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Intro to 21st Century American Culture - Monday - Period 5

When the students arrive, they see a row of tables along each side of the classroom. The row on the left has a number of telephones and the row on the right has a number of computers.

"Afternoon, everyone," Lorelai said once they'd all arrived and taken their seats. "Today we're going to learn about modern technology. Communication is a very important part of our society and, currently, the most efficient and widely used methods of communication are the telephone and the internet."

She went on to give a brief history of the telephone and the internet.

"Now, half of you can play with the phones and the other half can play with the computers. In twenty minutes, we'll switch, so everyone has a chance to try everything. Marty, Jaye and I will be around to help if you need it. And those of you who have already mastered these skills can offer help as well."

[~~wait for~~ ocd up! Class Info Post]

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Jaye watches for a minute, kind of just enjoying that. "Having fun?" she asks.

"I don't think this thing is workin'."

"You might want to try picking it up and talking into it," she says helpfully. "Just a suggestion."

Pete gave Jaye a look like she just might be crazy, then held the phone up to his mouth. "Hello?"

Hmm, that squawking noise had gotten louder.

"That's good," says Jaye. "But a better greeting is 'What are you wearing?'"

"You're the boss, ma'am," Pete was too distracted by this phone thing to be staring at Jaye's chest.

More's the pity.

"What. Are. You. Wearing?"

Wow, that made the squawking get even louder.

Then there was a long beeping sound.

"See, if you say that right off the bat, it's a lot easier," says Jaye, who is going to hell. "Just try dialing another random number. We'll try it again."

"What do you mean, 'dial'?"

"Well, okay, you see those numbers on the phone? It's like a code you have to enter to talk to someone using this. For instance, if the number is..." And she recites a phone number really really slowly. "Then you dial those numbers into the phone."

Maybe someday Jaye will learn to be nice. That day is not coming for at least, oh, seven years or so.

Pete did as he was told. . . . very slowly and with great effort.

Then he held the phone up to his mouth and said "What are you wearing?"

"Any answer?" she asks really really quietly.

"How the hell am I supposed to tell? There ain't as much squawkin' this time."

"That probably means you got their voicemail," she says, still really quietly. "Then you leave them a message. Sometimes that message is a song, or a limerick, or something like that. Preferably dirty."

"You people have some very strange cultural norms." Pete turned back to the phone. "There once was a girl from Madrass. . . ."

Jaye's just listening and trying really very hard not to giggle. It's mostly working.

"Who had herself a very nice ass. It whuddn't round an' pink, as you might think, but gray, had big ears, and ate grass."

Pete blinked quietly at the phone. "That's a lot faster than morse code."

"And now you hang up," she tells him, still managing not to giggle.

"How do I do that?" Pete stared at the phone.

"The part you're holding? Put that down with the round parts down on this big base part," she says, gesturing towards it.

Pete did so. Cross-ways. The phone made little dootdootdoot noises as he tried to jam it down the way it wasn't supposed to go.

"Turn it the other way."

Pete turned it 180 degrees.

dootdootdootdoot

Whoever he'd called must've been getting an earful.

"Just keep turning it until it fits on the base and the noise stops," says Jaye, figuring he'll get it eventually.

Pete might as well be back to doing morse code, but, well, yes. He did get it eventually.

"And that," says Jaye, "is the phone."

Intro to 21st Century American Culture - Monday - Period 5

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