Stabbing People for Fun and Profit: Mercenary Work for Beginners, Monday, Period 4

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool was very bad at remembering to let his students know where they were meeting each week. He blamed being distracted by marathon of the newest cycle of America's Next Top Model, despite that being on Sunday and not last week in class. He'd get better at letting the kids know to go to the Danger Shoppe, really he would.

Someday...

"Today we're going to talk about a topic near and dear to my heart," Deadpool said, grinning at the students happily. "No, it's not Bea Arthur, though she will always be the love of my life despite what those restraining orders say. No, today we learn about guns! You know, those pretty things that go boom when you pull the trigger, unless you have a silencer and then it's more of a hissing fwump noise that sounds a lot better when those onomatopoeia's actually happen in the panel, but noooo, they don't happen here."

Sometimes he missed the panels and the horrible exposition and the being able to shout a soliloquy in the middle of a short jump because time stood still for it. Then he remembered the horrible manboobs and rejoiced at being here.

Though it would be nice to be able to get his yellow font back.

"Now instead of going though the massive amount of guns out there for you to use, I'm going to just let you try out three of my favorites." He held up one heck of a handgun and waggled it in the air. "This pretty girl here is the Desert Eagle. And I don't just like her because she has commercial appeal, that's part of it, but it's also because she packs one heck of a punch." Pause. "And just look at her! Don't you want one of these?"

He picked up another, much larger gun. "And this is the Avtomat Kalashnikova 1947, also know as the AK-47. The best thing to come out of Russia since vodka and Anna Kournikova. Now, yes, this is an older gun, but I always say that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And also that spleens are less fun to have removed than one might imagine, but that's for a completely different reason." He cleared his throat. "This beaut was made back in '47 and is still used today, what does that tell you other than the Russian military stockpiled them and they slowly leaked onto the black market and were favoured due to their durability and accuracy after years of use? Anyone? Anyone?"

He sighed. "Fine, how about this one?" Deadpool asked, holding up a sniper rifle. "Finally we get to the sniper rifle, your friend on those long distance relationships with a target. Less easy to do than it sounds, really. There's wind, angle, whether or not you get distracted by that damn teeny bopper song you have stuck in your head for a month or two when you're supposed to be waiting to kill a Greek missionary because he knows too much and you feel very Cosa Nostra about the whole thing until they slip out of the country and you have to hunt them down in Sweden. You have any idea how boring Sweden is? Do you?!"

(TMI, huh?)

"So! Try them out, not on each other please. That'll get you detention and me smacking you upside the head." He looked directly at Sokka. "Got it?"

"Have fun!"

[[ooc: Please wait for the OCD is up!]]