School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

The Tick took the stage once the audience was nice and full and smiled. "Crime is a broken drive-up ATM machine. It doesn't pay. Trust me, as a former full-time and current freelance Bank Teller of Justice I know this well. Sure, the ATM is faster when you get it to work, and it's the easier way to make money, but it'll break down, leaving you high and dry. And broke. It's best to park the car, go inside, do things right, and cross that Vestibule of Right because otherwise you're going to end up with nothing in time!"

"Trust me, I've been a superhero long enough, I know what I'm talking about!"

"Today's speakers are criminals who've learned how bad the life can be, who've learned that it's not worth the chance of saving a little bit of time only to end up unable to retrieve your Money from the Bank of Law."

[OOC: Standard assembly stuff. Threads for speakers are marked, please don't comment in those threads until the speaker has, speakers should also ping into the Q&A thread.]

Comments

Speaker 5: Deadpool

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Next we have a mercenary who will sell his services to the highest bidder, but at least he does it with a sense of humor. Considering that he's a mercenary, I would imagine he's here to provide a counterpoint. We'll see. Ladies and gentlemen, Deadpool!"

Re: Speaker 5: Deadpool

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

A man in a red and black, well he would call it a ninja suit, but in reality it was more of a uni-tard, come on stage and was unable to stop staring The Tick's chin. "Chin...sweet merciful baby Jesus...worse than the pointy hair..."

"A life of crime is bad because..." He trailed off and spent a few minutes thinking. "Well, there's no health plan. So, if you want to pursue a career as a minion or lackey, make sure to heal really fast. Or abandon your boss when the heroes show up to stop whatever overly elaborate plan they have that week. And there's another downside to the villainy thing, the morality police. Who says that killing people for money isn't a legitimate career choice? I've been hired by several governments who would never condone illegal acts. And we all know that the government is never hypocritical, right boys and girls?" He paused for a second to for a reaction from the audience.

"And where do they get off trying to tell me how to live my life anyway? So I've assassinated a few people, that doesn't make me a bad person. It just means that I occasionally like taking a sniper rifle and shooting people I don't know in the head because a shady agency or criminal mastermind wants them dead and has paid me a lot of money, doesn't mean that I'm not a decent person underneath it all." He paused and stared at the audience. "Okay, so maybe it does."

He coughed once before continuing, "In conclusion! Crime doesn't pay. Except for when it does. Quite handsomely too."