but_mostly_america: (podium)
Sam Eagle ([personal profile] but_mostly_america) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2021-06-22 05:55 am
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Sam Eagle Presents: A Salute To... [Tuesday, 6/22, 4th Period]

The flag behind Sam had truly reached comical proportions this week. It was simply enormous.

As always, at precisely the correct time, Sam cleared his throat and began speaking. “Greetings, students! Today I have a very special treat for all of you!”
Don’t worry, it wasn’t a single slice of American cheese per person again. This was better! (No, really)

“As I was preparing for our final class I needed to research! I even turned to the internet. And there I found something wonderful. Did you know there is a superhero known as Captain America? I did not! But I have been enlightened!” It shouldn’t be possible for a large Muppet eagle with a permanent scowl to look this much like a heart eyes emoji and yet here we are.

“I used The Google,” yes, Sam talked like that sometimes, “to search for ‘wholesome American things’ and discovered that not only does Captain America exist but he is in fact extremely wholesome! And that is why today I, Sam Eagle, proudly and patriotically present A Salute To All Superheroes but Mostly Captain America!”

“Other superheroes are, of course, heroic. As they should be! It is their job! Captain America is, naturally, the most American of heroes. The most patriotic! The most wholesome! The greatest of all!”

No, Sam was not going to discuss any other heroes. Not even the other ones who lived on this island. Sorry, one third of the population.

“And class! For your special treat for this final class I have arranged for you to view examples of Captain America’s heroism and patriotism!”

Sure that’s what these are, Sam. Sure.

“Please enjoy these fine public service announcements from a fine superhero.”

[Let it be known that [personal profile] heroic_jawline encouraged this nonsense.]