fandomhigh | Documentaries 101 (Workshop #4)

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Documentaries 101 (Workshop #4) - A/V Room, Tuesday Morning

Back in the A/V room for today, Jay was once being vaguely obscene in the back of the room with some spools of wire. Silent Bob was loftily ignoring him. He had his whiteboard back, but before going on with the teaching he held up a calendar. And because it was Jay and Silent Bob, it was the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition calendar, which Bob hurriedly realised and flipped the picture down. He pointed at today's date, then counted down the remaining weeks to July 11, which was circled in bright red. He then wrote on the board,

SHOWCASE!
Invite your friends. We'll bring popcorn.

Calendar set to the side - and then hurriedly snatched up by Jay, who was rapidly getting bored of this whole teaching thing - Silent Bob got down to business. The topic of the day was,

INTERVIEWS

And he proceeded to give them several tips on how to write and take an effective interview.

- research background info first (name, birthday, major accomplishments, place of birth, family)
- prepare list of questions BUT
- have alternate questions ready
- go with the flow

This last one punctuated with a laidback arm wiggle.

- have an angle

For this, Bob shrugged and held out a hand level before tilting it back and forth in the internationally recognised symbol for 'Eh, not really important' or 'He's gay'. The TV and a clip of Fahrenheit 911 provided the perfect example of an interview with an angle.

Giving the girls enough time to get these points locked away or written down, depending on how keen they are, he wrote up,

YOUR DOCUMENTARY: Min. 3 interviews!

Silent Bob pointed at himself three times and shook his head. Then pointed at each of the three girls and gave a thumbs up. Three different people.

Can be conducted in person, by phone, or by

Here he had to check on something in his notebook and took a moment to spell it. What the fuck is the internet?

e-mail.

Silent Bob stood back, satisfied. He moved two chairs behind a table at the front, then smacked Jay on the shoulder to get his attention.

"What the hell do you want, tubby?" Jay grumbled, then looked. "Oh, right." He nodded, intent. "Let's do this shit." And then in unison, Jay and Silent Bob sat down and waited expectantly for their first interview.

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Ask us anything! You may be kinda scared by the answers, though.

Pippi flounced over with her camera.

"Hi!"

Bob waved a cheerful greeting, while Jay slouched back in his seat and jerked his chin at her. "Yo."

"My documentary is about the animals that live on the island." she said, "How often do you find yourself in contact with animals here on the island?"

Jay and Silent Bob looked at each other. Then Silent Bob leaned forward. "Given that we operate in a primarily urban residential area, like the Kwik Stop, we don't have much occasion to come in contact with animals other than the occasional squirrel or housepet. Unless, of course, you're counting the students themselves." This said with a grin.

"Yeah, and that freaky little talking cat in the tophat and suit," Jay put in helpfully.

"Have you ever noticed anything interesting about the squirrels that you see in your day to day business?"

Again with the exchanged look before Jay answered.

"One tried to buy a dime bag off us. Little fucker couldn't pay so I kicked his furry ass to the curb."

Silent Bob just rolled his eyes.

Pippi nodded thoughtfully and made a note in her notebook.

"And you never saw that particular squirrel again?"

Both boys shook their heads.

"And that's the sum total of your experience with the fauna of the island?"

They nodded.

Jay shrugged. "Yeah. Like Lunchbox said, we don't get out much."

"Your questions don't have to be limited to the topic of your documentary," Strangely Verbose Bob put in. "If you would like the practice."

"Okay... Tell me something about yourself Jay." Pippi asked.

"I masturbate more than anybody else in the world."

Pippi is still smiling but seems unimpressed.

"Okay, now tell us something that isn't so obvious."

"When he does it he thinks about guys," Silent Bob added mildly, which earned him a punch across the jaw.

Well, it would have been a punch if Bob hadn't been expecting it and easily caught the fist before it hit.

"I thought I asked for something that wasn't obvious..." Pippi said as seriously as she could manage.

"Hey! Fuck that! I'll -" Jay cast around for something he could do. "- give you detention! Yo, lunchbox, we can give out detentions, right?"

Silent Bob didn't answer. He was too busy laughing. Silently, of course. He held out a hand for a high-five.

Pippi has also lost it but she does not leave Bob hanging.

