fandomhigh | Detention: Saturday, May 26

Jerry Sizzler and his sister, Jerry Sizzler, found their way to the Danger Room bright and early Saturday morning. They discovered the control panel and began pushing all sorts of buttons, and giggling like ... well. Like two clearly insane people, that's what.

There was a sign-up sheet near detention that was probably posted by someone not them, as it was coherent and legible.

~~Jim Ellison~~
~~Hermione Granger~~
Keladry of Mindelan
~~Sokka~~
~~Sam Winchester~~

When the students entered detention, they would probably notice that nearly the entire room was a rather bright shade of teal. Except for the slices of ham suspended from the ceiling. And the cube over in the corner that kept turning into a sphere, and back again, which was more of a reddish-pink. Along the back wall were two-foot-high letters wrapped in tinfoil, reading: SHINY. And every thirty seconds, a large drop of water fell from the center of the ceiling and landed on the floor, where it turned into a fish.

"Welcome to detention, pricks," said one Jerry.

"Yooooou have detention, you all have deteeeeeeeeention," sang the other, shimmying around.

"You have broken the rules and must be punished."

"Yes! For that is how we do things here in West Greenway!"

"We have programmed this room to take you to your complete and utter doom!"

"None will escape alive! None of you!"

"Except of course for you." Jerry pointed at one student randomly.

"Yes, of course. The Chosen One." The other Jerry nodded.

Both bowed.

"Now! Enter our pit of fighting and doom! Do it or die, you prrrrrrrrricks!"

Both Jerries laughed evilly. More crazily than evilly, really.

Welcome to Detention ... with the Jerries.

(~~You know the drill, babies, the OCD's a-comin'~~ It's up. Detention is now in session.)

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Do it now! Use any name you'd like! Name your favorite tune, or cut of beef!

Are you the Chosen One? Maybe just snag some of that ham. Mmmm. Ham.

The danger room was still that interesting shade of teal, but there were now rows and rows of vegetable carts added in with the ham, and the SHINY, and the cube. Most of the vegetable carts had vegetables in them, but a few had batteries, some had hair ties, and a few had I LIKE IKE memorabilia. There was a large plush monkey in the back of the room, holding a cup in its hands, and a perfectly ordinary puppy napping in one corner.

"Greetings and salutations of expediency!" announced a young man who stepped into the room, bowing. He probably looked oddly familiar to most of you. "I am indeed the high Chancellor of Mexifinway, His Honor the Archduke. I require and obsequiate new donkeys, for mine have run away. Many of the verbiages I utilize are confusing, and long! I articulate in a sophisticated manner becoming of my birth. And you shall fetch for me what I ask, or I shall have at thee with my militia of socks!"

Activity number one: get His Grace those donkeys, won't you?

For activity number two, you are handed a slip of paper and asked to select a door from those magically appearing in front of you. They all look exactly the same. However shall you choose?

Activity number two: select a door and shut it behind you, and your encounter will be revealed, along with what's on that pesky slip of paper.

Somehow, completely by mistake I assure you, lunch is perfectly normal. There is a large table with pizza, breadsticks, salad, and related sandwiches, and a nicely moddable selection of drinks.

Enjoy your lunch, won't you?

The danger room shimmers and is replaced with a perfectly normal street in what appears to be a random city. Possibly Toronto.

There is a man sitting in a folding chair in front of you, and he is ...

"Crush! Crush! I am crushing your head! Do not attempt to fight it because your head is crushed!"

Activity 3: save your head from certain doom!

Yes. Only this time, all of the doorways are covered in blinking VCR displays, gold chains, and tubes of lipstick.

Still.

Activity 4: pick a door, read your paper, encounter your doom. Possibly not-so-doom. Possibly not very doomy at all. But probably doom.

It's certainly supposed to be. You're free to go!

Well, if you can convince the Jerries to let you go.

Good luck with that.

Be gentle, darlings, it's my first time.

