Necromancers Guide to the Undead, Monday, Period 1

[deathsmajesty]

First period was an offensive time to have class and yet, here she was, leaning against her desk, clutching her precious cup of coffee as if it were the only thing keeping her going.

Quite possibly because it was the only thing keeping her going. Mornings were a curse even on normal days. Today...well, she wasn't going to think about anything but her class this morning. She was especially going to ignore the petulant rumble of her stomach, thank you. Sure, she'd skipped breakfast this morning for...reasons...but she'd been skipping meals for two hundred years. There was no excuse for this kind of behavior, stomach. She was just going to drink more coffee and ignore it while her students filed in.

"Good morning," she said brusquely, as soon as the bell rang. "Welcome to Necromancer's Guide to the Undead. I am your professor, Liliana Vess, and I am the necromancer in question. I have been studying necromancy for over a hundred and seventy-five years, as well as receiving my degree from the College of Witherbloom at Strixhaven University, with a Dreadbones major focus and a Bleed Doctor minor focus, all of which adds up to saying that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to the various necromantic arts and the taxonomy of the undead. Now, the required caveats of the class."

"The first and foremost is, of course, that while all of the information I will be providing you is true in my Multiverse, no guarantees can be made for how things work in yours." And if you thought that Liliana was aggrieved about that, you were entirely correct. "For all I know, one of you may come from a dimension where the undead are created and controlled by the healing powers of hugs. That has nothing to do with the veracity of my information, simply the absurdity of your reality. Secondly, this is a purely informational course. I am teaching you about these creatures, yes, but in no way is this a class focused on how to create or control them. If that's what you were hoping to get out of this class, you should have read the summary more closely - that being said, if you're interested in pursuing necromancy as a calling, I commend your life choices and feel free to see me after class to discuss this further. And finally, this is not a debate class. I don't actually care about your opinions on the morals and ethics of the creation of the undead - Ethics was offered last semester and if you missed out, that's your burden to bear. If I believe a discussion of ethics is valid for whatever lesson we're discussing at the time, I'll ask you to share your opinion. Otherwise, assume I'm not interested. If you decide to bore me with your ethical pontifications anyway, I will indulge you only so long as I have the patience for nonsense - and, as I am most emphatically not a morning person, it will not be a particularly long time - and then I will toss you out of class in your ear so the rest of the class can get back to learning."

The door was over there, folks. Feel free to use it now if you didn't like any of the above.

"Now then, I've since learned that I'm expected to give over a full class period to introductions, rather than just getting right in to teaching--" Yes, she looked aggrieved about that, too. Look, aggrieved was clearly the emotion of the day. Seventeen classes was already barely enough time for a survey course, and here she was, losing one to introductions. "--so let's begin with your name, the reason you signed up for this class - if you're here by mistake, take a moment to come up with at least a semi-plausible lie - and what, if any, knowledge or experience with undead you already have. If you have none...suggest to me your favorite piece of media involving the undead. It will give me a chance to see what nonsense I'm up against."

Comments

Sign in 01/11

[deathsmajesty]

Not a morning person!

Re: Sign in 01/11

[what_big_teeth]

Eleanor Zarrin

Re: Sign in 01/11

[wildgalegirl]

Charlie Gale

Re: Sign in 01/11

[stykera]

Stark

Listen to the Lecture

[deathsmajesty]

Okay, it was more of a rant than a lecture, as there's remarkably little information about the course topic provided, but she's just as grumpy about that as you are. Probably more.

Introductions

[deathsmajesty]

Name, reason for taking the class, experience/knowledge of the undead, and favorite piece of undead media!

Re: Introductions

[wildgalegirl]

"Hey, I'm Charlie Gale and I took this class because I thought it would be cool," she said with a grin. "The only undead I'm familiar with in my world are the vampires and most people think they're extinct."

Re: Introductions

[deathsmajesty]

"An excellent reason and one that I, obviously, agree with," Liliana said, her smile slightly warming. "Tell me about your world's vampires. Why do most people think they're extinct? What do you know about them, their creations, their strengths and weaknesses? How do you know they're not if most people believe they are?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Not that, for the record, I believe that what is generally considered 'common knowledge' is often correct."

Re: Introductions

[stykera]

"I'm Stark," Stark said, looking around the room as he spoke. "I'm...I thought this would be interesting to learn about. I'm familiar with the zombies at the bar, and once there were zombies who attacked the island, and there are vampires here I'm familiar with..." Hey Eric, how you doin'? "And ghosts. Ghosts at home and ghosts here."

Re: Introductions

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana did not look best pleased to have the zombies at the bar brought up. "For the record," she said crisply, "the zombies at Caritas are an interesting case. For one thing, they demonstrate an impressive level of independent thought and behavior. Playing instruments requires a lot of hand-eye coordination and both the ability to read music or memorize their individual parts require a lot of high-level thought. In addition to that, the radio has mentioned times when they've demonstrated either the capacity for emotion - or, at least, the ability to appropriately playact and mimic it."

She was thinking of the broadcasts after 3MD and then resolutely not thinking of 3MD at all, thank you.

"The skill involved in bringing zombies to life with that level of emotional complexity and higher thought processes is impressive. Usually it's done by binding the original personality to the flesh, though, occasionally, it can be done by patchworking multiple fragments of personality and filling in the gaps with the necromancer's own will. But to go to all that effort and then not bother to take care of their physical forms? Letting them rot and decay until the point where their limbs have to be held together by tape?" Liliana made a disgusted sound. "What's the point? It's like creating a masterpiece and then not taking any steps to cure and varnish it and leaving it exposed to the elements!" She threw her hands up in frustration.

