fandomhigh | Library [04/03]

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Library [04/03]

Sam was treating himself to coffee and a bagel as he went to ~~belatedly, omg~~ open the library.

"Maybe?" Sam said. "Look Dean, I don't know. I mean, this is all so hypothetical. I don't know how well I'll be able to lie, or how much I'll have to, or how much I'll be able to tell people about you and your potential demon guts to begin with. It's not like either of us have experience with this sort of thing."

"Yeah, because you never left before," Dean said.

"It's not leaving. It's..." Sam sighed. "Why do you have to make me going to college sound like such a bad thing?"

"Maybe because you make it sound like it's an escape? Like your life now is so horrible you can't wait to leave it all behind."

"You have to admit, our lives are kind of screwed up," Sam said. "Have you really never thought about what it would be like to have a regular, normal life?"

Memories from before, where his family had been complete and he'd been happy, safe, secure, and any fears of the dark could be banished with a simple nightlight, swam through Dean's mind.

"I had a normal life," he said quietly. "Then Mom was killed."

"So, does that mean you can never have a normal life again? What about when we find the thing that killed Mom? There won't be any need for us to hunt after that."

"There's still going to be things out there," Dean said. "Hurting, killing, ripping families apart and putting them through the same hell we've been through."

Sam sighed. "I know. It's not like we're the only hunters out there, though," he said. "You want to keep being one of them, I get that. But I don't."

"It's not as bad as you keep making it out to be though," Dean said. "It's not something that needs to be escaped."

"If I had a choice, it wouldn't need to be an escape. But that's not the way it is with Dad. His options are the only options, and anything that doesn't involve hunting can't even be considered without a long, drawn out fight."

"He has his reasons for everything he does Sammy. It's not to ruin your life or anything."

"Sure, he has reasons. But they're not good ones," Sam said. "I'm not meant to be a hunter, Dean. I'm no good at it, no matter how much training Dad tries to drill into me. So why shouldn't I be able to choose to do something else?"

"You think you could do that without dissing what you're not choosing?" Dean asked. "Because you've been pretty much doing that since the topic was brought up."

"I'm sorry," Sam said sincerely. "I'm not trying to...I know hunting is important, and that doing what we do saves lives, and helps people in ways we probably don't even realize. I just want to find a way to help people that's...different."

"See if you said that it like that right off the bat I'd be less worried that you're going to throw Dad and me out with the bathwater."

"I don't want to throw you and Dad away. No matter what kind of friends I make, or where I go, you're my brother, and that makes you more important than anything or anyone else."

"You might want to choose your words a little more carefully sometimes," Dean advised. "You get so caught up in what you want that you don't realise you're being offensive."

Sam sighed softly. "Okay Dad." At least that probably wouldn't be offensive to Dean.

Dean playfully cuffed Sammy in the head. "Brat."

Sam laughed and swatted at Dean in return. "Jerk."

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Library [04/03]

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