fandomhigh | Detention: Saturday, May 26

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detention

Detention: Saturday, May 26

Jerry Sizzler and his sister, Jerry Sizzler, found their way to the Danger Room bright and early Saturday morning. They discovered the control panel and began pushing all sorts of buttons, and giggling like ... well. Like two clearly insane people, that's what.

There was a sign-up sheet near detention that was probably posted by someone not them, as it was coherent and legible.

~~Jim Ellison~~
~~Hermione Granger~~
Keladry of Mindelan
~~Sokka~~
~~Sam Winchester~~

When the students entered detention, they would probably notice that nearly the entire room was a rather bright shade of teal. Except for the slices of ham suspended from the ceiling. And the cube over in the corner that kept turning into a sphere, and back again, which was more of a reddish-pink. Along the back wall were two-foot-high letters wrapped in tinfoil, reading: SHINY. And every thirty seconds, a large drop of water fell from the center of the ceiling and landed on the floor, where it turned into a fish.

"Welcome to detention, pricks," said one Jerry.

"Yooooou have detention, you all have deteeeeeeeeention," sang the other, shimmying around.

"You have broken the rules and must be punished."

"Yes! For that is how we do things here in West Greenway!"

"We have programmed this room to take you to your complete and utter doom!"

"None will escape alive! None of you!"

"Except of course for you." Jerry pointed at one student randomly.

"Yes, of course. The Chosen One." The other Jerry nodded.

Both bowed.

"Now! Enter our pit of fighting and doom! Do it or die, you prrrrrrrrricks!"

Both Jerries laughed evilly. More crazily than evilly, really.

Welcome to Detention ... with the Jerries.

(~~You know the drill, babies, the OCD's a-comin'~~ It's up. Detention is now in session.)

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The danger room was still that interesting shade of teal, but there were now rows and rows of vegetable carts added in with the ham, and the SHINY, and the cube. Most of the vegetable carts had vegetables in them, but a few had batteries, some had hair ties, and a few had I LIKE IKE memorabilia. There was a large plush monkey in the back of the room, holding a cup in its hands, and a perfectly ordinary puppy napping in one corner.

"Greetings and salutations of expediency!" announced a young man who stepped into the room, bowing. He probably looked oddly familiar to most of you. "I am indeed the high Chancellor of Mexifinway, His Honor the Archduke. I require and obsequiate new donkeys, for mine have run away. Many of the verbiages I utilize are confusing, and long! I articulate in a sophisticated manner becoming of my birth. And you shall fetch for me what I ask, or I shall have at thee with my militia of socks!"

Activity number one: get His Grace those donkeys, won't you?

"Greetings and salutations, Mister Archduke!"

Donkeys? Sokka knew from donkeys.

"I'm terribly sorry, but the donkeys drowned."

"Your conversationalitude displeases me," said His Honor, making a face. "I require and demand donkeys, and no arthropod will suffice. Drowning will not excuse the impertinence of your interface, young man. Now obtain my donkeys at once."

Sokka frowned in concentration, trying to understand what the guy was saying.

Then he pushed a vegetable cart towards him. "Here are your donkeys, good sir," he said, bowing low. "As you can see, they are quite drowned, but otherwise in perfect health."

His Highness the Fancypants Bishop was now laughing at Sokka.

"Are you deficient visually? Have you not eyes within your skull? These are rabbits, and young tender rabbits indeed, but a cucumber is not a cabbage, nor will it ever be. I find your joke amusing, but my requirements have not changed."

"No, no, no," Sokka said. "THIS is a cucumber" -- he held up a tomato from the cart -- "this is a cabbage" -- holding up a battery -- "and THIS" he said, gesturing to the cart itself, "is a donkey. Slightly used."

His Eminence the Governor was eyeing Sokka and considering it. "I had mistaken you for an utter fool, and not simply an incompetent wretch. You have my apologies as limited as they may be, and receive them with my compliments. If you wish me to believe that heap is a donkey, then it is the sorriest beast of burden I have laid ocular orbs upon in many these long years. I am not certain I would wish for such a pitiful thing to be in my employ or personal bank accounts." He tapped his lips thoughtfully.

