fandomhigh | Sex Ed the GOB Bluth Way #6, Monday, Period 3

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sex ed

Sex Ed the GOB Bluth Way #6, Monday, Period 3

When everyone had sat down, GOB started to speak. The fact that he had a bunch of videotapes may have been worrisome. "Today we're going to be talking about something that can only be described as a huge mistake. Everyone who ever talks to you about this will point out how bad of a mistake it is, how it never ends well, and how screwed you are when the relationship tanks. But it's a mistake that you're still going to make. Everyone always does at some point. Today we're talking about filming yourself during sex. I like to call this Filming: A Terrible Mistake, and What to Do When You've Made It."

"Filming sounds like a good idea. It's like porn, only it stars you! And it's exciting. You get some excitement from doing something that people could watch without anyone actually getting to watch. What could go wrong? Plenty."

"First, you're going to look weird on camera. You're not a porn star, you don't know how to look good on camera like that. You also don't have the right lighting or makeup. The camera adds ten pounds. And when you get right down to it, you don't know what your face looks like during this stuff. Every woman I've ever filmed looked nothing like she did before we left the bar." Part of that was due to drunkenness, of course.

"But the biggest problem with it is that you have a tape of yourself and someone else having sex. If you break up, that other person's going to want it because they don't want you having that tape. You could post it to the internet, or send it to their parents, or their priest or something. They don't trust you enough to keep having sex with you, why would they trust you with a tape of just that?"

"There's an easy solution to that, right? Just give them the tape, no problem. Wrong. Because then they have the tape and could post it to the internet, or send it to YOUR parents or YOUR priest or YOUR something. Or you could destroy it, but then you don't have videotape evidence of the good times with that person to watch when you're feeling lonely. The obvious way out of that is to make a copy of the tape, destroy the original, and swear that you didn't make any copies, but that can lead to lawsuits if you ever try selling it on the internet."

"This week's activity is all homework. You're going to pair up and each pair will take one of these tapes. Don't worry, they're just tapes of old cartoons, not porn. The administration apparently thinks that giving students porn is a bad idea. Anyway, each pair is a broken up couple. We're going to say that the tape is video of the two of you having sex. One of you will have the tape and the other will try to get it away from them. If they get it, the other person then has to try to get it back. Whoever ends up with it by this time next week gets extra credit." There would be no extra credit. "If you decide to destroy it instead of being paranoid, just bring in a piece of paper saying that you destroyed it. Don't actually destroy it. The rental place will yell at me again if that happens."

[OOC: Hey, I forgot to write this last night, whee.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Collapsey. And in night-shot.

Zack Addy

Dick Casablancas

Naomi Wildman

Door

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Have fun staring in horror as per normal.

Zack was pretty sure GOB needed serious help by now.

Door's notes for this section mainly consist of "That's actually good advice" and "Note to self, do not tell administration about porn from Professor Deadpool."

It was probably a bad sign when the lecture was more prone to inspire Chad than dissuade him...

Actually, Inara spent the lecture thinking about how GOB wasn't a complete and utter idiot. That was actually decent advice.

Henry was getting used to turning his brain off and taking notes.

Basically what I said in the post.

Zack stared at the tape as he waited for a partner.

"Clearly the first thing we should agree on is that neither of us will watch the tape," Door says to him, her fingers already crossed behind her back because clearly if she got it and it were real, she would have to watch it to make sure it's really the tape she's supposed to have and not, for instance, old cartoons.