fandomhigh | How to Win Friends and yadda yadda yadda [8/15]

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How to Win Friends and yadda yadda yadda [8/15]

Cox belts out a sharp peircing whistled and points for everyone to sit down in their seats. When everyone is at least pretending to pay attention, Cox begins his ~~rant~~ lecture.

"If you're like me? Chances are people are going to annoy you with their pesky personal problems that will distract you from your main goal in life. In order to deal with this issue you must learn to look like you care when really you don't.

Method One: Feign interest.
"Gosh Newbie. I never realized how wonderfully boring your life could be. Please tell me in excruiating detail about how your stuffed dog smells like pancakes."

Method Two: Barely acknowledge their existence
*grunt*

Method Three: Find a polite way to get out of the conversation while still making said person think you care about their feelings
"Go away Newbie."

Please pair up with another classmate. One of you will whine and emo about your life and the other will use all three methods outlined for you. Then switch."

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"Let me know if you want me to guide you through it again." Blair winced. "That sucks, man. How are you doing?"

"I'll do that," Tyler promised. "I'm okay. Trying not to think about it." He frowned. "It was the right choice, but I'm not proud of how I ended things."

"How so, man?" Blair asked.

"It was just bad," Tyler said. "Aren't you supposed to pretend not to care?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Blair leaned back in his chair and glared at Tyler.

"Blah blah smells like pancakes." Blair said with a grunt. "Now go away."

"But I want to emo at you," Tyler protested. "It would make me feel so much betetr to talk about myself to someone who obviously doesn't give a crap!"

Blair just grunted. If he happened to grunt in the tune of the emo song he had sung on the roof over the weekend it was purely coincidence.

Tyler tried grunting back at him. Just because.

Blair bounced and grunted in reply. It might have sounded like the start of a knock-knock joke.

Tyler blinked. "Who's there?"

"Nobody who cares about your problems."

Tyler snickered at that. "So what's on your mind, Blair?"

"You know what? I don't have anything important going on." Blair sat back and tapped his pencil on his desk. "I'm currently leading a very boring life."

Tyler leaned forward, feigning rapt interest. "Really? Tell me all about your exciting nights organizing your sock drawer. Please."

Blair grinned and shook his head. "It's summer, man. Who wears socks in the summer? I could tell you about Hank. I think he's getting closer to breaking through the dirt."

"Mmmrph?," Tyler grunted.

"It's getting closer to fall so I think it would be good if Hank would sprout before then. I'm fine with him being a late bloomer and everything, I don't want to force my expectations on him." Blair shook his head sadly. "It's hard being responsible for another life, knowing that your bad attitude could stunt their growth. I wonder if Hank and I should get into counseling."

"Fascinating," Tyler said, reaching into his bag to see if he had anything to read.

"I'm pretty sure Hank is over his sibling rivalry with Abercrombie and Fitch, although it was touch and go for a bit. That's probably why Naomi never let me have pets before, they're a lot of work. Not to mention that with the crowd Naomi ran with, the pigs...uh cops would have assumed that Hank was an entirely different kind of plant." Blair doodled a dancing pot plant on his notebook. "People and their preconceived notions, man."

Tyler just looked at Blair for a moment. "Do you spend a lot of time tallking at people who don't care?" he asked.

"Which is why..." Blair blinked as he realized Tyler had spoken. "You know, I think I do."

"Oh," Tyler said, breaking character. "That actually kind of sucks. Most people just wait for their chance to tallk, I guess."

He thought about telling Blair about support groups, but decided that might seem a little weird.

"It doesn't actually suck that much, man. You'd be surprised how many friends I make that way. I think even Dr. Cox is warming up to me." Blair bounced.

Tyler raised an eyebrow. "Impressive. So you guys are buddies?"

"He probably wouldn't admit it in class, but I think we're pals." Blair nodded and bounced. "The last time we talked we got really close."

Well, Dr. Cox had gotten very close when he screamed at him and sent him to detention.

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

tyler-gone.livejournal.com - 2006-08-15 19:51 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Assignment: [8/15]

lovechildblair.livejournal.com - 2006-08-15 20:04 (UTC) - Expand

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