How to Be an Entertainer Workshop #6, Caritas, 06.28.06, Afternoon

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

"Lounge singing is an important form of entertainment. It's where cheesy singers go to die over the course of forty years," GOB said as soon as everyone was in Caritas. "The great thing about lounge singing is that it doesn't matter what piece of crap music you pick up or what genre it is - rock, rap, country, polka - all you have to do is give it a certain bit of smarm charm and you've got yourself a lounge hit."

"A good lounge performance requires three things: first, a slightly hacky piano player. The drummer from the Zombie Band will be playing piano for us. Second, you need a conversational tone. Talk to the people in the audience between lines in the song. Maybe joke and laugh a little. Show as much charm as you can, even if it is greasy. Third, you need a drink in whatever hand you're not holding the microphone in. Getting sloshed helps with the charm thing."

"After today, you'll all be prepared to sing in crap restaurants that think they're better than they are, wedding receptions, and airports. Let's have some fun."

[OOC: Going up now before sleep for I am awake and stuff. Even though I may not sound it. Students get one free drink in the sign up thread. The bar is closed aside from that. No second helpings.]

Comments

Re: The Stage [WS6]

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

Greg murmured the name of the song to the zombie pianist, and added, slightly louder, "It is not a chick song, shut up!"

"Now it seems to me
That you know just what to say
But words are only words
Can you show me something else?

We all know what that means, huh? I'm all in favor of actions speaking louder than words. Especially if the actions involve stripping.

Can you swear to me
That you’ll always be this way?
Show me how you feel
More than ever, baby

I don’t wanna be lonely no more

...and the bad grammar is irrelevant,

I don’t wanna have to pay for this
I don’t want to know the lover at my door
It’s just another heartache on my list.

Heartache, one-night stand, whatever.

I don’t wanna be angry no more
You do know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure
I don’t wanna be lonely anymore

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Now it’s hard for me
When my heart’s still on the mend
Open up to me
Like you do your girlfriends

Which is really something I'd be interested in seeing, too. Pillow fights and negligées, anyone?

And you sing to me and it’s harmony
Girl, what you do to me is everything
Make me say anything just to get you back again
Why can’t we just try?

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh..."

Greg took the opportunity of the second chorus to attempt to lie on the piano.

He fell off it halfway through, so he decided just to sit on the edge of the stage. "Meant to do that!" he called.

"What if I was good to you?
What if you were good to me?
What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me?

That's not quite my thing, but more power to you and your kinks, Mr. Rob Thomas.

What if it was paradise?
What if we were symphonies?
What if I gave all my life
To find some way to stand beside you?

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

I don’t wanna be lonely anymore
I don’t wanna be lonely no more
I don’t wanna be lonely no more
I don’t wanna be lonely anymore...."

Greg gave a smirk and a bow before leaping off the stage and spilling his drink, woe.

And then he sat down before he could spaz out more.

Re: The Stage [WS6]

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

"Not bad at all, Dorkface," GOB said. "Wait, after that, you need a new name. Not bad, Chick Song!"

Re: The Stage [WS6]

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

"It's not a chick song!" Greg protested. "Rob Thomas is a manly man!"

Re: The Stage [WS6]

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

"Hey, he gets the chicks, I'm not denying that," GOB said. "But he gets them by singing chick songs."