fandomhigh | Diplomacy, Tuesday, September 23, 2025 [2nd period]

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Diplomacy, Tuesday, September 23, 2025 [2nd period]

"There are holidays approaching that promote time with extended family," Anakin began from where they were all seated around an ornate dining table where an older woman and man also sat, dressed up. "These are my in-laws," Anakin explained. "Well, copies of them. I didn't kidnap them from Connecticut and make them attend class today. They are a very particular type of relative, though: the sort that will deliberately misunderstand everything you say."

As if to prove Anakin's point, the woman looked deeply insulted. "It's fine that our son-in-law doesn't want to spend time with us."

"Exactly," Anakin said, with an "I told you" expression to the rest of the class. "But dumping cranberry sauce on her head and stomping off, however momentarily satisfying, doesn't actually fix a long-term problem. I will have to see her next Thanksgiving, too. And the one after that."

"No need to sound so excited about that."

Ahsoka, who had been watching all this with great amusement, cleared her throat. "Situations like these require a delicate touch," she said. "Calling out such behaviour will likely make it worse, with them viewing it as an attack. But going along to get along runs the risk of using all your emotional energy to soothe theirs, because you will never be able to abase yourself enough to avoid their bad faith."

"And that just ruins the pie," Anakin said, nodding. "So today we will practice disengaging."

"Thy will be looking for a response," Ahsoka told them "So do your best not to give them one."

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Like you're about to deal with Emily Gilmore.

Lydia Bennet

James Flint

Billie Logan

Emily is definitely giving all of you the stink-eye.

Oh, please. Lydia was related to her mother, Mr. Collins, and, by marriage, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised her, Anakin's mother-in-law.

Edited 2025-09-23 15:14 (UTC)

Well, Flint had dealt with his share of tableside verbal battles and at least no one here was wearing a horrifying wig.

Flint was focusing on that and not on how he'd thrown Lord Alfred Hamilton out of his own home. (Even though he'd completely deserved it.)

Edited 2025-09-23 15:24 (UTC)

Billie's grandfather thought she and her father were both useless layabouts (until he got sent to Hell after being murdered by a time traveling robot, anyway). She knew how to handle tough relatives!

Actually, speaking of. Anakin seemed like exactly the sort who would have access to a time traveling robot.

Don't engage, don't engage, don't engage...

But if Lydia didn't engage, how would she keep notice from falling upon the more vulnerable members of the party?

Anakin passed Lydia the basket of rolls.

"That's fine," Emily commented with a too-tight smile. "I didn't need those."

"Well, that's all right, then," Lydia said, smiling brightly, and passed the rolls to someone else. Perhaps Captain Flint. Definitely not Emily, since she'd just said she didn't need them.

Flint was glad to take the rolls and clearly tick off a little old lady. "Thank you, Miss Bennet," he said, turning his British accent up to eleven. "I definitely did need these."

Maybe Anakin would have done better if he'd sounded British, like the rest of the Empire.

"Do you know, I believe my Uncle Phillips may turn off his manservant soon," Lydia, who had been taught to keep to conversation on topics of general interest in such cases, said to the table as she buttered her roll.

Well, it was of general interest to her.

"What will he do instead?" Flint, who had never had a manservant in his life, asked.

Billie dug into her cargo pockets for a bit, then came up with her secret weapon for family gatherings:

Her sunglasses.

She was too cool for you, Gilmores. Deal with that.

"Oh, I do apologize," Emily said, saccharine solicitous, "I didn't realize your eyes were so sensitive."

Anakin stuck too big a bite of bread into his mouth.

Billie bobbed her head. In agreement? Just while listening to the music in her own head?

Emily would not know.

"No need to apologize," she said. "But thank you."

Emily seethed. Politely.

Anakin winked at Billie.

Billie -- just -- managed to hold back a bright grin at that sign of approval.

And maybe Richard. But not Emily.

"Have you tried a judicious application of time traveling robots?" Billie asked. "That's how we got my granddad to finally apologize for always wanting to send Dad to a military school."

"I have not tried time traveling robots," Anakin admitted. "So you recommend it?"

"It worked really well on my grandfather," Billie said. She tilted her head thoughtfully. "Admittedly it might help if you know Death personally. Not sure we would have gotten out of Hell so quickly otherwise."

They might have had to stay down there a whole half-an-hour, maybe.

"I went to high school with Death," Anakin said. "Well, a Death."

Very normal thing to say!

Billie nodded like that was a perfectly normal thing to say, yes. "I hear she's a girl in some universes. Most excellent. In mine, he is a bass player of unparalleled skill."

Edited 2025-09-23 20:17 (UTC)

"Nice," Anakin said. "This one was male and a passionate choreographer." He tilted his head. "I think he was up for Homecoming King?"

"Ooooo." Billie nodded. "I wonder if they ever all get together. Have a big Death Party or something."

Don't give the island ideas, Billie.

"I'm not sure if I'm comforted or concerned about that idea," Anakin said.

"That is a most challenging conundrum indeed," Billie agreed seriously.

Then. . . .

"I wonder if they all have musical talents like bass playing or choreography."

"I think they'd have to be a little artistic," Anakin said.

“They do have a most existential view of the world,” Billie noted. “Which many find to be inspiring for artistic endeavors.” She shrugged. “Plus, I know my Death thinks the afterlife is deeply bogus.”

That word, combined with thinking way back to his high school days, tickled something in the back of Anakin's mind. "Bogus?" he repeated.

Billie nodded. “It means ‘false’, but is also colloquially used as a broad, negative descriptor.”

She beamed.

"Huh," Anakin replied intelligently. "I've heard it before but a long time ago."

"Oh, it is most old-fashoned," Billie admitted. "But my dad and my uncle use it all the time, so it has slipped into my vocabulary as well."

Do you see the resemblance yet, Anakin? Billie is very much her father's daughter.

"Sithspit."

At least he figured it out before Parents Weekend?

"Are you Professor Logan's child?"

“. . . I’m Ted ‘Theodore’ Logan’s daughter?” Billie offered. “If he was a professor, I am most unaware, but as with our discussion about various Deaths, I cannot discount that in some timeline he did teach here.”

"He taught music and adopted a miniature giraffe named Earl," Anakin said, "if that sounds right."

“Definitely!” Billie said. “Especially the music part. His band was destined to unite our world, you know!”

"That doesn't surprise me," Anakin said with a smile.

“He is an extremely talented musician.”

That probably wasn’t what Anakin meant, Billie.

La.

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Diplomacy, Tuesday, September 23, 2025 [2nd period]

Sign in 9/23

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Listen to Lecture

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Learn How to Gray Rock!

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Talk to Anakin & Ahsoka

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OOC