Sex Ed the GOB Bluth Way #5, Monday, Period 3

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

As the students signed in today, GOB gave some of them that is, the ones who OOCly volunteered a card with the following written on it:

Congratulations! You will be playing a prostitute for today's activity! Please think of how best to get convince people to pay you for sex.

One card had something else written on it, but we'll get to that later.

Once everyone was ready, GOB started talking. "Today's class is going to be about something near and dear to my heart and something that is completely acceptable if you have the money and don't have the time to create some sort of bond either through conversation or alcohol. Prostitution. It's legal here but in places that it's not there is one big problem with it. You might accidentally pick up a cop. If you pick up a cop, you go to jail because apparently that's what they do when you're 'a sex offender.' And that's why today's class is called..." GOB pulled the standard sheet off the standard dry erase board. "... Prostitution: How Not to Pick Up a Cop."

"In your typical cities that don't have brothels, you'll usually find prostitutes on a street corner at night. They're often dressed whorishly, with short skirts, skimpy tops, and heels that take five years off their life expectancy. Male hookers, known as gigolos, sometimes wear the same things. They lure you in with these clothes and other forms of advertising, such as clever signs or ventriloquist puppets acting as pimps." Strangely enough, GOB was actually talking about something that he knew to be true from experience. His puppet, Franklin, was a pimp for a time.

"But the police know all about those things and then they set up what a good lawyer will argue is entrapment. They dress up just like the real hookers and know how the real hookers work. There are several ways to check if your hooker is a cop, but they all depend on one thing: don't actually agree to anything. It's not soliciting a prostitute if you haven't actually agreed to have sex and there's no understanding of some sort of money transaction. The police are tricky and might try to fool you with questions like, 'Wanna screw? Just fifty bucks!' or 'Looking for a prostitute?' If they ask you that, just chat them up a bit, see if you can get them to come back to a cheap motel room with you without the promise of money."

"If you do that well enough you can even try not to pay. If they're a cop, they're screwed two ways because without money, they just boinked you for the fun of it and they don't get to make a bust. But if they're an actual hooker, they'll send their pimp after you soon enough and then you'll know that your trick was no illusion."

"Remember, though, not agreeing to sex is your buffer. If you blow that you're still not in trouble. It's not illegal until there's money involved. And if you can disguise the money transaction, it doesn't count as prostitution at all! See if they'll let you buy them dinner and then go back to your place for dessert. Then it's technically a date. A date with a whore."

"Other ways to find out if your hooker is a cop include rubbing up against them and feeling for a badge, avoiding any prostitutes that have hand cuffs, asking them if they're a cop, and watching a street corner for weeks to see if your preferred hooker ever talks to cop cars that pass by. That's what we call 'being a smart consumer.' But be careful with it or the hookers might call it 'stalking' and you'll go to jail without even touching a genital."

"So, this week, your activity will be trying to hook up with a prostitute. Our volunteer prostitutes will be trying to get you to commit to something. First sex, then money. The rest of you, our Johns and Janes, will be trying to get them to agree to something without actually committing to anything yourself. And remember, worst case scenario, agree to sex but don't talk payment! Because one of our prostitutes is actually an undercover cop and they will bust you. If they bust you, you have to write on the board 20 times 'I will not get caught soliciting a prostitute' and they will get extra credit." GOB would not be giving extra credit for that. "If you can get your prostitute to leave with you without agreeing to a money transaction, you will get the extra credit." GOB would not be giving extra credit for that either. "Remember, though, this is a school project and therefore there will be no money changing hands or sex being had unless it's after class on your own time. Also, no groping or rubbing for badges. Nobody here has a badge and I don't want to get fired."

"Oh, and an exercise for homework. Try to get somebody to pay you for something that they could either do or arrange to have done without paying. If you can do that, bring the money next week as proof and you'll get some more extra credit." Again, he would not be assigning any extra credit. "Now, whore up!"

[OOC: The prostitutes will be Dick, Pam, Willow, and Zack. There are supplies for quickly made signs and ads and there are heels to wear to help you look whorish.

Right from the start we're probably near the line of NSFW so please don't push it too much. That said, have fun!]