Many thanks to

ihatedenmark for letting me swipe Hamlet, and to

themountieman for helpful tips and tricks, to everyone who had to listen to me flail on IM, and of course to you, the viewers who support PBS. We couldn't survive without your donations, you know.

Her Ladyship Miss Flank Steak, ArchDukeChancellor of Town

Sokka's mouth was watering. "Dude, is that real ham or Danger Room ham?" He jumped up, trying to snag some of that ham. Mmmm. Ham.

"Greetings and salutations, Mister Archduke!"

Donkeys? Sokka knew from donkeys.

"I'm terribly sorry, but the donkeys drowned."

Door. Paper.

Sokka peered though a door anxiously, not sure if he wanted to see what the Jerries came up with. He winced a little as he shut it behind him, and looked around.

FOOD!

Sokka was all over that like a food-eating thing.

"Do not touch the ham!" shouted one Jerry.

"It is not here for you," hissed the other.

If Sokka managed to score any, it was perfectly normal ham.

Mmmm. Ham.

"Your conversationalitude displeases me," said His Honor, making a face. "I require and demand donkeys, and no arthropod will suffice. Drowning will not excuse the impertinence of your interface, young man. Now obtain my donkeys at once."

"Okay, okay, I won't," Sokka replied, waving the piece of ham he grabbed in their general direction. "See? I am NOT TOUCHING THE HAM," he added, as he took a bite.

Sokka frowned in concentration, trying to understand what the guy was saying.

Then he pushed a vegetable cart towards him. "Here are your donkeys, good sir," he said, bowing low. "As you can see, they are quite drowned, but otherwise in perfect health."

The room changed into a perfectly normal apartment ... well, let's not say too normal. But a standard apartment all the same.

A woman ... again, the term is used loosely ... stepped into the living room, head ducking this way and that. "Well! Let's get a look at you! You don't look too bright, do you?"

If Sokka were to look down at his piece of paper, he might notice that it reads:

Escape from the apartment of the Chickenlady.

His Highness the Fancypants Bishop was now laughing at Sokka.

"Are you deficient visually? Have you not eyes within your skull? These are rabbits, and young tender rabbits indeed, but a cucumber is not a cabbage, nor will it ever be. I find your joke amusing, but my requirements have not changed."

Sam Winchester, Fan of Rib Eyes.

Sam really, really hated the detention lottery right now.

He was hungry, but not hungry enough to eat questionable Danger Shop ham.

Sam looked around, unsure about whether or not there would be real donkeys involved in this scenario. "Um. Do you know where your donkeys ran away to? Or do you want completely new ones? Uh, sir."

"Good, then," Jerry said with a nod.

"We were going to have to get violent there, Jerry," said the other Jerry.

They appeared to no longer care or realize that he was in fact eating the ham.

Mmmmmm. Ham.

Escape from the bwuh??? Sokka wasn't sure how "escape" factored into the situation.

"Hiya, lady," he said, with a leer. Hey, she was female, right? That might help!

"I just need to go step outside for a bit. Which door's the exit?"

Page 1 of 9

Detention: Saturday, May 26

SIGN IN!

Boggle, Weep, Fear for your Sanity

Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

Activity 2: Select a Doorway and Encounter Your DOOM!

Lunch!

Activity 3: Your Head! Save It!

Activity 4: Doorways Again?

Bonus Activity: Isn't Detention Over?

OOC

Re: SIGN IN!

Re: Boggle, Weep, Fear for your Sanity

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

Re: Activity 2: Select a Doorway and Encounter Your DOOM!

Re: Lunch!

Re: Boggle, Weep, Fear for your Sanity

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

Re: Boggle, Weep, Fear for your Sanity

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

Re: Activity 2: Select a Doorway and Encounter Your DOOM!

Re: Boggle, Weep, Fear for your Sanity

Re: SIGN IN!

Re: Boggle, Weep, Fear for your Sanity

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

Re: Boggle, Weep, Fear for your Sanity

Re: Activity 2: Select a Doorway and Encounter Your DOOM!