fandomhigh | Sexual Education [07/13]

"Hi," Becky said, eyeing her class as they arrived at the campfire. There were tables scattered about - about large enough for two people to work together at one. "This is Sex Ed. I'm Becky. 'Ms. Vartan' will get you detention. 'Mrs. Bluth' or any variation thereof will get you shot."

"Anyway. Here is where we learn about those things between your legs, and how to use them. I only have one rule: Don't piss me off. You get to figure out what that means all on your own."

"So. First of all, I'd like y'all to fill out the info on those sheets," she said, gesturing to a stack of papers. "'Course, you can choose to leave things blank. I don't care. Just trying to get a feel for who I'm working with. Once you're done with that, we're doing the first of many, many practical lessons. You're going to be in groups of two and one group of three."

She read off the list. "Bridge and Belthazor, Nadia and Lana, Maia and Pip, Dawn and Sam, Phoebe, Blair and Samuel, and Seras and Demyx ~~who were ALWAYS HERE~~. Get behind a table with your partners. If I said your name wrong or you prefer something else, I don't care but you can tell me anyway, I guess."

Becky strode over to a table, upon which were four elongated balloons (the sort used to make balloon animals) filled with...something. The something was made quite obvious as Becky picked up a can of whipped cream and sprayed it into the balloon. She stopped and tied off the balloon so that it was about seven inches long, and filled with enough whipped cream that it was taut, just like the other five balloons.

"Our activity for today," she said as she walked around and set a balloon and a foil-wrapped Trojan Magnum (lubricated and ribbed, for her pleasure!) on each table, "is to get the condom on the balloon. Which seems easy...'cept that there's been a tiny hole pricked in each balloon, in the...head, as it were." Becky snickered. "If you're not gentle, you'll get whipped cream everywhere. Once the condom is on, you can test to make sure you did it right by squeezing the balloon, which is really just like a male climax, though whipped cream, as I've said before, tastes a hell of a lot better. Unless the male in question regularly drinks pineapple juice, or so I've heard."

[ooc: ~~First of all, wait for my OCD threads. OCD is up!~~ I lied, I know I missed at least one person. Secondly, needless to say, this workshop might not be the safest for work. :)

Note on the balloons: they're...to scale. Average size you would expect. And they're filled with enough whipped cream that they're soft but taut enough that they won't, um, lose shape, so to speak. Feel free to mod them as necessary, but keep that pinprick in mind!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"You're a very strange person," Becky said, staring at her.

"They could've broken it!" Willow said, nearly ready to hyperventilate at the thought of it. "Or - or changed my settings!"

"Computers have settings?" There might have been a reason why Jarod did all the computer stuff at the Sin.

Willow nodded frantically. "Sure, you hand it to somebody and they say they'll take good care of it, but before you know it all your icons are in the wrong spots and the fonts are changed and they swear they didn't switch around any colors but the blue doesn't seem to be the right color blue anymore no matter what they tell you."

"...I don't like colors anyway," Becky offered.

Willow looked horrifed at herself. "Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to be offensive or anti-chromatic."

"I don't think that's a word," Becky said thoughtfully.

"Even so," Willow replied.

"Right. Well, I'm not offended, I guess," Becky said, raising a brow.

"I'll try to be more mindful in the future," Willow said. She took a sip of her own coffee. "Anyway, just wanted to give you the update. Thanks so much for the help! I'll let you know how it goes if my friend talks to her guy about the other stuff. Oh!" Willow beamed. "They're guy and girl now. It's official."

"Did they not have genders before?" Becky asked, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"Not officially," Willow said, still beaming.

"Well, I'm glad that they now aren't so confused. Or hermaphrodites, or whatever," Becky said.

"Talking greatly helped the confusion," Willow said. "It was scary and terrifying and fainting was not totally off the menu, but the end results were quite positive and encouraging."

Becky seriously just stared.

Willow was oblivious. "So thanks! I'll let you get back to your teachy things. See you later!"

"Right. Bye," Becky said with a small wave, still blinking in confusion.

Sexual Education [07/13] - Thursday Afternoon

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