Talent Show, Fandom High Auditorium, Friday Afternoon, 07.07.06

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

The all too familiar opening chords of Europe's The Final Countdown sounded and after a short delay for dramatic effect, GOB danced out onto the auditorium stage. He pulled blue and gold handkerchief chains out of both sleeves (which was difficult with a hand still in a cast) until the chains clearly met in the middle underneath his shirt. A large burst of smoke appeared on stage and when it cleared, the handkerchiefs had turned into two cages of doves. One of the doves fell over in the cage, choking on the smoke.

Over the next couple minutes he disappeared cards, linked and unlinked rings, and made his cast say "GO GREMLINS." It was slightly more impressive than should normally be expected from GOB.

When the music wound down, GOB stepped up to the microphone. "Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, and others. Today you will witness the finest example of amateur talent you have ever seen. Unless they suck. If they suck, you should make sure they know they suck. Not just today. Boo them this weekend, too. They'll deserve it for making me a liar."

"Anyway, let's hear it for today's acts!"

[OOC: Wait for OCD is up. Performers, please post in the thread named after you. Mod the Caritas Zombie Band at will. Audience, please stick to the Audience threads. And please don't react until the performer has performed. Everyone can post in the Talk to the Talent thread at the end.]

Comments

Re: Jamie Madrox

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

The lights dim on the stage and a deep voice echoes through Caritas.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. Multiple Madrox productions is happy to present... Oediputz Wrecks"

The lights come up on four Jamies dressed in Greek togas and performing the part of the traditional greek chorus.

Chorus 1: (Singing) Behold the city of Athens!
Chorus 2: (Singing) Where all the citizens are being plagued by disease and hunger and what not.
Chorus 3: (OOC) Guys? I don't think we need to sing the lines because we're in the "Chorus".
Chorus 4: (Singing) Devil in a blue dress! Devil in a blue dress! Devil with a blue dress on!
Chorus 3: Seriously! Guys! We don't sing in a Greek chorus!
Chorus 1: (Singing) Who will save us from these Plagues?
Chorus 2: (Singing) We go to our King Oediputz! He shall save us!
Chorus 3: (Angry) Will you stop singing?!
Chorus 1: (Singing) Behold the King!
Chorus 2: (singing) Oediputz!
Chorus 4: (singing) Trailer for sale or rent! Rooms to let...fifty cents...
Chorus 3: (Still Angry) Oh shut up.

Another Jamie walks out dressed in a toga but with bottle cap glasses and talks in a very nasally tone.

Oediputz: Hey, what's with all the singing out here? I was trying to sleep!

Chorus 1: (Singing) Oh great king! Our kingdom is under a plague!
Chorus 2: (Singing) We are being cursed by the Gods for some terrible unpunished crime!
Chorus 4: (Singing) I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. When I hear that whistle blowin' I hang my head and cry.

Oediputz: Oh how horrible! As King I promise to find the culprit and throw him in jail. Even if it means I did it somehow and end up poking my eyes out with hat pins or something gross like that.

Chorus 3: (Sarcastic) Yeah. You're going to regret saying that.
Chorus 4: (Singing) She's got Bette Davis eyes!

Chorus 1: Behold! Your advisor approaches.

(Yet another Jamie approaches)

Creon: My King! I bear good news!

Oediputz: Hello Crayon!

Creon: It's Creon.

Oediputz: That's what I said. Crayon.

Creon: (Sighs) My lord. We have heard from the Oracle of Delphi. He says that the crime in question was the murder of the previous king who's wife you have married.

Chorus 4: (Singing) Here comes the bride! All dressed in-
Chorus 3: Really. You must shut up.

(Another Jamie walks out wearing a toga and a blonde wig and a bra stuffed with grapefruits to simulate fake boobs. He's definitely not happy about being dressed as a girl)

Jocasta: (Monotone) My husband. What news.

Oediputz: Hey Josephine.

Jocasta: (pissed) It's Jocasta.

Oediputz: Whatever Josie and the pussycats. I'm on the hunt for a Murderer! (Wiggles Fingers)

Chorus 4: (Singing) What's up pussycat! Whoooooa - Oh - Whoooo-oooa!

Creon: We have sent for a witness to this horrible crime! A Shepherd!

Jocasta: (Monotone) Husband. I beg you. Leave this crime in the past so no one will know of what's probably a horrible secret of incest, patricide and additional squick.

Oediputz: No my dear Joanna-

Jocasta: (Breaking character) Look! I'm not doing this if you can even get my name right!

Chorus 4: (Singing) What's my name?! Little Girl! What's my Name?!

(Jocasta turns and decks the Chorus member who multiplies and then tackle Jocasta)

Chorus 3: Told you that you should stop singing.

(The other two chorus members get sick of #3 and tackle him to the ground where they start pummeling him. Creon somehow gets dragged into the fight. A frustrated Jamie dressed as a shepherd walks out.)

Shepherd: Oh for the love of God. (Points at Oediputz) You. You killed your Father and slept with your mother you sick pervert.

Oediputz: Hey! You're cutting out a whole portion of the script! I still have to go on and on about finding the killer and whatnot! Dude! You totally harshed my irony!

Shepherd: Oh blow it out your ass. The whole thing is ruined.

Oediputz: That's it! I'm tearing you more assholes than an Abalone!

Shepherd: Bring it Bitch!

(The whole cast begins beating the crap out of each other resulting in a big monkey pile of Jamies hammering on each other. Tino decides that the play is over and closes the curtain)