Stabbing People for Fun and Profit: Mercenary Work for Beginners, Monday, Period 4

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool was very bad at remembering to let his students know where they were meeting each week. He blamed being distracted by marathon of the newest cycle of America's Next Top Model, despite that being on Sunday and not last week in class. He'd get better at letting the kids know to go to the Danger Shoppe, really he would.

Someday...

"Today we're going to talk about a topic near and dear to my heart," Deadpool said, grinning at the students happily. "No, it's not Bea Arthur, though she will always be the love of my life despite what those restraining orders say. No, today we learn about guns! You know, those pretty things that go boom when you pull the trigger, unless you have a silencer and then it's more of a hissing fwump noise that sounds a lot better when those onomatopoeia's actually happen in the panel, but noooo, they don't happen here."

Sometimes he missed the panels and the horrible exposition and the being able to shout a soliloquy in the middle of a short jump because time stood still for it. Then he remembered the horrible manboobs and rejoiced at being here.

Though it would be nice to be able to get his yellow font back.

"Now instead of going though the massive amount of guns out there for you to use, I'm going to just let you try out three of my favorites." He held up one heck of a handgun and waggled it in the air. "This pretty girl here is the Desert Eagle. And I don't just like her because she has commercial appeal, that's part of it, but it's also because she packs one heck of a punch." Pause. "And just look at her! Don't you want one of these?"

He picked up another, much larger gun. "And this is the Avtomat Kalashnikova 1947, also know as the AK-47. The best thing to come out of Russia since vodka and Anna Kournikova. Now, yes, this is an older gun, but I always say that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And also that spleens are less fun to have removed than one might imagine, but that's for a completely different reason." He cleared his throat. "This beaut was made back in '47 and is still used today, what does that tell you other than the Russian military stockpiled them and they slowly leaked onto the black market and were favoured due to their durability and accuracy after years of use? Anyone? Anyone?"

He sighed. "Fine, how about this one?" Deadpool asked, holding up a sniper rifle. "Finally we get to the sniper rifle, your friend on those long distance relationships with a target. Less easy to do than it sounds, really. There's wind, angle, whether or not you get distracted by that damn teeny bopper song you have stuck in your head for a month or two when you're supposed to be waiting to kill a Greek missionary because he knows too much and you feel very Cosa Nostra about the whole thing until they slip out of the country and you have to hunt them down in Sweden. You have any idea how boring Sweden is? Do you?!"

(TMI, huh?)

"So! Try them out, not on each other please. That'll get you detention and me smacking you upside the head." He looked directly at Sokka. "Got it?"

"Have fun!"

[[ooc: Please wait for the OCD is up!]]

Comments

Sign In

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Show him your fierce icons!

Re: Sign In

[snow-white-boy.livejournal.com]

Haku

During the Lecture

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

There weren't even those hot Swedish twin chicks he assumed lived in every town there. What a ripoff.

Re: During the Lecture

[snow-white-boy.livejournal.com]

How this man was still alive completely boggled Haku. Of course he'd known stranger people who were very good at fighting, like Naruto. Perhaps Deadpool was like that.

Re: During the Lecture

[girlzippo.livejournal.com]

Charlie found this all entertaining but unsettling. Deadpool, not the guns. The guns? Yeah, she's not loving those. Time to get over the phobias though, right?

Re: During the Lecture

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

Setsuna wasn't exactly sure why she was taking notes, or why she even felt she cared because she had no intention of really using guns in her trade, because that was Mana's thing. But there she was, doing it anyway.

Re: During the Lecture

[socksofcool.livejournal.com]

Seely was incredibly attentive during the lecture. Because shiny.

Re: During the Lecture

[henryoredward.livejournal.com]

Edward had never been too fond of guns. They seemed like a sissy way out of a fight. But he understood that a gun could be a trump card in a tight spot, so he took careful notes on all the firearms presented.

Re: During the Lecture

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

Deadpool didn't have to worry about Sokka today. He wasn't making any trouble. In fact, he was sitting quietly and gazing lovingly at the guns with big, round eyes. And grinning like a madman.

Okay, maybe Deadpool DID have to worry.

