Liliana Vess (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deathsmajesty) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2024-01-11 08:17 am
deathsmajesty) wrote in fandomhigh2024-01-11 08:17 am
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Necromancers Guide to the Undead, Monday, Period 1
First period was an offensive time to have class and yet, here she was, leaning against her desk, clutching her precious cup of coffee as if it were the only thing keeping her going.
Quite possibly because it was the only thing keeping her going. Mornings were a curse even on normal days. Today...well, she wasn't going to think about anything but her class this morning. She was especially going to ignore the petulant rumble of her stomach, thank you. Sure, she'd skipped breakfast this morning for...reasons...but she'd been skipping meals for two hundred years. There was no excuse for this kind of behavior, stomach. She was just going to drink more coffee and ignore it while her students filed in.
"Good morning," she said brusquely, as soon as the bell rang. "Welcome to Necromancer's Guide to the Undead. I am your professor, Liliana Vess, and I am the necromancer in question. I have been studying necromancy for over a hundred and seventy-five years, as well as receiving my degree from the College of Witherbloom at Strixhaven University, with a Dreadbones major focus and a Bleed Doctor minor focus, all of which adds up to saying that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to the various necromantic arts and the taxonomy of the undead. Now, the required caveats of the class."
"The first and foremost is, of course, that while all of the information I will be providing you is true in my Multiverse, no guarantees can be made for how things work in yours." And if you thought that Liliana was aggrieved about that, you were entirely correct. "For all I know, one of you may come from a dimension where the undead are created and controlled by the healing powers of hugs. That has nothing to do with the veracity of my information, simply the absurdity of your reality. Secondly, this is a purely informational course. I am teaching you about these creatures, yes, but in no way is this a class focused on how to create or control them. If that's what you were hoping to get out of this class, you should have read the summary more closely - that being said, if you're interested in pursuing necromancy as a calling, I commend your life choices and feel free to see me after class to discuss this further. And finally, this is not a debate class. I don't actually care about your opinions on the morals and ethics of the creation of the undead - Ethics was offered last semester and if you missed out, that's your burden to bear. If I believe a discussion of ethics is valid for whatever lesson we're discussing at the time, I'll ask you to share your opinion. Otherwise, assume I'm not interested. If you decide to bore me with your ethical pontifications anyway, I will indulge you only so long as I have the patience for nonsense - and, as I am most emphatically not a morning person, it will not be a particularly long time - and then I will toss you out of class in your ear so the rest of the class can get back to learning."
The door was over there, folks. Feel free to use it now if you didn't like any of the above.
"Now then, I've since learned that I'm expected to give over a full class period to introductions, rather than just getting right in to teaching--" Yes, she looked aggrieved about that, too. Look, aggrieved was clearly the emotion of the day. Seventeen classes was already barely enough time for a survey course, and here she was, losing one to introductions. "--so let's begin with your name, the reason you signed up for this class - if you're here by mistake, take a moment to come up with at least a semi-plausible lie - and what, if any, knowledge or experience with undead you already have. If you have none...suggest to me your favorite piece of media involving the undead. It will give me a chance to see what nonsense I'm up against."
Quite possibly because it was the only thing keeping her going. Mornings were a curse even on normal days. Today...well, she wasn't going to think about anything but her class this morning. She was especially going to ignore the petulant rumble of her stomach, thank you. Sure, she'd skipped breakfast this morning for...reasons...but she'd been skipping meals for two hundred years. There was no excuse for this kind of behavior, stomach. She was just going to drink more coffee and ignore it while her students filed in.
"Good morning," she said brusquely, as soon as the bell rang. "Welcome to Necromancer's Guide to the Undead. I am your professor, Liliana Vess, and I am the necromancer in question. I have been studying necromancy for over a hundred and seventy-five years, as well as receiving my degree from the College of Witherbloom at Strixhaven University, with a Dreadbones major focus and a Bleed Doctor minor focus, all of which adds up to saying that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to the various necromantic arts and the taxonomy of the undead. Now, the required caveats of the class."
"The first and foremost is, of course, that while all of the information I will be providing you is true in my Multiverse, no guarantees can be made for how things work in yours." And if you thought that Liliana was aggrieved about that, you were entirely correct. "For all I know, one of you may come from a dimension where the undead are created and controlled by the healing powers of hugs. That has nothing to do with the veracity of my information, simply the absurdity of your reality. Secondly, this is a purely informational course. I am teaching you about these creatures, yes, but in no way is this a class focused on how to create or control them. If that's what you were hoping to get out of this class, you should have read the summary more closely - that being said, if you're interested in pursuing necromancy as a calling, I commend your life choices and feel free to see me after class to discuss this further. And finally, this is not a debate class. I don't actually care about your opinions on the morals and ethics of the creation of the undead - Ethics was offered last semester and if you missed out, that's your burden to bear. If I believe a discussion of ethics is valid for whatever lesson we're discussing at the time, I'll ask you to share your opinion. Otherwise, assume I'm not interested. If you decide to bore me with your ethical pontifications anyway, I will indulge you only so long as I have the patience for nonsense - and, as I am most emphatically not a morning person, it will not be a particularly long time - and then I will toss you out of class in your ear so the rest of the class can get back to learning."
The door was over there, folks. Feel free to use it now if you didn't like any of the above.
"Now then, I've since learned that I'm expected to give over a full class period to introductions, rather than just getting right in to teaching--" Yes, she looked aggrieved about that, too. Look, aggrieved was clearly the emotion of the day. Seventeen classes was already barely enough time for a survey course, and here she was, losing one to introductions. "--so let's begin with your name, the reason you signed up for this class - if you're here by mistake, take a moment to come up with at least a semi-plausible lie - and what, if any, knowledge or experience with undead you already have. If you have none...suggest to me your favorite piece of media involving the undead. It will give me a chance to see what nonsense I'm up against."
Re: Introductions
Re: Introductions
And no, she didn't miss being the former at all, shut up.
"All vampires I have ever met fall into the latter category." And then amended, "At least, now they do."
Since Sorin had gotten Mended right along with her, and now had to rely on his vampiric immortality instead of the vastly preferable Planeswalker variety.
Re: Introductions