fandomhigh | Health Class, Friday, 11/10

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health

Health Class, Friday, 11/10

Elliot waited until the class was assembled before she began speaking.

"OKay, guys, your midterm projects are due today -- a two-minute health PSA on the topic of your choice in the medium of your choice, as you know because I mentioned it last time we met and I'm pretty sure none of you are deaf or totally hate me. Yet."

"Wow me."

"I'll ask each of you questions after your presentations are done."

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Give your presentation and await a grilling.

"Right, well I was thinking about those diseases you gave us," Shawn said. He frowned then amended with, "uh, the toy ones, y'know." He then talked, for well, not very long about said disgusting ailments and how they're passed on.

After a minute pulled out his laptop. This is Shawn, therefore of course his point is made with music (http://www.com-www.com/weirdal/germs.html). He can't help himself. It's even complete with video (http://youtube.com/watch?v=1GA7L1bddLM). He's not entirely sure he can get credit for listening to far too much music and finding things on the internet, but it's worth a try.

"Weird Al?" Elliot asked. "I liked the video, though. So do you think of germs as kind of alien invaders?"

Setsuna had dusted off her camcorder from this summer and rekindled an old friendship with this assignment. She had entirely forgotten how much she adored filming things. Just give the girl a tripod, a sword, and a good friend who could make walls out of rocks, and you've got yourself a PSA.

That's right, the PSA started with Setsuna and her sword; it went to a wall that Alphonse had constructed, with the words "POOR DIET" on it. Setsuna quickly let out a small cry, initiated an attack, and the wall exploded from her wind techniques. The same happened to walls labeled "NO EXCERSIZE," "DRUGS AND ALCOHOL," "UNPROTECTED SEX," and, finally, "EMO." The PSA ended with the smouldering rubble as Setsuna delivered a dire message about how important it is to fight against bad health, ending with "This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by Setsuna Sakurazaki, Alphonse Elric, and the Shinmei Ryuu."

It ended with another wall explosion. Just for good measure.

Elliot grinned. "Wow, I like the sort of samurai fantasy in those. Can your sword really destroy emo?"

Setsuna considered all the times she'd felt much, much, much better after a good spar or training session.

"Yes," she responded, with a grave nod.

"Excellent," Elliot said.

She would have said more, but she was kind of enjoy9ng the mental image of herself in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon."

JD has completely forgotten about his health presentation, but he has brought Laddie to class with him.

So he puts Laddie up and stage and begins talking anyway.

"I will be talking about the pathology of mycological infection in the deceased canine. Here to help me today is Laddie. Everyone say "Hi Laddie."" JD paused meaningfully, waiting for someone to say hi to his dog.

"Hi, Row-- Laddie," Elliot said. "Your dead dog had a heart attack?"

JD, who is totally winging this, stands tall and points an authoritative finger.

"Yes! Yes he did! So I bring Laddie here as a lesson to all about the necessity of proper exercise and diet!"

His voice becomes as creepy as possible. "BEWARE THE FOLLY THAT HAD TAKEN THE LIFE OF THIS CANINE."

"Which would be ... not obesity," Elliot said. "Poor diet, poor genes, stress? Something else?"

JD scrambled. Very quickly, as indicated by the sudden shifting of his eyes.

"Yes. Not obesity, because Laddie isn't fat." He leaned over, whispering in the dog's ear. "You remember that boy. You're beautiful, just the way you are."

"But, Laddie likely had bad genes, which predisposed him to congential heart difficulties. And he is a dog, so, obviously, he was on a red meat diet high in fat. And he might have had tennis-ball related stress too."

"Catching balls can be incredibly stressful," Elliot said. She could tell JD was winging it, but at least it was entertaining. "Anything else you want to share?"

"I know! Totally! Ahem." JD composed himself.

"So, boys and girls. Take your lesson from Laddie here. Eat well, exercise and stay away from tennis balls and you can avoid an appointment with your local taxedermist."

Jamie pulls out a frying pan and an egg.

He points to the egg. "This is your brain."

Jamie places the egg down on the table and smashes it with the frying pan sending yolk everywhere. "This is your brain on drugs."

He then pulls out a hot dog. "This is your penis."

Jamie then smashes the hot dog with the frying pan. "This is your penis after unprotected sex."

Jamie then pulls out a hot dog with a condom on it. "This is your penis prepared to have protected sex."

Jamie smashes it with a frying pan. "This is what happens when your girlfriend finds out you've had unprotected sex with another person."

Jamie the pulls out two dozen eggs and carefully arranges them on the table. He then goes nuts with the frying pan making a huge mess.

"That was a Dave Matthews concert. Any questions?"

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Health Class, Friday, 11/10

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