Try out the Guns!

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

So, what'll it be? The Desert Eagle, the AK-47 or the M93 Black Arrow?

Re: Try out the Guns!

[snow-white-boy.livejournal.com]

Knowing absolutely nothing about guns, and never handling them before. Haku decided to go with the smallest one and picked up the Desert Eagle and looked baffled with what to do with it.

Re: Try out the Guns!

[sound-loyalty.livejournal.com]

Kabuto was immediately enamored of the sniper rifle. Big surprise. He'd read about guns, but he'd never had a chance to fire any, since they didn't exist where he was from.

"...Wow," he said. "How far away can you kill someone with this?"

Re: Try out the Guns!

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

The larger guns were definitely more Mana's area, so Setsuna was partial to trying out the Desert Eagle. It had such nice workmanship, too.

...Okay, she had a gun and she was going to try to fire it. This? Would be interesting...

Re: Try out the Guns!

[girlzippo.livejournal.com]

Charlie looked grim and a little worried, then carefully picked up the Desert Eagle. Just a gun, just a gun... and this was the Danger Shop. No one getting hurt here.

Re: Try out the Guns!

[socksofcool.livejournal.com]

There was something about the sniper rifle that fascinated Seely. Even if the show's never actually shown him using one so he can have a sniper!Seely icon, dammit.

Re: Try out the Guns!

[x5-alec.livejournal.com]

Alec looked at all three guns and tried to decide which to use first, though the AK-47 was edging out in the lead. Maybe the sniper rifle instead? He'd never used one of those outside of training.

Re: Try out the Guns!

[sixstandingby.livejournal.com]

The Desert Eagle looked most like the blaster he was familiar with so he picked it up an studied it, trying to find more similarities. Unfortunately, the shape and size was about all they had in common.

Re: Try out the Guns!

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

"Can I try out my gun?" Mel said with a slight bounce. "It's been a while since I got to use it."

Re: Try out the Guns!

[jedi-qui.livejournal.com]

Qui-Gon looked at all the guns with an expression of distaste. Guns were just so... inelegant really.

Re: Try out the Guns!

[henryoredward.livejournal.com]

Edward took his time choosing. He didn't like the sniper rifle very much; he didn't see the fun in shooting someone when no one could see you do it. It made killing so cold and indifferent. Edward thought it was something to enjoy.
Edward looked at the AK-47 and the Desert Eagle. Both of those were suitable. The Desert Eagle was far more portable, and a handgun would probably be more comfortable at a closer range. But the AK-47 looked like it would be all right for close-range fighting, too. Maybe he could hit someone with it. Edward turned to Professor Deadpool.
"Would the AK-47 also function as a blunt instrument? If you ran out of ammunition, or were engaged in a grapple?"

Re: Try out the Guns!

[thebluespirit.livejournal.com]

Zuko frowned and picked up the smaller one of the guns. He'd much rather just stick to firebending.

Re: Try out the Guns!

[im-fullmetal.livejournal.com]

Ed eyed the guns thoughtfully and picked up the Desert Eagle because it looked most like the one the Lieutenant used. The weight felt uncomfortable in his hands.

Re: Try out the Guns!

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

Sokka noticed Deadpool's preference for the Desert Eagle, and was going to pick that one to suck up, really he was, but the AK-47 was just so... There was something beautiful about it.

Besides, he'd used pistols before, in gun club, and the AK-47 was something new and different. And he'd heard of it, too -- it was the favorite weapon of Random Bad Guy in That Movie From The 1980s With Lots Of Explosions.

So he jammed the stock against his shoulder, sighted down the barrel, fumbled for a bit while trying to figure out how to take off the safety, and then filled the target full of lead. Surprisingly, without falling over.

Talk to the Teacher

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

He loved his guns a bit too much.

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[snow-white-boy.livejournal.com]

"Sir, may I ask you a question?"

After speaking with Johnny the night before, Haku had decided to make sure people knew he was a boy.

OOC

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

*flops over*

I forgot I had class to write.

Re: OOC

[turtle-toughguy.livejournal.com]

Sorry I didn't get a chance to play this week. Sucky, sucky, oh so sucky day.