Really, what she wanted to do was take one apart and analyze the spells therein, but she was pretty sure no one would let her do that.

Re: Introductions

[what_big_teeth]

"My name's Eleanor," Eleanor offered with a little bit of an awkward smile and a shrug of a shoulder; she still couldn't really get used to a whole week of just explaining who you were to people after so long at a school where most people wouldn't even care. But, then again, she also wouldn't have followed that introduction with what she was going to say next at her last school, either. "And I come from a family of werewolves and witches,"...and...other things... "so taking a class like this just sort of seems right up my alley, you know? It wouldn't hurt to know more about this kind of thing, especially if I am going to sort of take up my grandmother's role in the family one day."

There was a little bit of a pause, feeling like maybe she shouldn't have added that last part, but she moved on.

"And I don't really keep up with a lot of media," she then admitted, "and I'm also from the past so I don't know hardly any stuff that's considered modern now, but I do think 'She's Not There' is a nice song? Isn't that band called the Zombies?"

She looked around a little bit, mostly toward Charlie, to be honest, for a confirmation on that, since, let's be honest, Ms. Vess didn't exactly look like she kept up with a lot of British rock bands from the 1960s, either.

Re: Introductions

[deathsmajesty]

You were right there, Eleanor. Liliana couldn't name an Earth band if her life depended on it.

"What is your grandmother's role in the family, Eleanor?" Liliana asked with more interest than she'd expected to show today.

Re: Introductions

[mess_and_i_are_friends]

"Hey, Humphrey Goodman" Huphrey said when it was his turn giving a slightly awkward wave to everyone. "I decided to take the class because it sounds enlightening and I think it will be a good step on my goal to be a little less 'stuck on science and not be so narrow-minded' as one person I know might phrase it" Humphrey aid as he gave Liliana the faintest of grins.

Re: Introductions

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana's lip curled into a small half-smile. "That person sounds both brilliant and beautiful and you're incredibly lucky to know them," she declared. "Now then, experience with the undead? Or your favorite bit of media?"

Re: Introductions

[begmetwice]

"Irene Adler," she offered, lifting a tumbler of tea -- an utterly necessary accessory for the next several months of classes -- in a small salute. "I'm here because it sounded interesting, and all of this sort of thing is just fiction where I'm from, so I'm always curious." And the teacher had talked her into it, frankly. "There's a film from about twenty years back -- little thing about a group of utterly average friends in a the UK who have to deal with a zombie apocalypse, and decide to hole up at the local pub to wait it out. I like that one quite a bit, though I would also be remiss if I didn't point out that it's a parody of the works of Mr. George Romero, who I think popularized the genre and deserves credit."

But let's be real -- the one with the Queen song and the cricket-bat assault was going to be her favorite, regardless of its more worth predecessors.

Re: Introductions

[deathsmajesty]

It was a damn good movie and Liliana would probably be both entertained and outraged while watching it - which was much better than most of the others, where she would simply be outraged.

"What about it makes it your favorite?" Liliana asked. "Is the fact that they're utterly average a detriment to your enjoyment or the root of it?"

Re: Introductions

[guillermothegreat]

Guillermo was definitely excited about the class, "hi I'm Guillermo de la Cruz and I'm taking this class because I love everything about vampires," he said enthusiastically, "my favourite piece of undead media is dialogue with a dhamphir, I've loved that movie since I was a child and saw Antonio Banderas play a vampire," he revealed, he was just going to not mention the part about him being a descendant of Van Helsing.

Re: Introductions

[deathsmajesty]

WORD THO. Antonio could get it

"What is it that you love best?" Liliana asked. "Above and beyond this Banderas' portrayal. What is it about vampires that lingers in your mind?"

Re: Introductions

[two_idiots_one_body]

"I'm Arthur Lester." Arthur grimaced. "I have experience with ghosts and some things I'm not sure what they were. I thought this class might be useful if I run across any more."

Re: Introductions

[what_big_teeth]

Eleanor's eyes couldn't help shifting over toward Arthur when he made his introduction, eyes that then did a sort of quick assessment of him.

Because of course there'd be someone named Arthur in her class about the undead. Why wouldn't there be? She sunk forward on her desk a little, cradling her chin in her hand with a sigh and tried very hard not to think about it.

Re: Introductions

[deathsmajesty]

"Mmm, indeed," Liliana said with something of a sardonic smile. "I certainly do intend it to be, and we will be going over different varieties of ghosts, I assure you. Though, regrettably, other entities are beyond the purview of this class, most of them being so unique it's pointless to try to generalize them."

Re: Introductions

[gospel_of_oblivion]

"Illyana Rasputin, sorcerer," Illyana drawled. "While vampires tend to be the most frequent undead problem in my universe, zombies crop up an alarming amount. And I have a vested interest in learning about different magical disciplines, regardless of universe."

"Though I think my favorite 'undead' media is Mary Shelley's original 'Frankenstein.' Because it's a human man that really causes all the tragedy, by meddling with forces he doesn't really understand."

Re: Introductions

[deathsmajesty]

"Vampires are often quite tiresome creatures, yes," Liliana said, rolling her eyes. "A nest of them just ruined my dining room on Innistrad. They generally learn better manners with age, but it's something of a bell curve."

"Oh, I intend to discuss that book in class," Liliana said. "Because it is, by far, the best depiction of the kind of necromancer we refer to as 'Stitchers' I have ever seen." Liliana's smile was very thin. "I positively loathe Stitchers."

Talk To Liliana

[deathsmajesty]

But you'd better make it worth her while if you're interrupting her precious brooding coffee time.

OOC

[deathsmajesty]

idk if we're still doing TAs or whatnot, but if we are and you wanna be one, hmu/talk to Liliana!