Navaan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doesdoctorstuff) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2024-07-12 02:45 am
doesdoctorstuff) wrote in fandomhigh2024-07-12 02:45 am
Entry tags:
Romancing For Dummies, Period 1
For once, Navaan was neither passed out on her desk when class filed in or suffering from a misery of a hangover. On the other hand, that meant she was prepared for class, which, for some reason, involved a great many moddable craft supplies, including whole swathes of fabric, scissors, sewing machines, cardboard, markers, and, of course, glitter. So, so, much glitter. The glitter was never coming out, sorry folks. It was like the unholy love child of a JoAnn Fabrics and a Michaels that then got drunk of Goldschlager.
By the time class was done, you might be wishing that she'd just rolled in drunk.
"Welcome to Romancing for Dummies," she said brightly. "So, you poor, lonely saps have been looking at your love lives lately, realized that it was a howling, desolate wasteland of emptiness, and decided to get off your asses and change that. Good for you! Good job showing initiative! I mean, you've all still got a whole long way to go, look at yourselves, but this is a step in the right direction. Now, of course, romance is hard and boring and you'll probably be happier skipping out on that and going for a lifetime of casual sex and drug use, but I dunno, some of you got that romantic type look about you that says you actually want, like, emotions. Which probably means you're still a virgin because orgasms feel better than love any day--" Or so she was assuming, who knew? "--but that's between you and your whoever or whatever. God, partner, partners, sentient right hand, whatever.
"Anyway, I'm a doctor, which means I have a lot of practice seducing secrets out of people, because that's what doctors do." Obviously. Keep up, class. "And I explained to my little guys who were helping me, when it comes to seduction, you can't just give them what they think they want. Why not? Because that's not seduction. That's romance. Probably. Seducing involves keeping your target intrigued, surprised, and a little bit afraid. But what they both have in common?"
She paused for dramatic effect. Don't worry class, you had no way of guessing what she was about to say nextunless you'd read the comic. But duh. That was why she was teaching this class and you weren't.
"That's right! Costumes! Seduction costumes are sexy, but also a little bit menacing, but also inviting. Romancing costumes are also sexy, so you can get past the mushy feelings stuff to flanging faster, but actually in tune with what the other person wants. So you're gonna have to think. What does whoever you're trying to romance like? What do they find sexy? What do they want? In what ways can I flaunt myself like a weird bird or whatever that does weird dances like on the nature documentary I watched with John last night after Arthur fell asleep? So that's what we're doing today, folks! You're gonna settle in and make yourself a good romancing costume and introduce yourself in it and then I'm going to critique it and explain why you're probably never gonna find anybody if that's what your taste is like!"
She gestured to the mounds of supplies. "Okay! Get at it! Show me your romantic prowess through the medium of costume!"
By the time class was done, you might be wishing that she'd just rolled in drunk.
"Welcome to Romancing for Dummies," she said brightly. "So, you poor, lonely saps have been looking at your love lives lately, realized that it was a howling, desolate wasteland of emptiness, and decided to get off your asses and change that. Good for you! Good job showing initiative! I mean, you've all still got a whole long way to go, look at yourselves, but this is a step in the right direction. Now, of course, romance is hard and boring and you'll probably be happier skipping out on that and going for a lifetime of casual sex and drug use, but I dunno, some of you got that romantic type look about you that says you actually want, like, emotions. Which probably means you're still a virgin because orgasms feel better than love any day--" Or so she was assuming, who knew? "--but that's between you and your whoever or whatever. God, partner, partners, sentient right hand, whatever.
"Anyway, I'm a doctor, which means I have a lot of practice seducing secrets out of people, because that's what doctors do." Obviously. Keep up, class. "And I explained to my little guys who were helping me, when it comes to seduction, you can't just give them what they think they want. Why not? Because that's not seduction. That's romance. Probably. Seducing involves keeping your target intrigued, surprised, and a little bit afraid. But what they both have in common?"
She paused for dramatic effect. Don't worry class, you had no way of guessing what she was about to say next
"That's right! Costumes! Seduction costumes are sexy, but also a little bit menacing, but also inviting. Romancing costumes are also sexy, so you can get past the mushy feelings stuff to flanging faster, but actually in tune with what the other person wants. So you're gonna have to think. What does whoever you're trying to romance like? What do they find sexy? What do they want? In what ways can I flaunt myself like a weird bird or whatever that does weird dances like on the nature documentary I watched with John last night after Arthur fell asleep? So that's what we're doing today, folks! You're gonna settle in and make yourself a good romancing costume and introduce yourself in it and then I'm going to critique it and explain why you're probably never gonna find anybody if that's what your taste is like!"
She gestured to the mounds of supplies. "Okay! Get at it! Show me your romantic prowess through the medium of costume!"
Re: Presentation and Introduction
“I was feeling insecure,” Kamala said after a groan of frustration.