Retail 101, Monday morning, All and Sundries

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

All and Sundries is, frankly, a mess. Baldrick moves quietly through the store sweeping and gathering up debris, but it's fairly obvious that there was some sort of ruckus here recently.

Edmund stands by the cash register waiting for the students to all arrive and sign in. Once they are assembled, he begins.



"Retail is often a demeaning and frustrating occupation. Its rewards are few and sometimes subtle. Being overtly insulting is entertaining, but sometimes, hard on one's bones.

"Better is the pleasure of informing your customer that they are a complete blithering idiot and having them thank you for that privilege.

"Baldrick will now assist me with a demonstration."

Baldrick shuffles forward holding a piece of paper in one hand and a shopping bag in the other. He looked at the paper and read stiltedly, "Good. Afternoon. This," he held up the shopping bag, "Hat. Is too. Small?"

Edmund rolled his eyes at Baldrick's recitation but responded. "You do have a very large skull there, don't you, sir? You hearten men everywhere who have ever heard 'size doesn't matter.'" Then he plastered on a smile that would make small children cry while Baldrick gaped like a dehydrating fish and said, "I will exchange your hat right away."

He shooed Baldrick away and turned back to the class. "Obscure. Possibly obtuse. I have insulted Baldrick and he may have even thought I was complimenting him, but I have amused myself and perhaps compensated for the fact that my employer has told me that I'm fired if he hears one more complaint from a customer about my bad attitude.

"Retail, children, is a war - us against them - clerk against customer. They hold the power of the purse, you hold the power of the cash register, the 'we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone' sign, and the key to the store. Never compromise, and never back down.

"Again, I want you to break down into groups. Two groups of two, one group of three. Practice your veiled insults with each other in a clerk/customer setting. I will assist you with object lessons as you progress."

"Your assignment is to insult at least one person this week and have them not catch it. I expect a complete reporting of that in our next session. Failure may at your mun's discretion be rewarded with detention."

[ooc: Break up, chat, insult each other. I'll be along as soon as I can to have Blackadder deliver his critiques, but I'm on PST, so it will be later in the day for the east coasters.]

Comments

Sign in 7/17

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Sign in here in happy collapsingness.

Re: Sign in 7/17

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Zack Addy.

Re: Sign in 7/17

[fates_jaye]

Jaye Tyler

Re: Sign in 7/17

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair Sandburg

Pick a partner, general chatter, etc.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Partner up, wonder wtf Blackadder is talking about. Try to figure out just what his insult for Baldrick meant.

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc.

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Zack started looking for a partner.

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc.

[fates_jaye]

Jaye looks around, and hey, there's a guy. "Hey," she says.

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc.

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Hey," Zack replied, smiling.

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc.

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair bounced and looked around for a partner.

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc.

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"Hey, Blair," Dawn said, smiling at the bouncing, "wanna pair up?"

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc.

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Sure thing, Dawn." Blair looked down at his notes and then back up at Dawn. "Would you rather be insulting clerk or unaware customer?"

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc.

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow took notes and looked for a partner.

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc.

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"Good morning, Willow," Cedric greets. "Would you like to insult me?"

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc.

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow smiled at him. "Good morning, Cedric. As a rule, no, but for the purpose of the class assignment I suppose I could try."

Practicum

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Clerk and customer/s. Returning something? Can't find what you need? My goodness, this shop is a mess, what sort of establishment are you running here?

Ready, set, snark.

Re: Practicum

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Serving wench," Zack affected an arch manner. "I say, where are you plebe?"

Re: Practicum

[fates_jaye]

Jaye stares at him. "Seriously?"

Re: Practicum

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Zack shrugged. "Felt I should give you some good ammunition."

Re: Practicum

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair leaned against the counter and chomped on imaginary gum.

Re: Practicum

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

Dawn grinned cheerfully at Blair. "Hi. Do you work here? I'd like to buy a kumquat."

Re: Practicum

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

Cedric leans on the counter, pretending to be busy staring at the counter.

Re: Practicum

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow attempted to get into the role of an obnoxious customer. This involved tilting her nose up. "Excuse me, I would like to buy something, for I am a customer and I must custom."

OOC

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

It's 3am.

Detention? Bueller? Return of the killer migraine.

Re: OOC

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

When I worked at Blockbuster I once had a customer demand a refund because, ZOMG, the movie they rented had subtitles. I gave them my best sympathy face and said "I totally understand. Reading is hard."

The reply? "Yes! Thank you!"

Re: OOC

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's even worse that the people who were surprised that a film with a non-English title, several "Best Foreign Language" awards on the cover and handwritten "Subtitles" "In 'x'" stickers attached to the case, wasn't in English.