Sam Eagle Presents WeirDONT'S: How Not To Be A Weirdo, Monday, Period Five, 5/8

[but_mostly_america]

Sam was standing in the front of the classroom well before any students arrived. There was an American flag prominently displayed on the wall behind him (because of course there was) and a podium decorated with patriotic bunting for him to speak from.

At precisely the scheduled beginning of the class Sam cleared his throat and began to speak.

“Welcome students to Sam Eagle Presents WeirDON’TS: How Not To Be A Weirdo. I, Sam Eagle, will be your instructor for the next 7 weeks. At the end of our time together you should be well-prepared to not be a weirdo. Perhaps some of you are already prepared. I certainly hope so! The world has far too many weirdos as it is. This island has too many weirdos. Perhaps even more than my usual workplace!”

“It is my hope,” Sam continued, leaning forward over the podium, “that all of you will become decent, wholesome, well-adjusted members of society!”

Except you, Beaker. There was no hope for you. Not even a little.

“To begin our class this week we shall introduce ourselves! Forming community is important! I would like all of you to introduce yourselves to your classmates and to me. Share an interesting fact about yourselves! An interesting and normal fact! Nothing weird. Let us begin!”

Comments

Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

Tell us all something about yourself!

Sam would prefer non-weird facts. I think you know what you should do.

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[napking]

Gray tried really hard to think of something a felt eagle would find super normal about him and finally came up with, "I'm Gray, and I have wings?" That would seem normal to an eagle, right? "I mean, but they're inside my body right now." Just to clarify.

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

"Wings belong on the outside!"

Sam flapped his own wings as if to demonstrate.

"And they are not meant for humans!"

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[napking]

"Oh, well, I'm not human, so that's okay," Gray said cheerfully.

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

Sam's eyes narrowed, somehow, despite being immovable.

"Then what are you, young?"

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[napking]

Well, he wasn't a young anything but pointing that out would probably raise some issues what with the 'high schooler' thing, so..."Nephilim." You know. A very normal thing to be.

Or at least more normal than 'felt eagle.' Well. Maybe. He guessed it depended on where you were from.

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

"That doesn't sound normal," Sam said suspiciously.

He certainly wouldn't admit to not knowing what it was!

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[what_big_teeth]

This was definitely a big jump from starting her day with a class about pizza, and the topic seemed pretty antithetical to everything Eleanor had been told and even experienced about how accepting and odd this place was.

Forget the fact that a large foam(?) eagle teaching the class to begin with was pretty antithetical to the topic itself.

But Eleanor did have some practice being normal. She wasn't always good at it, but if she survived as long as she did at her last school...

"My name is Eleanor Zarrin," she offered. "And I like to read poetry."

Very good, very normal interest for a teenage girl to have. Unless she read too much poetry, or certain kinds of poetry, but hardly objectionable (she hoped!) on the surface.

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

"Poetry is an excellent interest for a young lady!"

Careful, Eleanor, you might be Sam's favorite now.

"Do you have a favorite poet?"

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[furrybluefreak]

OK yeah...non-weird.... Had their teacher had a good look at him yet? It was kinda hard to ignore the abundance of 'not normal' Kurt possessed.

"Umm.... I'm Kurt Wager" he said, his German accent coming through more than usual due to his nerves. "And ummm well I... I can teleport."

Sorry, he tried.

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

Sam was a giant eagle made of blue felt. Maybe he just thought Kurt was a particularly fancy Muppet?

"That sounds like something out of science fiction!"

Because it was, probably.

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[furrybluefreak]

"Its really something I can do" Kurt said and gave a small smile as he poofed away just to reappear a second later a little ways away. "See?"

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

"That is certainly weird, young man!"

Being blue was fine. But randomly disappearing and reappearing? WEIRD!

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[pun_king]

"Hi, I'm Graham!" Graham said excitedly, once it was his turn, beaming happily and waving to his eagle teacher. "Graham Cra--"

He had been so excited about his introduction that, on his way to standing up, he hadn't realized that his foot had caught on the leg of his chair, and when he stood, it went crashing behind him as it fell, cutting him off with its loud clatter, and Graham, a little sheepish now, rubbed the back of his neck before apologizing and setting the chair back up.

"There," he said, patting it firmly, almost proudly. "Sorry about that! Anyway, as I was saying, I'm Graham, and I'm going to be a knight!"

Didn't get much more normal, as far as aspirations for brave young men went, than that, right?

Of course, he did repeat it again, in a series of screeches and squawks that was making what little he knew of the eagle language work for him. His accent was probably a little off, but he thought maybe his eagle teacher would appreciate it! He even tucked his arms in and flapped his elbows a little to get the gestures in for emphasis!

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

"Your accent is atrocious," Sam told him. "But that was a good effort! I was unaware that knighthood was a career option for young men but i applaud your dedication to chivalry!"

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[two_idiots_one_body]

Your turn, Arthur.

"Oh, right, yes. I'm Arthur Lester. I'm a private detective."

Ignore his left hand, the one with the wooden pinkie, poking his right.

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

"That is a very normal job, sir. Well done! Perhaps not as normal as a police detective but certainly an acceptable occupation!"

Sam nodded approvingly. But not at the hand. The hand got a bit of a side-eye but perhaps the man was a war hero, wounded in action!

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[two_idiots_one_body]

"Thank you, I think." Arthur still had no idea what he was doing here.

Or that the teacher was a blue felt eagle.

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[meepmeepmeep]

Oh, no, Sam, Beaker was going to welcome you back to the island. With your name in fireworks!

...Inside. Surely this would end well!

"Meep meep meep meep meep meep," he said, pointing to himself, "meep meep mee!" Broad gesturing above his head. "Meep mee meep meep meep!"

And then he lit the fuse.

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

"Absolutely not!" Sam bellowed. "Stop that this instant. Why are you here? I was assured this would be a quiet summer!"

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[meepmeepmeep]

So was that a no on the drumkit Beaker had pulled out of...wherever Muppets pulled sight gags from?

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[but_mostly_america]

"If you can play a waltz I will allow the drums!"

Re: Class Activity: Introduce Yourselves! [5/8]

[meepmeepmeep]

Did you know you could play an irritating version of Moonlight Sonata as a waltz on the drums, Sam? Because now you know that.