issue that he could get in trouble for something like that, but he had no intention of showing anyone the film at all, so there was no problem there.

"Deal. Under one condition."

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] ambassadorinara.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
"What condition is that?"

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] senor-chado.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
"Same goes for you if you show anyone."

And Chad was doing his very best to ignore the voice in his head that was telling him that he really, really hoped Inara showed someone their fake porn.

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] ambassadorinara.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
Smiling, Inara offered her hand to seal the deal, "That's fair."

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] senor-chado.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
Chad took Inara's hand with a shake that he hoped wasn't too firm. "Deal, then. And I'll just have to trust you to get me a copy of that. Or you'll have to trust me to copy one for you."

Re: ACTIVITY! Pair up, grab a tape, and start the paranoia!

[identity profile] ambassadorinara.livejournal.com 2007-06-19 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
"You should copy it. I'm still a bit iffy when it comes to the technology here."