School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

The Tick took the stage once the audience was nice and full and smiled. "Crime is a broken drive-up ATM machine. It doesn't pay. Trust me, as a former full-time and current freelance Bank Teller of Justice I know this well. Sure, the ATM is faster when you get it to work, and it's the easier way to make money, but it'll break down, leaving you high and dry. And broke. It's best to park the car, go inside, do things right, and cross that Vestibule of Right because otherwise you're going to end up with nothing in time!"

"Trust me, I've been a superhero long enough, I know what I'm talking about!"

"Today's speakers are criminals who've learned how bad the life can be, who've learned that it's not worth the chance of saving a little bit of time only to end up unable to retrieve your Money from the Bank of Law."

[OOC: Standard assembly stuff. Threads for speakers are marked, please don't comment in those threads until the speaker has, speakers should also ping into the Q&A thread.]

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Re: Speaker 7: Pinky and the Brain

[pinky-n-brain.livejournal.com]

A small white mouse with an overly large cranium climbed nimbly up the stool that had been placed in front of the microphone and cleared his throat. "Greetings students, teachers, and others. I am The Brain. Not Brian. The Brain."

A tall, thin mouse was bouncing around the bottom of the stool, waving a paw. "Me, me, don't forget me."

"I wish I could. And this is Pinky. My…assistant."

Pinky grinned and waved madly, before scurrying off behind the curtain at the back of the stage.

"For those of you who are wondering, yes, I am a genetically altered laboratory mouse who for many years attempted to take over the world."

The curtain behind him slowly began to rise.

"Some of you may be considering a career in global domination. I have chosen to honour you by sharing some of the lessons I've learned, in the hopes that they may guide your future steps."

The curtain had risen far enough that Pinky could be seen, clinging to the bottom of it, waving excitedly.

"You must steel yourself against mawkish sentimentality. You must remain focused on your goal." He paced back and forth across the stool, gesturing emphatically. "You must learn to recognise opportunities when they present themselves. And ignore them," he hastily added. "Yes, ignore them, because taking over the world is wrong."

As it rose higher, a large disc, painted in concentric circles and mounted on a precarious looking wheeled contraption, came into view.

"An amusing clay dog that grows grass? You could use it to create an entirely new planet! A revered president died before sound recordings? You can bring him back to life. Hippies, sumo wrestling, crab meat pancakes, elf distribution, dentures!" He smacked a fist against his palm. "All these opportunities must be disregarded! No matter how tempting they might be."

The curtain rose completely, Pinky leapt to the cord hanging next to the disc, pulling it sharply down, and the disc began to spin (http://www.diamond-jim.com/hypnodisc/). Pinky watched it, bouncing up and down on the cord, giggling with delight

"If you are invited to speak at a gathering of eager young students, just as a random example, you must under no circumstances hyp-- well, if you'd care to direct your attention to the back of the stage, I'm sure you'll find it fascinating."

He turned, pointing at the disc, and saw Pinky. "Pinky, stop it."

"Stop it?"

"Yes, Pinky," he said, turning back to the audience with a weak smile. "Stop it!"

"Really stop it?"

Smile turning into a fixed grin, he muttered, "Don't make me hurt you, Pinky. Now stop it!"

"Okay, Brain, if you say so." He swung behind the disc, there was a loud clunk, and he swung back out, leaping off the cord and landing on the stage steps.

Brain whirled around at the clunk, shouting, "Pinky, no!", but it was too late.

A shower of sparks and the grind of metal gears heralded the disc's escape from its supports. It hit the floor, bounced once, twice, then whirred across the stage, scattering bits of wire, metal, and wood in its wake as it knocked over microphone and stool. Brain went flying into the air only to be snared by the trailing cord and dragged after the disc as the stool ricocheted off the contraption that had held it, knocked it onto its side, then hit the stage and smashed into several pieces.

Luckily, nothing went flying into the audience.

Pinky stared, open mouthed, as Brain and the disc disappeared into the wings. Laughing uncertainly, he crept over to the fallen microphone, said, "Umm…NARF!", and scurried after it.