Yennefer of Vengerberg (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tellmehowstuffworks) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2021-09-29 10:49 am
tellmehowstuffworks) wrote in fandomhigh2021-09-29 10:49 am
Entry tags:
The Modern World & You, Wednesday Second Period
The first thing that happened at the beginning of today's class was that Yennefer turned to Jaskier and told him, "Right, you need to leave."
"I beg your pardon!" He was here to educate, how dare you.
"The information I will impart today is not for your ears, bard," Yennefer said sternly. She made it sound like she was going to be giving out the secrets of the universe, and not...how to use a tampon.
"Is this about magic or trying to kill me that one time?" Jaskier demanded. Because he'd leave in that case.
"When did I try to--it's neither, bard, it's about lady things."
Jaskier made yet another affronted noise over how much she clearly did not remember his great trauma in dealing with both her and a djinn and also blood all over his best tunic. But that outrage also allowed him to be shoved out of the room.
Also those dainty noodley arms.
As soon as the door had slammed behind him, Yennefer turned to the students and said, "Right. Let's talk about your courses." She paused, frowned, and said, "Although considering how long you've been here already, I certainly hope someone already has. Anyway, I have good news: you don't have to bleed into your petticoats any longer." In case anyone hadn't figured it out, Yen was talking about periods, not class schedules.
"There are a wide range of options available. This," she held up a square package, "is a 'pad.' You have to wear underwear in the style of this era with it, but all you do is stick the sticky side to the underwear and the 'pad' absorbs the blood, and then you throw it away and replace it with a new one as needed. This," she held up a slender tubular object, "is a 'tampon.' Slightly advanced; this goes inside. You may wish to find a friend who has already used one of these to educate you in the particulars of its usage. It will not compromise your virginity, if that's something you're worried about. How it works is it plugs you up and absorbs the blood without letting it ever get out. Like the pad, you just remove and replace it periodically. This," she held up a rubbery cup, "is a 'menstrual cup.' It also goes inside, and the instructions said something about creating a seal. Frankly, it concerns me, but some people swear by them, and again, I would recommend asking a friend who is familiar with its use. Unlike the first two options, it is reusable, so you don't have to keep buying them. You just remove it and pour the blood out and put it back up your..." Yennefer paused, considered the word she'd been about to use, and tried instead, "lady flower." Ugh. "And this," she held up a pair of panties, "is magical underwear that absorbs the blood and doesn't stain or let it get on the rest of your clothes, and then you just wash them and they're good to use again. Amazing! There's no wrong choice, you just have to pick the one that's right for you. Oh, and one more thing. This, children..." Yennefer held up a bottle of pills. "This is Midol. Learn it. Love it. Are there any questions?"
"I beg your pardon!" He was here to educate, how dare you.
"The information I will impart today is not for your ears, bard," Yennefer said sternly. She made it sound like she was going to be giving out the secrets of the universe, and not...how to use a tampon.
"Is this about magic or trying to kill me that one time?" Jaskier demanded. Because he'd leave in that case.
"When did I try to--it's neither, bard, it's about lady things."
Jaskier made yet another affronted noise over how much she clearly did not remember his great trauma in dealing with both her and a djinn and also blood all over his best tunic. But that outrage also allowed him to be shoved out of the room.
Also those dainty noodley arms.
As soon as the door had slammed behind him, Yennefer turned to the students and said, "Right. Let's talk about your courses." She paused, frowned, and said, "Although considering how long you've been here already, I certainly hope someone already has. Anyway, I have good news: you don't have to bleed into your petticoats any longer." In case anyone hadn't figured it out, Yen was talking about periods, not class schedules.
"There are a wide range of options available. This," she held up a square package, "is a 'pad.' You have to wear underwear in the style of this era with it, but all you do is stick the sticky side to the underwear and the 'pad' absorbs the blood, and then you throw it away and replace it with a new one as needed. This," she held up a slender tubular object, "is a 'tampon.' Slightly advanced; this goes inside. You may wish to find a friend who has already used one of these to educate you in the particulars of its usage. It will not compromise your virginity, if that's something you're worried about. How it works is it plugs you up and absorbs the blood without letting it ever get out. Like the pad, you just remove and replace it periodically. This," she held up a rubbery cup, "is a 'menstrual cup.' It also goes inside, and the instructions said something about creating a seal. Frankly, it concerns me, but some people swear by them, and again, I would recommend asking a friend who is familiar with its use. Unlike the first two options, it is reusable, so you don't have to keep buying them. You just remove it and pour the blood out and put it back up your..." Yennefer paused, considered the word she'd been about to use, and tried instead, "lady flower." Ugh. "And this," she held up a pair of panties, "is magical underwear that absorbs the blood and doesn't stain or let it get on the rest of your clothes, and then you just wash them and they're good to use again. Amazing! There's no wrong choice, you just have to pick the one that's right for you. Oh, and one more thing. This, children..." Yennefer held up a bottle of pills. "This is Midol. Learn it. Love it. Are there any questions?"
Sign In
Re: Sign In
Re: Sign In
During the Lecture
Re: During the Lecture
None of this would have been taught at her old school.
Discuss!
Re: Discuss!
Talk to Your Teachers
OOC