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fandomhigh2021-05-25 06:56 am
but_mostly_america) wrote in fandomhigh2021-05-25 06:56 am
Entry tags:
Sam Eagle Presents: A Salute To... [Tuesday, 5/25, 4th Period]
For the third week in a row, Sam was standing behind a podium and in front of an American flag. Was the flag larger than the week before? It might have been.
“The bird,” Sam began, precisely on time just like he had been the past 2 weeks, “is, of course, the pinnacle of animalkind. We are noble and impressive creatures! Which is why today, I, Sam Eagle, present A Salute to all Birds, but Mostly Bald Eagles! Except for penguins. Penguins are ridiculous. I work with penguins. I do not recommend them as colleagues!”
The Muppet penguins were, of course, ridiculous. They were Muppets not named Sam, after all. Only Sam was not ridiculous and how dare anyone, even in narrative, ever imply otherwise.
“Never trust a bird that swims better than it can fly,” Sam continued. “A bird that can soar! That is the bird you want to be!” Clearly all of Sam’s students wanted to be birds, right? Why wouldn’t they?
“Birds are meant for the sky! Birds that exist in the water are abnormal! They are weird! And as for birds that can only run...those are nearly as bad! Though I do not recommend angering the emu or the ostrich! Especially the emu. Australia is a dangerous place and its inhabitants can be unpredictable.”
“But enough about inferior birds! We should discuss more impressive winged creatures. From the California condor to the tiny yet industrious hummingbird! Those of us who fly through the air are to be commended. And of course, American birds most of all! And the most American of all birds is the bald eagle! The symbol of this great nation! The most majestic of all birds! The most noble! The most patriotic! Simply the best!”
Bald eagles were also notable for their humble attitudes.
"It was once suggested by Benjamin Franklin, my least favorite founding father, that the common wild turkey be the national bird! Preposterous! Turkeys are for Thanksgiving dinner, not for representing an entire nation! Thankfully, he was outvoted! I suppose we should be grateful he did not suggest something worse. Like a penguin."
“Now! I do not suppose any of you have anything to share about any other birds? Or if you would like to share a fact about the bald eagle I would certainly not get in your way!”
“The bird,” Sam began, precisely on time just like he had been the past 2 weeks, “is, of course, the pinnacle of animalkind. We are noble and impressive creatures! Which is why today, I, Sam Eagle, present A Salute to all Birds, but Mostly Bald Eagles! Except for penguins. Penguins are ridiculous. I work with penguins. I do not recommend them as colleagues!”
The Muppet penguins were, of course, ridiculous. They were Muppets not named Sam, after all. Only Sam was not ridiculous and how dare anyone, even in narrative, ever imply otherwise.
“Never trust a bird that swims better than it can fly,” Sam continued. “A bird that can soar! That is the bird you want to be!” Clearly all of Sam’s students wanted to be birds, right? Why wouldn’t they?
“Birds are meant for the sky! Birds that exist in the water are abnormal! They are weird! And as for birds that can only run...those are nearly as bad! Though I do not recommend angering the emu or the ostrich! Especially the emu. Australia is a dangerous place and its inhabitants can be unpredictable.”
“But enough about inferior birds! We should discuss more impressive winged creatures. From the California condor to the tiny yet industrious hummingbird! Those of us who fly through the air are to be commended. And of course, American birds most of all! And the most American of all birds is the bald eagle! The symbol of this great nation! The most majestic of all birds! The most noble! The most patriotic! Simply the best!”
Bald eagles were also notable for their humble attitudes.
"It was once suggested by Benjamin Franklin, my least favorite founding father, that the common wild turkey be the national bird! Preposterous! Turkeys are for Thanksgiving dinner, not for representing an entire nation! Thankfully, he was outvoted! I suppose we should be grateful he did not suggest something worse. Like a penguin."
“Now! I do not suppose any of you have anything to share about any other birds? Or if you would like to share a fact about the bald eagle I would certainly not get in your way!”
Sign In [Week 3]
Listen to Sam and discuss birds!
OOC
Sam would find this weird.
Re: Sign In [Week 3]
Re: Sign In [Week 3]
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss birds!
But when Mr. Eagle finished being generally awful and terribly misguided regarding penguins, she offered, a bit tentatively, because she wasn't sure he'd approve:
"Well, the national bird of Japan,"--all the America stuff definitely made her want to represent her own homeland a bit more in this class--"is the green pheasant. They appear in many of our stories and legends, and the female green pheasant is sometimes called 'the Bird in the Burning Fields' for their determination to protect their eggs at all costs, even during a fire."
That was pretty noble and honorable!
"Also " she added, since it seemed relevant to the conversation, "my roommate is an owl."
Well, technically her roommate was a boy, and that boy had an owl, but let's not get pedantic over here.
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss birds!
He could've called the chickens, Sam. Remember that.
Re: Sign In [Week 3]
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss birds!
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss birds!
"There will be no impromptu performances in this class!"
Sam only believed in very organized choreography.
"And there will be no penguins!" Sam continued, dooming himself to more penguins in the future.
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss birds!
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss birds!
Sam's own children were estranged.
"And owls can be wise! But then again some owls do nothing but cause problems like dating ungrateful children."
Owls are fine unless they date Sam's kids. That's just not allowed.
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss birds!
Malia, no.
"We are birds of prey! Raptors! We are not prey ourselves!"
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss birds!
"You are if I can catch you," Malia said. "Anything that eats can be eaten."
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss birds!
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Re: Sign In [Week 3]