fandomhigh | 20th Century Food Crimes, Friday 5/19, First Period

"Hey, everyone," Summer greeted from the front of the classroom with that usual beatific grin that brightened her face whenever she was put into a position of clear power over people's palate and taste buds. "Glad to see we didn't scare you off too badly last week, and to reward you for your perseverance, we're going to be looking into something that might be a little less obviously food crime, and putting it up for debate, focused around one main question: is it a food crime to claim to be one thing while very obviously not being that thing?"

“Like how cheesecake isn’t a cake?” Stark, full of foolish hope, asked.

"No," said Summer, unapologetic. Well, maybe a little bit, because it did feel like this was going to be particularly insulting since they involved pie, two of which were revealed dramatically with the lift of a couple of cloches. "More like when an apple pie is not really an apple pie, or maybe when a pecan pie is not really a pecan pie?"

“Not like when Boston Cream Pie isn’t a pie?” Poor Stark. He was trying! He sighed. “I didn’t really think so.”

"More like when when a pie is still a pie," Summer reiterated helpfully, "but uses stuff like Ritz crackers and pinto beans! Let's get started!"

“There shouldn’t be beans in pie,” Stark told her. “The crackers weren’t terrible the last time, at least.”

"Look on the bright side," Summer offered. "At least they're not green beans."

Ooh, she should make a green bean pie.

“Please don’t make a green bean pie,” Stark said quickly, giving his fellow teacher a pleading look. He couldn’t read narrative but he knew Summer fairly well.

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"He hasn't won so far," Stark said. "Though he has tried attacking. I still don't want to drown him either."

There was a pause, the sort that might have suggested that she was considering saying that that would be fine, as an outcome. Possibly even ideal!

"...okay, that's fair, I guess," she said, instead, generously, kindly. "I don't think they'd allow attempted drowning in there anyway."

"Most businesses," Stark said, "dislike murders happening there. Most."

Was it really murder on that case or was it more of a public service?

"Not if it's a murder business," said Summer. "That'd be their whole jam."

And that was when it probably became clear that a good amount of painkillers might be to thank for her current level of fine-ness.

"I don't think we have any of those on the island...I would have noticed by now."

The island had a vanishingly small number of deaths for which Stark remained very grateful.

"I'll try to avoid any killing if I can help it."

20th Century Food Crimes, Friday 5/19, First Period

Re: Talk to the Teachers [FC 5/19]

Re: Talk to the Teachers [FC 5/19]

Re: Talk to the Teachers [FC 5/19]

Re: Talk to the Teachers [FC 5/19]

Re: Talk to the Teachers [FC 5/19]