Comments

ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

Prostitutes, please set up at the campground (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh_ooc/423914.html#cutid3). One each in front of Snowman, Minotaur, Salamander, and Jackalope. No, these are not, technically, corners. But it's not, technically, a street either.

Johns and Janes, pick a prostitute based on the way they present themselves and go for it! Please note that our undercover cop can arrest you whenever they deem that you've gone far enough for them to do so. And you start off behind the campfire, so you can't tell if anyone has been arrested. Mwahaha. Charge in blindly!

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Looking even more like jail-bait than usual, Zack leant up against Jackalope's wall.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[turtle-techie.livejournal.com]

Donatello chose randomly and ended up approaching Zack with the look of a deer caught in very bright headlights. "...Hi."

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Zack didn't look much more comfortable. "Hey."

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[turtle-techie.livejournal.com]

"How's your day so far?" Donnie finally asked, going for the "chat them up" tactic.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"I had to deal with insane people in Professor Lyman's class."

Way to stay in character, Zack.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[keds-champion.livejournal.com]

Pam stood by Minotaur, looking annoyed more than anything, and more awkward than usual. Which was kind of saying something.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

For some reason, Johnny didn't think this girl looked none too happy in her profession.

"Hey," he approached slowly. "Nice boa. You look...hot. Uh, you want anything to drink?" Crafty him produced a bottled water from hehind his back.

What? Maaan! Like he knew how to pick up a whore.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[keds-champion.livejournal.com]

Pam blushed like a big blushing thing and took the water. "Um. Thanks. Are you...looking for a good time?"

A little part of Pam died just then.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Johnny gave her his best cheesy grin, "Well I dunno, sweetheart. What classifies as a good time?"

Johnny just might like this exercise.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[keds-champion.livejournal.com]

"Anything you want," Pam said, shifting uncomfortably and trying to look sexy. It was an interesting combination. "For the right price."

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[senor-chado.livejournal.com]

No, this wasn't awkward at all. Trying to pick up people in the bar was one thing, trying to solicit prostitutes was another. Since he got the least, um, threatening whore-vibes from Pam, he sidled up next to her.

"Uh, hey."

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[keds-champion.livejournal.com]

"...hi," Pam said. "Um, how are you today?"

Pam kind of failed at hooker.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[senor-chado.livejournal.com]

"Good, good," Chad nodded; he didn't think hookers would be this nice, so he was feeling he'd gone with the right one. "You?"

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[surferboy-09er.livejournal.com]

Dick was standing in front of Salamander, playing with the feather on his pimp hat. He wondered if taking off his shirt would get him more business...

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[notajar]

The scary thing is that hat would actually be quite stylish where Door's from. She approaches Dick thoughtfully, wearing a polite smile. "That's quite a nice hat."

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[surferboy-09er.livejournal.com]

"Why thank you." he said. Dick had never seen a male hooker before but he tried to act they way he thought they would. "The feather's pretty big isn't it?"

Smooth.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[notajar]

That's all right; Door's never seen a male prostitute either. Though she has seen Seely in drag. So she knows what one should not look like.

"Why yes, it is quite a big.... feather." Door looks appraisingly at him.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow took up a spot in front of Snowman. She had on her big hat, and a glittery sign she had made which said "Hi! =)" Complete with the happy face.

She waited for anyone to come up.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Inara approached Willow, already shaking her head. From what she'd seen in class, the girl could do so much better than this. Still, at least she was friendly. "Hello, that's a lovely hat."

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Thank you very much," Willow said. "It helps keep the sun out of my eyes."

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"Is there a reason you're standing here on the corner?" She asked, still unable to believe that GOB was teaching people this nonsense about prostitution.

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[tiger-bouncer.livejournal.com]

"This assignment sucks," Kou muttered under his breath as he headed over toward Willow. He didn't pick up prostitutes; he was a believer of the 'don't touch that, you don't know where it's been' school of thought.

"Hey," he said to Willow, raising his hand in a sortof half wave. "Busy?"

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Not at the moment," Willow said. "You?"

Re: ACTIVITY! Prostitutes in Action!

[tiger-bouncer.livejournal.com]

"A little bit bored, actually. See, I'm in this class that doesn't have much basis in real life." He shrugged. "It's a long story. Wanna go get some coffee?"