Monologuing, Dialoguing, and Out-Quipping the Bad Guy (Workshop #2), Main Campfire, Thursday morning

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

"Ah, so I see you managed to find your way here. Didn't know you could find your way out of your cabins without a hand-drawn map and a sherpa. We'd better get started, unless I'm moving too quickly for you. Then again, most garden-variety snails are moving too quickly for you lot."

Ivanova grinned.

"Today's lesson, if you knuckleheads haven't realised, is insults. An insult can range from crude 'yo momma' jibes to the artfully constructed and magnificently delivered poison barbs of Shakespeare. He's not just for crusty academics - the man knew how to cut. Insults can be any length - good insults can be a single word, a phrase, a sentence. Hell, a paragraph if you can keep the attention long enough."

She stood and began to pace almost absently, gesturing with one hand as she talked. "Insults are very tricky things. What may be emotionally devastating for one person can be laughable for another. You have to properly gauge the mood of both yourself and the person whom you are insulting. For example, my older brother Ganya was called 'Jewboy' while walking down the street with a group of his friends one summer, and came home laughing about it." She shrugged. "He was called 'Jewboy' by one of his fellow recruits six months later in the heat of an argument and was almost dishonourably discharged for his behaviour.

"Which brings me to my next point. Topics. A working knowledge of your opponent is best, but a simple visual once-over will do in a pinch. The basic insults are on," she ticked them off on her fingers, "Parentage, race, religion, sexual orientation, physical deformities. In some cases, diseases or conditions can also work.

"And now comes the part of class than can be fun if you let it be fun." Ivanova looked serious. "Each and every one of you is not to take a word that is said from this point on seriously. I want no fights or I will beat your skull in myself, understood?" With a glare around, she relented. "Alright, pair up, one insult at a time, don't talk over each other, try to make each other cry. Before you get started or if you need a break from each other, I'm right here."

[[OCD's a-comin' up. Time to unleash your inner schoolyard bullies. I'll be around intermittantly until around 7EST tomorrow, if you need me for something specific ping me on AIM. I know there's 13 of you, but River's out so it all works. I think. Have fun!]]

Comments

Sign In

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

If you can remember how to spell your name.

Re: Sign In

[threeweapons.livejournal.com]

Alanna Trebond.

Insult Ivanova

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

"I'll start you off - I'm a Jewish Russian lesbian. Hit me."

Re: Insult Ivanova

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"You play hockey like a one-legged Jamaican from the minor leagues!"

Re: Insult Ivanova

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova cracked up.

When she had recovered enough, she nodded seriously before replying. "Well, you would know - I heard you're an expert when it comes to stick-handling. At least I have no illusions about what team I'm playing for."

Re: Insult Ivanova

[connernotconnor.livejournal.com]

Conner scratched his head. "You make a monster created from a purse and spare car parts look like a normal combination!"

Re: Insult Ivanova

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova tilted her head, considering. "Your rhythm's off," she said. "You need to work on making the insult flow. But I like the use of comparison."

Re: Insult Ivanova

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry, but whoever sold that wig to you should be shot. It doesn't even look real."

Re: Insult Ivanova

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova's hand actually twitched towards her hair.

"Unexpected. Probably more effective on a slightly more girly girl than me, but still . . . ow."

Re: Insult Ivanova

[cyclopeanmerc.livejournal.com]

"What kind of combination is that?" Pip said. "You're like a Nazi gentecists' worst nightmare!"

He figured that she was from the future and wouldn't mind the Nazi reference.

_{[[Sorry. All I could think of.]]}

Re: Insult Ivanova

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

"Well, we can't all be rakish French lotharios," Ivanova conceded cheerfully. "But if you're looking for Nazis, you're one megalomaniacal Eastern European country over. Try it again, Pip, I know you have it in you."

Re: Insult Ivanova

[rocketbitch.livejournal.com]

James seemed lost for things to say. After all, when it came to insults, he usually found himself on the short end of the stick, taking the brunt of it (or the brunt of it and a fist) from Jessie and Meowth.

Finally, he patched together something he figred would be fitting, using words he had heard through his illustrious career as a Rocket.

"You're a good-for nothing ignoramus twerp!"

It seemed good enough for him, anyhow.

Re: Insult Ivanova

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova considered it for a while. "Stringing several insults into one phrase is great for emphasis. Plus, you can go on for a while at it. Points for using 'ignoramus', not so many points for 'twerp'." She looked down at herself. She wasn't exactly a wee woman. "Observation is your first effective tool."

Re: Insult Ivanova

[grand-fallguy.livejournal.com]

"No wonder the Banniks came to America."

Re: Insult Ivanova

[electric-sitar.livejournal.com]

"I don't really want to insult you." Demyx shifted a little, shaking his head. "Being stuck in this class is like adding insult to injury anyway."

Re: Insult Ivanova

[ranma-sao.livejournal.com]

"I could have easily guessed with a face like that one." Ranma feels sorta bad about being a jerk. It's part of class though.

Insult Each Other

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

You know you wanna.

Re: Insult Each Other

[cyclopeanmerc.livejournal.com]

Delete
Pip stretched his arms and looked around for people to insult.

_{[[OOC: For anyone wondering, making fun of the eyepatch = okay. Making jokes/insults about how he lost said eye = a good way to be punched in the face.]]}

Re: Insult Each Other

[rocketbitch.livejournal.com]

James looked about, wondering who to pair up with. None of them looked very much like they were "Jessie" calibre, so he felt pretty invincible.

Re: Insult Each Other

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

Peter prepared himself for any onslaught.

Re: Insult Each Other

[electric-sitar.livejournal.com]

Demyx wondered if he should give it a try on other people, but...well, he couldn't help hanging back a little.

Talk to Ivanova

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

She's serious about the fights. No grudges. You. Yes, you. She's watching you.

Re: Talk to Ivanova

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair is hanging out by the campfire, possibly taking notes on the insults.

OOC

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

And I'm spent! Questions, comments, complaints about my overuse of scary icons . . .