fandomhigh | School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

"Welcome, one and all, to the first school assembly of the new semester! In case you haven't met me yet, I am The Tick! Dean of Students here at Fandom High. That means that where student issues are concerned, I am the parking attendant in the self park garage of your education!"

"Today, we have a special in the garage! It's a special that speaks of a different kind of special you might get in a seedier garage. Today's special is called DANK: Drugs Are Not Kool! Spelling is cool, of course, but sometimes you have to make an exception and spell something with a 'k' to work. Anyway, we will have several speakers this afternoon, guiding your car into a parking space of a clean and healthy life! Please welcome our guests!"

[OOC: Each speaker will have their own thread, plus there will be a Q&A thread at the end of the post for them to ping into. Also, since it seems appropriate this time, there will be a thread for after the assembly to speak to the guests a bit more privately. Please wait to ask the speakers questions until the speakers have pinged in.

There are also a couple of general conversation threads for people who don't want to give their undivided attention. :)

Big thanks to all of the speakers! Speaking of which, speakers should be sure to check their comm invites.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Lucille walked up to the microphone looking bored out of her mind. "In my forty-seven years of life--" Nobody was buying that age, "-- I admit that I've made some mistakes. I may have had too much to drink on occasion--" Every day, "-- and maybe I've stayed on prescription medication too long in the past." She was still taking drugs for postpartum depression from her last pregnancy, her son Buster, who was now in his mid-30s. "I've been through rehab a number of times and like the woman in the terrible clothes before me said, it's no fun. Well, escaping from it is. They haven't built a rehab facility that can hold me yet." The pride she had at that would be apparent in a smile if she hadn't forgotten how to genuinely smile years ago.

"Sure, I enjoyed most of that, but that kind of drug use is still bad. You've met my son, GOB? I was drunk when he was conceived, he was such a rough pregnancy that I had to drink during it just to ignore him, and he drove me to even worse things after he was born. It's no wonder that he runs a bar now. Talk to him for three minutes and you'll be wanting a drink."

"So, if you drink or use drugs, you might end up with a son like GOB. Nobody wants that. Thank you"

Isabel facepalmed. This explained sooooo much.

Willow listened to all this very attentively. She found it fascinating to see GOB's mother.

Annette couldn't make heads or tails of this woman. She was, however, oddly interesting to listen too.

Poor GOB. Annette clicked her tongue and rested her chin in her hand.

Turtle stared. Oh, God. Lucille might as well have been holding a sign that said: "Grace Windsor-Wexler, the Latter Years."

She was never, ever, ever, ever going to be like her mother. Ever, ever, ever.

Dick liked this lady. She reminded him of his grandma. Only way older.

"oooooooooooohhhhhhhkay."

School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

Re: Speaker 4: Lucille Bluth

Re: Speaker 4: Lucille Bluth

Re: Speaker 4: Lucille Bluth

Re: Speaker 4: Lucille Bluth

Re: Speaker 4: Lucille Bluth

Re: Speaker 4: Lucille Bluth

Re: Speaker 4: Lucille Bluth