Jay stormed off as Silent Bob regained his voice, still chuckling a bit. "Good job, Pippi. Anything else?"

Pippi stops laughing and settles back in her chair.

"How do you feel about subtitles?" she asked. "And do we have the technology to add them?"

Bob nodded. "If you feel they're needed. And yes, we'll spend a couple of weeks on editing and you can work them out then."

"Yes," Pippi nodded. "I'm pretty sure subtitles will be needed."

Sakurazaki seems to go through an extensive process of trying to set the camera a certain way, clearly already trying to work on that new angle thing, before she sits down. Nervous little smile, hands in lap.

"Ready?" she asks; it appears that she's worked on an "interview" voice that, although it comes out slow because she has to think about it for a moment, nearly gets rid of her accent. Nearly.

Silent Bob gave her an encouraging smile and a nod. Jay just scoffed. "Yeah, whatever." That earned him a glare from Bob.

"Um, okay..." There is a slightly arched eyebrow before she continues on, still pretty nervous. "My documentary is going to be about people and weapons, so the first question is going to be if you have any signficant training in handling any particular weapons."

"Fuck yeah, we can -"

Silent Bob cut him off by leaning forward and actually speaking. "While it isn't immediately apparent that I and my more verbose companion would be trained in anything except high-grade lurking, we are both trained in the art of swordfighting."

Sakurazaki's entire attitude completely changed from dreadfully nervous to incredibly thrilled. And surprised. "Really? That's amazing." Especially since now she might actually have some material instead of a wasted use of time and film. And it made her questions easier too. "How long have each of you been training? Any particular styles?"

"The style of kicking your ass!" Jay crowed, while Bob just shook his head and answered her questions.

"No particular style. While I say 'trained', it's a knowledge that comes more from obsessive watching of martial arts movies and the space battles trilogy, though they have proven effective against rent-a-cops and overpaid actors."

Another arched eyebrow for Jay. Somehow, she was pretty sure that Shinmei Ryuu ranked above that style as far as effectiveness goes, but an interview was an inappropriate place for a challenge. He was lucky. This time.

"That's a very unconventional type of training," she comments. "And pretty unconventional enemies as well, although I suppose the forces of evil must be fought everywhere, in many forms. So, no particular weapons? Just whatever's necissary to get the job done?"

Yay, another one. Jay was starting a collection. ~~Even if the mun started imagining an Ultimate Showdown in the park.~~

Silent Bob nodded in response to her question.

Hmm...Sakurazaki thinks for a moment, consulting her notes briefly.

"Any particularly noteable or strange weapons?"

Considering the source of their training, there's got to be a good answer for this one.

"Fuck yeah -"

Bob cut him off before there was any more gratuitous profanity. "We fought with oversized movie props intended to look like the lightsabers of the Space Battles trilogy. With a marijauna-culture twist, of course."

Her head tilts a little. "I don't quite follow," she admits, "but I have a feeling we might just want to leave that for the research. Unless you wish to elaborate." She makes her interview voice seem encouraging there, because, yeah. Feeling kind of clueless.

That got her an encouraging smile from Bob. "Good job, Sakurazaki." He didn't even stumble over her name. "Always ask open-ended questions or ask for elaboration. It may turn the interview in a completely new direction or open up the way for some more questions you hadn't thought of."

He leaned back, considering her question. "I suppose it's hard to describe, precisely. Basically swords which were intended to resemble bongs."

Her shoulders straighten and she smiles a bit proudly at the seemingly random compliment. She scribbles down the word 'bong' for future research.

"I think I'm almost done with what I'd like to ask," she says. "But, first, have you ever named one of your weapons? If so, what was it, was it merely on whim, or was there something more meaningful to it?"

Silent Bob just shook his head. "Never had one for long enough." Well, unless you count his utility belt. But that wasn't really a weapon.

Ooh, that would be good for her thesis. Smiling, she nods. "Okay, that's it, then. Thank you very much, Bob-sensei." She nods to him and, hesitantly, nods to the other one as well. "Jay-sensei."

"You're -" Bob began with a smile, then elbowed Jay, who grudgingly joined in on the, "Welcome."

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Documentaries 101 (Workshop #4) - A/V Room, Tuesday Morning

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