fandomhigh | Sexual Education [07/13]

"Hi," Becky said, eyeing her class as they arrived at the campfire. There were tables scattered about - about large enough for two people to work together at one. "This is Sex Ed. I'm Becky. 'Ms. Vartan' will get you detention. 'Mrs. Bluth' or any variation thereof will get you shot."

"Anyway. Here is where we learn about those things between your legs, and how to use them. I only have one rule: Don't piss me off. You get to figure out what that means all on your own."

"So. First of all, I'd like y'all to fill out the info on those sheets," she said, gesturing to a stack of papers. "'Course, you can choose to leave things blank. I don't care. Just trying to get a feel for who I'm working with. Once you're done with that, we're doing the first of many, many practical lessons. You're going to be in groups of two and one group of three."

She read off the list. "Bridge and Belthazor, Nadia and Lana, Maia and Pip, Dawn and Sam, Phoebe, Blair and Samuel, and Seras and Demyx ~~who were ALWAYS HERE~~. Get behind a table with your partners. If I said your name wrong or you prefer something else, I don't care but you can tell me anyway, I guess."

Becky strode over to a table, upon which were four elongated balloons (the sort used to make balloon animals) filled with...something. The something was made quite obvious as Becky picked up a can of whipped cream and sprayed it into the balloon. She stopped and tied off the balloon so that it was about seven inches long, and filled with enough whipped cream that it was taut, just like the other five balloons.

"Our activity for today," she said as she walked around and set a balloon and a foil-wrapped Trojan Magnum (lubricated and ribbed, for her pleasure!) on each table, "is to get the condom on the balloon. Which seems easy...'cept that there's been a tiny hole pricked in each balloon, in the...head, as it were." Becky snickered. "If you're not gentle, you'll get whipped cream everywhere. Once the condom is on, you can test to make sure you did it right by squeezing the balloon, which is really just like a male climax, though whipped cream, as I've said before, tastes a hell of a lot better. Unless the male in question regularly drinks pineapple juice, or so I've heard."

[ooc: ~~First of all, wait for my OCD threads. OCD is up!~~ I lied, I know I missed at least one person. Secondly, needless to say, this workshop might not be the safest for work. :)

Note on the balloons: they're...to scale. Average size you would expect. And they're filled with enough whipped cream that they're soft but taut enough that they won't, um, lose shape, so to speak. Feel free to mod them as necessary, but keep that pinprick in mind!]

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Blair bounced up, smiling. "I noticed your jewelry. I've never seen nun-thing like it." He wondered if just emphasizing the word would be a broad enough hint.

Becky stared at him. "They're just basic crosses and chains," she said slowly. "I got them off a vendor back home."

"Why do you wear them?" Blair asked. "Do they have any special meaning?"

"They're pretty," she said, frowning at him. "That's all."

"Are you a nun?" Blair was never really known for his subtlety.

Becky stared, and seemed to consider something.

"Why would to think that?"

"The fact that the school is letting you teach a workshop. I wondered if maybe you were a nun posing as a...a..." Blair fumbled a little. "Plus, you know, the jewelry."

Becky thought about it for a moment.

She could tell the truth...or let him keep believing that.

She adopted a pious expression and lowered her voice. "Don't tell anyone."

Blair's jaw dropped and he nodded excitedly. "Gotcha. Your secret is safe with me, man."

Becky arched a brow. "Good to hear. It's very important no one knows."

"I understand." Blair lowered his voice to a whisper. "You probably can't turn all the other...um...ladies to the good side if you're found out, right?"

"Oh, exactly," she said, nodding. "I'm trying to get the twins to see the light these days, and there's some progress, but that'll be ruined if anyone finds out."

"Awesome." Blair bounced with a grin. "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I'm not big on the organized religion thing, but I respect what you're trying to do."

"Oh, I'm sure I'll come up with a way for you to help," she promised. "Everyone can have a role in this."

Blair's bouncing increased. "That's so cool! I've never helped save..." He lowered his voice to a whisper, "...hookers before."

"It's a noble cause," Becky said solemnly. "But one I'm sure you'll uphold. Or something."

"Totally, man, totally." Blair grinned. "I'll just get back to my table now."

"You do that." And then Becky wasn't really sure why she said the next thing, but it sounded good. "And bless you."

"Um...thanks. Right back atcha." He wasn't sure if jew's could bless other people, much less nuns; but it seemed like the right thing to do.

Sexual Education [07/13] - Thursday Afternoon

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