Re: Boggle, Weep, Fear for your Sanity

sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com - 2007-05-26 16:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Boggle, Weep, Fear for your Sanity

sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com - 2007-05-26 16:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Boggle, Weep, Fear for your Sanity

sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com - 2007-05-26 17:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com - 2007-05-26 17:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com - 2007-05-26 17:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com - 2007-05-26 17:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com - 2007-05-26 18:06 (UTC) - Expand

Sam looked around, unsure about whether or not there would be real donkeys involved in this scenario. "Um. Do you know where your donkeys ran away to? Or do you want completely new ones? Uh, sir."

"Greetings of the day and the night should it come to that," said His Majesty calmly. "I was of course rather fond of the previous donkeys, as even someone with my high birth and visage may grow attached to a common beast. However I constreperously assure you, my good sir, that either scenario would meet with my endorsement. Obtain for me new donkeys, or retrieve my former donkeys; the selection is yours."

"O--okay," Sam stammered, starting to look around. "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer some vegetables instead? They're very healthy, and smell better than donkeys."

"Are you saying that my donkeys are bestenched?" His Awesomeness the King did not seem pleased with that. "I assuage you, my good gentleman, I wash my donkeys with only the finest loofahs in the land. I am low on bath salts, but when one is Pope, one cannot merely visit the closest market and sample their wares." He sighed.

"I didn't mean to insult your donkeys, I swear," Sam said quickly. "What kind of donkeys are you looking for?" he asked, giving in to the insanity a little.

"Your obeisance is noted and attrition, granted." His Royalness was feeling generous. "The donkeys which I seek should be trustworthy beasts, comfortable taking their share of the workload yet not wholly unable to be amiable outside of a formalized setting. A donkey I might consider a friend, were it not in my employ for the furtherance of the crown. Find me two such beasts and I shall be well pleased indeed."

Hermione hears the repeated word 'donkeys' and says, "And now I know who I talked to on the phone."

"The phone? I am of course His Lordship the Right Honorable and I am far too busy to utilize such plebian devices. I have counselors who have assistants who have associates who hand off such menial tasks." His Lordship looked displeased. "This conversing is not gaining me any donkeys, you know."

This is just too weird for Hermione's huge brain.

"I already gave you donkeys," she says.

"Did you?" His Worship the Pea-Sorter was unconvinced. "If you had, would I not have a receipt? One such is not in my possession, or in my possessions, as it were. I find no such item and must doubt your tale. I hope that you are not intending to deceive the crown."

"Of course not," she says. "I gave you a receipt. Maybe it's in your other pants?"

"Other pants?" His Right Honorableship the Senator was confused. "I did not believe I possessed other pants, for my belongings are singularly unusual and strange."

He began to check his current pants pockets. "Have you no other record of this transaction? If this receipt is missing I fear we are indeed at an impasse."

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

smartestone - 2007-05-26 21:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com - 2007-05-26 22:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

smartestone - 2007-05-26 22:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com - 2007-05-26 22:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Activity 1: Appease the Archduke Mayor!

smartestone - 2007-05-26 23:05 (UTC) - Expand

"You want the donkeys, get the damn donkeys yourself."

Yes, Jim is in a pleasant and cheerful mood today.

"Oh, have you a sharp tongue?! I'll have you know I am King, and your words may have you placed in the cells, or separated forthwith from your head! I do not simply retrieve my own donkeys! Now go at once!"

Jim was Unimpressed. He folded his arms. "No." He looked around for somewhere to sit until he could leave.

His Archdukery the Bishop folded his arms. "We have all day, you know. We have days! Weeks, months, years. I have waited a century for the right donkeys and I shall wait longer." He made a shooing motion with his arms.

Jim ignored him and sat down. It was only detention, it had to be over some time. Maybe he'd try one of those meditation techniques Blair was always trying to make him use.

His Highness the Royal Official Sort began singing "Alouette" and doing the hula loudly. With occasional bumpties thrown in.

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