fandomhigh | OMG I Could Just PIE - Tuesday, Second Period [07/20].

Ugh! Finally! Summer could actually hope for a normal class this week of torturing people she liked and cared about with horrible recipes again! Barring, of course, anyone who might be a bit late due to whatever it was the island was doing this week, anyway! But it had been far too long since she got this out of her system, so she sure hoped anyone who did make it to class this week was ready to to be disgusted.

"Oh, man," she started with a happy sigh as she looked around the kitchen classroom, "I have missed this place and all the culinary crimes we have subjected it to over the summers! But fear not, because you can bet, now that we can get back to things as normal, we're going to come in swinging with a real doozy from the 1960s with our good old friend, Spam. That's right. In pie. It's going to be...an experience."

If there was anything Summer could guarantee in this class, it was an experience!

"I've been itching to do something like this for two weeks now, so we are definitely going to dive right into it, my friends."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

With how much you've missed making shit with Spam!

Clare Devlin

Stark

Hannibal Lecter

The excitement Summer feels in leading everyone through the recipe is evident and palpable, from blending up some crackers for the crust, blending up some Spam with evaporated milk for the filling that would be layers over some nice cheddar cheese, the classy af touch of decorating the whole monstrosity with almonds...

Ahhh. It felt good to be back, baybeeeee.

"I almost missed this," Stark muttered, shaking his head at the recipe.

He had, in fact, missed Summer's class. And Summer.

Hannibal sighed. This was his payback for not sharing his meat in the hole, wasn't it?

Yes, he had missed seeing what Summer could come up with. He was now wondering why.

A savory pie, to be sure, but how bad can it really be?

There's only one (unfortunate) way to find out, and that's to give it a try and share your thoughts with the class!

Do you know how to make this even worse? Mix up the evaporated milk with sweetened condensed...which is what Clare did.

"Blessed and merciful Christ," she gasped, spitting it out. "That's vile."

"It wasn't that bad," Stark said, after a bite of his own pie. "Was it?"

Hannibal took a bite and made a face. Not so much for what was in it, but - "What did mid-century people have against herbs and spices?" The pie's worst crime was that it was unforgivably bland.

If you're hoping to find even an ounce or remorse or apology on her face, good luck! You won't find it here!

But, hey, at least there was no gelatin involved?

"That wasn't as horrifying as I'd expected," Stark said.

That was probably not a wise thing to say.

"Yeaaaah," said Summer, slowly, because she had definitely noticed how okay Stark seemed with all of this, especially the whole meat-in-something-called-a-dessert of it all. "Your general lack of shookness right now has me kind of worried that I may have either actually broken something in you, or the Stark that came out of that hole was not the same Stark that went in."

The latter of which was....a real legit issue for girls who had been replaced with robots
before that may have mothers who might be clones.

"I'm still me." He hadn't been replaced by a replica in years and it had only been the once!

"It was a long time down there though." Give him a little time and he'll share the Snowball/jellybean/barbecue potato chip he and Faye had made the last day down there.

If he did share, Summer might just have to shed a few tears of pride.

"You literally just said a dessert-inspired dish with meat in it wasn't as horrifying," she pointed out, to emphasize that she was not crazy in these assumptions.

"There have been more horrifying things before," Stark protested. "I thought you might want to make up for lost time."

He'd thought of you while making terrible things for Steve to consume, Summer.

"Okay, that's fair," Summer allowed, after a moment. "Also, you guys just spent a few weeks in a hole, I wasn't going to go that hard on you."

There was another pause.

"Also we totally made legit pies, like, good ones, out of spite for the the first week, so..."

Stick that in your Spam and shove it.

"Two and a half weeks," Stark said. "I've been spending a lot of time outside since. When I can." When he wasn't randomly appearing in, say, the local sex shop.

He frowned. "You made real pies? Good pies? Without me on purpose?"

This session's class is entirely inspired by my discovery of Dylan Hollis and his vintage recipe TikTok, Lord help us all, he is a treasure and the physical IRL embodiment of this monster inside of Summer's soul.

"WE'RE NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE ALMONDS"

I am dead.

OMG I Could Just PIE - Tuesday, Second Period [07/20].

Sign In - OMG PIE, 07/20.

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The Recipe - OMG PIE, 07/20.

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The Pie - OMG PIE, 07/20.

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OOC - OMG PIE, 07/20.

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