fandomhigh | How to Be A Chocobro; Friday, First Period [09/03].

How to Be A Chocobro; Friday, First Period [09/03].

Gladio and his dog had had a very productive last few days of sowing chaos, all a part of his evil plan, although, really, so far, all he'd really accomplished was unleashing the universe's sweetest puppy on unsuspecting bar patrons and tied up all his roommates and shoved them into various closets around their apartment.

Which was key to his ultimate evil plan, really! Because that meant he was not going to be burdened by some snooty guy with really pretty long hair and some less-snooty guy with the voice of a freakin' angel, and was going to run this class himself to recruit the students as minions to help him proceed on his malicious machinations.

So, yes, there was a person who looked, for all intents and purposes, like a ten-year-old boy standing in front of the classroom, with an adorable pitbull puppy eagerly panting at his side, grinning eagerly at the students.

"SO!" Gladio shouted, because he apparently only had one volume when it came to speaking right now. "I SEE YOU'VE ALL COME HERE FOR A CLASS CALLED 'HOW TO BE A CHOCOBRO.' I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. IT SOUNDS LIKE SOME KIND OF PROMPTO-SHIT, BUT GUESS WHAT? I'VE TAKEN CARE OF HIM AND THE OTHER TEACHER FOR THIS CLASS, SO YOU'VE JUST GOT ME! AND WE'RE GOING TO GO IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION! WE GOT A WORLD TO TAKE OVER!"

Because there was nothing quite like starting your day out with a child shouting at you about world domination.

"YOU," he informed them, with a lift of his chin and giving them a criticial look over, then nodded, as if deciding that, sure, they'll all do, "ARE NOW MY MINIONS, AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU BRING TO THE TABLE. SO LET ME KNOW YOUR NAME AND WHAT YOU THINK YOU," that was extra shouty!, "WILL DO TO SOW EVIL AND CHAOS. ESPECIALLY YOU, ARGENTUM ~~assuming she was there~~.

"And don't worry," his voice dropped to a normal volume as he was trying to sort of make this an aside, but whispers and soft-speaking were non-existent to him right now, "Prompto's fine, I just had to get him out of the way so he didn't spoil my evil plans."

Because Gladio may look like he was ten, but he was still very much himself, just a lot more evil and a lot more shouty. So he figured she might be at least a little offended about the whole tying-up-her-brother thing.

He clapped his hands together and the puppy at his side let out a cheerful bark. "OKAY!" he shouted. "LET'S GO!"

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Like an Agent of Evil and Chaos!

Sakaki

Kiem Tegnar

Nina Argentum

Juillenne Milone (and Camden)

Or, rather, be yelled at by a ten year old boy about evil and chaos.

Edited 2021-09-03 09:23 (UTC)

Well, like, the answer to ‘were all three of them just going to teach at the same time and were they going to stuff Noct in a box while they were all busy?’… was… kind of not answered today. Like. At all.

(She was still vaguely hoping he’d wind up being forced to attend this class because she thought that was hilarious.)

(And, sure, she could just ask any of the boyos what they were doing about Noctis but, like…………. No? Her speculation was more fun to indulge in! And Box!Noctis would probably be a best-selling toy! Who wouldn’t want a prince-in-a-box?)

ANYWAY.

Nina wasn’t getting the answer to that question today but, like, as soon as she’d entered the class, she’d started recording and, just like, this was A+ footage and it was being sent to Iris right away with a caption that simply read:

oooooooohmygoooooooooosh!!!!!??!?!?!!!!!!!!!

Iris recognized that tiny (although not much tinier than she, let's be real) child!

ohmygosh is that GLADDY? What is he doing? How did he get so young? What is happening there right now???

She'd heard about some of the weird things at that school, especially through Nina, but this was amazing!

I'm not sure yet but apparently he's kidnapped and tied up Iggy and Prompto and is going to take over the world???????????!??!

Nina was not very worried about any of this, no.

We're his minions apparently??????????? has Gladio ever wanted to take over the world before??????!?!?!

Edited 2021-09-03 16:02 (UTC)

It took Iris a little while to answer, because she had to go back and watch the video Nina had sent all over again and needed to remember how to breathe from laughing so much!

U should really tell him he needs to use his inside voice! This is amazing! And I don't think he has, but I'll have to ask our dad! He should know!

Oh, thank the gods Prince Noctis had some vague, independent prince study program/training thing going on right now with some other members of the Crownsguard like her father that gave Gladio more free time to go do...

THIS.

Are Prompto and Ignis little too???

If they were, she would have to demand pictures, if only because she actually couldn't imagine Ignis ever being young!!

Okay, Minions! What have you got? What can you bring to the table to help Gladio and his puppy achieve their ultimate evil plans (whatever those actually might be)? He's ready to listen and decide if you belong on board with his machinations, or if you, like the others, deserve to be tied up and shoved in a closet.

Edited 2021-09-03 09:25 (UTC)

"Um."

Kiem wasn't sure whether he should be worried for himself and his classmates or for the kid.

"Kiem Tegnar. I'm completely useless at evil and chaos."

Kiem. Kiem. Way to disappoint your teacher right off the bat! Gladio gave Kiem such a withering look of disapproval and he shook his head, running a hand momentarily through his hair and imploring the powers that be for strength in dealing with a completely useless agent of evil and chaos in his ranks.

Which was quite the expression for a ten year old. Finally, though, Gladio sighed and, hands on his hips, looked at Kiem squarely with consideration, much like a tiny general would regard his soldiers before a march.

