fandomhigh | Ethics [Monday, February 5, 5th period]

The door to the Ethics classroom rocked back on its hinges as per usual but instead of a cloaked Sith Lord, a small ball hovered its way into the room.

It was black. It was shiny. It was incredibly menacing.

It surveyed the class for a long, quiet moment before Vader entered the room.

"There was a rebel captured recently in my home galaxy," Vader began, "who possessed knowledge about where the headquarters of her wrong-headed and illegal organization was located. After extensive interrogation, it was decided that extreme measures must be taken to get her to reveal her information."

Vader paused, the only sound in the room his ventilation unit.

"So we destroyed her home planet from space."

Vader paced in front of his desk, his black cape sweeping out behind him. "This is an interrogation droid," he continued, waving his hand at the hovering orb. "There are times when asking politely for information accomplishes nothing and blowing up a planet is inconvenient."

It was very clear that the interrogation droid had no capacity for talking, though. It was an extremely advanced instrument of torture.

"Today, we will conduct an experiment," Vader said, staring down the students. "Half of you will be rebel traitors who possess information about the location of your secret base." Those students received a slip of paper on their desks. "The other half of you are Imperial guards trying to obtain this information from your prisoner. I, personally, do not care what form your...questioning takes, but you cannot use actual physical violence."

There was a long pause. "In this particular exercise. In a real interrogation, it is practically required. When you reach a stalemate in your negotiations--and feel free to shoot at the prisoners with the water pistols from last week, for I do not see how getting wet can possible be construed as physical violence--," he said to the interrogators, pointing towards the box on his desk, "you may talk with your partner about how far you would be willing to go if the school would allow you to use physical violence, or if you had more time to get the prisoner to become...more pliable. Sleep deprivation also works very well."

He spun on his heel. "And don't do anything to make the interrogator droid notice you. Its programming is very sensitive. It would be a lot of paperwork if any of you were inadvertently tortured."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The fun-loving guy that he is...

And Mitch has wandered into another class. His first thought is that Darth Vader's clothing will surely drag him under should a sudden undertow appear.

He keeps a close eye on Vader, buoy at the ready.

"Are you lost?" Vader growled.

"Not at all," Mitch said amicably. "I'm Mitch Buchannon from the school board. Just taking a look at your class."

Vader remembered what Hades had said about being polite to the school board.

Vader didn't do polite.

"This is it," he said sharply. "I'm not allowed to kill any of the students."

Pause.

"Do I see you about changing that?"

"Student safety should be your utmost concern," Mitch said, frowning. "So, no. And I don't see that restriction being lifted either. These students are our future!"

"Have you met them?" Vader countered. "Have a five minute conversation with Jamie Madrox, then tell me they don't deserve to be killed for the greater good of humanity."

Not that Vader cared about the greater good of anything.

"Children are our future," Mitch repeated. "Besides, I believe there's a more important question here."

Vader had a bad feeling about this.

He asked anyway.

"What is the more important question?"

"You shouldn't wear so much...equipment," Mitch said. "It'll make rescuing you from a killer eel that much harder and some sun is good for the skin."

"It's not a fashion statement!" Vader roared, slamming his hand down on his desk.

Mitch raised his buoy for protection. "I've been trained in self defense," he said. "And there's no need for anger. Anger doesn't do anything but cause tension headaches. You look like you need a massage."

Vader took a moment to wonder if killing a board member would be better or worse than killing a student.

"I don't need a massage," he gritted out.

"It might loosen the tension," Mitch said. "Being a teacher is a very stressful job. I respect you for doing the job but everyone needs some time off."

"I'm not tense!" Vader snapped. "And this is hardly my only job."

"Oh?" Mitch stood firm against the yelling. He had a son, after all. "Are you a lifeguard too?"

Vader stopped himself from attempting to facehelmet.

"No."

"I could train you."

"I don't...do what you do."

Vader was a little worried about what the buoy was for.

"We could set you up in a junior lifeguarding class!" Mitch was quite excited by this prospect. "Have you in the water in no time!"

"I don't swim. Ever," Vader growled ~~as his mun's eyes were permanently blinded omfg~~.

"Being afraid of the water can be overcome," Mitch said sagely.

"I'm not afraid of the water," Vader snarled. "I'm breathing because of electronics, you fool."

"Electricity and water don't mix," Mitch said, waving a finger.

Vader seriously considering throwing this idiot through a wall.

"I'd never heard that before," he said dryly instead. "Thank you for sharing such wisdom. You can leave now."

The door rocked back on its hinges as Vader threw it open using the Force.