doesnotkneel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doesnotkneel) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2021-07-05 02:08 pm
doesnotkneel) wrote in fandomhigh2021-07-05 02:08 pm
Adventures in Sheep Farming, Monday
"Right, so someone - a moose, I reckon - has played a filthy trick on us all."
No, Edward didn't have the slightest clue why anyone had set him up with this class. Or sent him a note asking him to report to the Danger Shop, where they currently were, and which looked suspiciously like the Hatherton countryside.
He loathed it.
"There's nothing worth learning about sheep farming," he said, "There certaintly ain't any adventure. It's a sad, poor life of toil and rickety walls meant to break a man down into a sad, mad shadow of himself."
Not that he had any feelings about it, or anything.
He cleared his throat.
"But since the island insists on trapping us here, let's walk to the barn and take a peek inside, aye? And then if any of you actually have dreams of farming, tell me so, so I may disabuse you of the very notion." Beat. "In fact, let's start by making you all smell the sheep, shall we?"
No, Edward didn't have the slightest clue why anyone had set him up with this class. Or sent him a note asking him to report to the Danger Shop, where they currently were, and which looked suspiciously like the Hatherton countryside.
He loathed it.
"There's nothing worth learning about sheep farming," he said, "There certaintly ain't any adventure. It's a sad, poor life of toil and rickety walls meant to break a man down into a sad, mad shadow of himself."
Not that he had any feelings about it, or anything.
He cleared his throat.
"But since the island insists on trapping us here, let's walk to the barn and take a peek inside, aye? And then if any of you actually have dreams of farming, tell me so, so I may disabuse you of the very notion." Beat. "In fact, let's start by making you all smell the sheep, shall we?"
Re: Why Are You Here?
"Which, by the way," he felt compelled to add, "didn't say anything about them bleeding, which is kind of unfair, because sheep farming is one thing, but now you're telling me there's blood involved, too?" He held up his hands, eyes wide as if dropping that concept like it was beyond hot. " That might be a bit much for me, man."
Re: Why Are You Here?
"What are you talking about?" he said. "I've no intention of bleeding the bloody sheep."
Re: Why Are You Here?
It was first period on a Monday. Either everything was a metaphor, or nothing was.
"Like, blood stuff is legit against my religion, dude."
And so were birthday parties and alcohol, and yet....
Re: Why Are You Here?
"Bloody is a word for emphasis, mate," he said, "I don't mean literally bloody. Though how on Earth people of your religion survive if they cut themselves or even feed themselves I've no idea."
Re: Why Are You Here?
"I don't know, man," said Troy, " but if the sheep aren't actually bloody, then I think we'll be good."
Except for the whole actual sheep farming thing, but who knew? It could be fun! Sheep were..cool. Maybe?
Re: Why Are You Here?
He was a complicated pirate.