"THINK YOU CAN AT LEAST WALK AND FEED THE DOG?" he ~~asked~~ shouted, with a gesture toward the puppy, who was honestly just happy to be there.

That was a dog? Never mind, it was an animal that clearly shouldn't be with an angry shouting kid.

"I'll look after the dog."

"I would also like to take care of the dog!" Sakaki managed to squawk out, surprising even herself with her audacity and bravery in doing so, but she was desperate to not have to think of something evil (between this and Harry talking about murderers, what was going on?) to do, and the puppy was adorable, besides, and she wanted in on that action.

"If..." Pink flooded her cheeks as the realization of her boldness settled in, "that's okay..."

She didn't know if she was asking Kiem for permission, or Gladio, or both, but she did realize she missed her introduction in her distraction.

"And I'm Sakaki," she offered, bowing just as much out of nerves as out of habit, "sir?"

It was weird calling a little boy sir, but it was weirder not showing respect to a teacher.

"We can look after the dog together," Kiem said firmly.

At least his classmate seemed... sane.

Gladio looked between Kiem and Sakaki for a moment, then looked down at the dog as if consulting him for his opinions on the matter, and then looked back to the students with a nod.

"OKAY, THEN," he ~~said~~ shouted. "YOU," he nodded to Kiem, "WILL BE FIRST GENERAL ASSISTANT TO COLONEL BAHAMUTT," because of course he named his dog Bahamutt, it was perfect and brilliant, don't even, "AND YOU," he nodded to Sakaki, "WILL BE SECOND GENERAL ASSISTANT TO COLONEL BAHAMUTT. STAND READY FOR HIS ORDERS."

Currently, the Colonel's orders involved just appreciating how cute he was and maybe giving him some pets and maybe belly rubs.

Edited 2021-09-03 11:45 (UTC)

As far as assignments in a child's building army of evil went, Second General Assistant to the most adorable colonel was pretty good! So Sakaki could only flash a bright, triumphant sort of smile at Kiem.

They could do this, surely!

"I'm sure he wants to go for a walk," Kiem said, shooting Sakaki a smile. He held out a hand towards the dog. "Don't you?"

“On a scale of, like, Nif evil to not evil at all, how far are we supposed to go in our plans for world domination???????????????” she said, unable to keep from smiling at the weird, hilariously smol and shouty Gladio. “And just when did you take my brother out and did he put up a decent fight???????????”

She. Uh.

Well.

Look, she’d be more worried about Prompto if it wasn’t for the fact that even while being evil, tiny Gladio was reassuring her that he was okay.

It was adorable.

“Does he need me to rescue him??????????”

Which might just add to his humiliation if he’d been overpowered by tiny Gladio and then rescued by his sister.

…

Which, come to think of it, was probably pretty evil as far as this Gladio would be concerned… hm… though not very world domination-y...

(Though yes, of course, she’d film the whole thing!)

"HE'S FINE," Gladio ~~assured her~~ shouted at her. "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT."

He didn't need Nina rescuing Prompto and then having that incredible voice of his mucking things up.

And for the record, there hadn't been any fight at all. Because Gladio had a puppy. It was stupid easy to pull tying Prompto up when there was a puppy involved.

"AND OBVIOUSLY NOT NIF EVIL," he ~~added~~ shouted. "NO ONE WANTS TO BE NIF EVIL. BUT STILL PRETTY EVIL."

The details were incredibly vague, yes.

But his idea of evil had included shoving people in closets and unleashing dogs in bars so far, soooo....

At least kidnapping and violating health codes was more evil than what new guy and Sakaki were willing to do, honestly.

Nina was kind of disappointed in the lack of evil they were willing to go along with.

"I mean, like, part of world domination is taking something over," Nina said, nodding like this was all normal and not delightfully weird. "And, also, a base of operations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nina leaned forward conspiratorially.

"And there's an empty castle on the grounds!!!!!!!!!!!"

She knew, she'd built a lot of it herself.

To their credit, while taking care of the dog was not very evil, it was at least important.

But Gladio could already see that Nina had a mind for the sorts of things he was going for, which didn't surprise him, really, and he had to grin with gratitude.

"NOW WE'RE TALKING!" he ~~said~~ shouted. "A HEADQUARTERS IS JUST WHAT WE NEED! ALRIGHT, THEN, IT'S SETTLED. NINA, YOU'RE OUR BASE OF OPERATIONS COORDINATOR. I THINK I CAN TRUST YOU TO MAKE THE PLACE PROPERLY EVIL, TOO."

Because you apparently enjoy having a ten year old shouting at you.

Gladio is, however, slightly distracted by wondering if his next evil plan should involve cutting Ignis's long, beautiful hair, because oooooh, that did seem pretty evil, and definitely what he was going to do once he was out of here!

I don't think I could have asked for a better Chaos Drink outcome for this class than this, although we were thisclose to getting a Prompto-led karaoke class instead.

Although, let's be honest, that is probably still going to be a class that Prompto would do even without the influence of weird booze.

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How to Be A Chocobro; Friday, First Period [09/03].

Sign In - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Sign In - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Sign In - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Sign In - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Sign In - Chocobros, 09/03.

Listen to the Lecture - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Chocobros, 09/03.

Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Re: Introductions of Evil - Chocobros, 09/03.

Talk to the Teacher - Chocobros, 09/03.

OOC - Chocobros, 09/03.