fandomhigh | Library [04/20]

Luke had spent the lunch hour talking a walk to blow off steam from the Doctor's class.

It hadn't really worked.

Thus, library.

"Hi," he said, giving Rory a tight smile.

"Hi," Rory said, looking up. "What happened?"

Little attuned to the Skywalker boys by now, yes.

Luke tried to rolled some of the tension out of his shoulders. "We had a fascinating class on embracing loss," he said, voice acid. "Because no one at this school has ever known what it's like to lose someone. The Doctor listed off people he'd left behind or had died or whatever and I have a list like that too and I didn't want to think about them today."

Oh, he looked young.

"Luke," she said softly, rolling the chair out a little and pointing to the one next to her. "Sit down."

Luke sat down, his leg jittering with nervous energy and the muscles in his jaw clenching.

"Now, listen. I don't think he meant anything by it," she said quietly. "It's not Intentionally Inflict Trauma On Luke Day, unless my calendar is wrong."

"Half the class was practically in tears," he muttered to the ground.

"Well, then that wasn't very sensitive of him," she said, frowning.

Luke had wrapped his arms around himself. "When I talked to him about it after class--with Dean and Sokka and Gwynn--he pretty much blew us off. I don't like him."

"Well, it's your last class," she pointed out.

Luke nodded, still curled in on himself. "It was bad," he said. "I don't know how to explain it."

"No, I know, sweetie," she said, reaching over to run her hand over his back. "But it's over now."

Luke shook his head as the parade of names raced through his head.

"I can't turn them off," he whispered. "Ben and Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru and Biggs and Porkins and..." his voice broke. "Too many."

Fun kid.

"Luke, I know," she said softly. "And it's wildly unfair for someone to intentionally put you through that again. But hanging onto resentment isn't going to help anything."

Luke turned away. "It stops the other kind of pain for a while."

"But in the long run, it's not helping," she said.

Luke nodded silently, still not facing her.

"And since it's the last class, you don't have to deal with him," she reminded him. "'There's that."

Luke sighed. "You think I'm being ridiculous, huh."

"I think you're grieving," she said. "It's not exactly unfamiliar territory."

Luke scooted closer, eyes still downcast, and dropped his head against her shoulder. "I hate this."

"No one likes this," she murmured, reaching a hand up to run through his hair.

"I want to be ten years old again," he said in a small, sad voice. "When none of this had happened."

"No, you don't," she said, snugging him close. "Because I didn't know you then."

"But you're leaving too," he said. "Not the way Biggs left...but..."

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