Student Assembly, Wednesday, November 25, 2020

[sith_happened]

"Most of you are ready to be on your four day weekend already," Anakin said, climbing up onto the stage and blinking at the set-up below him: each student had been sat behind a school desk, which had a basket on it covered with a gingham cloth.

Someone had been watching too many baking shows.

"Most of you are ready to be on your four day weekend already," Anakin repeated, "but too bad. Because today you are getting a very instructive discussion led by Stark entitled--" he pulled out his notecard only to have a radio squirrel shriek and race across the stage, climb up Anakin's pant leg and stick a stickie note onto his forehead.

Anakin sighed heavily and pulled it off. There had been a time when his very presence had terrified entire systems. "Right. Well, instead of what I thought we were doing--The Multiverse and You--we are doing..." he squinted at the note. "I have no idea. Something about holiday food, I think. Stark? You're up, I believe."

He glared at the student body. "And the first one to make a crack about my hair over the weekend gets detention until you graduate."

Comments

Take it away, Stark!

[sith_happened]

With...whatever this is.

The Multiverse And...Actually Never Mind, It's Just Food

[stykera]

Stark had also just been accosted by a squirrel with a note. “I...thought I was coming here for something else,” he said, looking out at his audience. “About alternate universes? No?” He frowned. He’d had a whole speech prepared. The Multiverse And You: How to Survive Multiple Aeryns Without Getting Shot. He had a lot of useful knowledge to impart! “Food is good too, I suppose. Tomorrow is a holiday, holidays often have food.” The best kind of holidays did, anyway.

“So. Yes. Food! I have no idea what is in these baskets. If this is anything like the TV show some of it will be frightening. Presumably it is food to make more food out of. But we’re in an auditorium and not in a kitchen so I don’t think there will be much cooking? I’m confused. Are we all confused? I’m confused.”

He looked around and frowned more. “This...who set this up? Was it the raccoons? Dozens of students and we have 3 microwaves, no ovens, 1 ice cream maker, and a waffle iron? And mystery baskets.” He shook his head.

"Anyway, yes. Tomorrow is a holiday about being thankful." Being thankful none of the Aeryns he had known or still knew had shot him yet, for example, though one of these days he would regret even thinking that. "I hope your baskets are full of Thanksgiving foods. Or at least edible foods." If the raccoons and/or gremlins had set this up the contents of the baskets were suspect. "Which...you can try to turn into something else? Good luck, with this set up. Or you can just eat. If it’s edible. It should be edible. I don’t think anyone is trying to poison anyone else today. If they are I'll make sure you get to the clinic safely."

Open those baskets!

[stykera]

You can make an attempt at cooking with your moddable basket of Thanksgiving goodies and the extremely questionable "kitchen" setup.

Or you can eat some food.

Or you could do...something else entirely. It's an auditorium full of students with baskets full of conveniently sized portions of food and it's the day before a holiday. What could possibly go wrong?

Re: Open those baskets!

[gospel_of_oblivion]

Illyana was just going to eat whatever looked edible without needing any prep.

There were some apples in her basket, that was good enough for a snack.

Re: Open those baskets!

[unusual_sith]

Lana had a few things, including...some sort of root something? (Sweet potatoes; they were whole sweet potatoes.) She held one up to Illyana. "Any idea what this is?"

Re: Open those baskets!

[gospel_of_oblivion]

"Some sort of potato," 'Yana replied, munching happily on her apple. "Probably a sweet potato, but who knows, they might be something that looks similar from another dimension."

Re: Open those baskets!

[unusual_sith]

"Oh!" Lana looked it over. "I've only ever seen them already in pieces and without the outer layer. So, edible once cooked, but not while raw." She set it back in the basket. "Rather like this." She pulled out the tofu that was also in there; someone had gotten the vegetarian option, apparently. "It's good enough cooked, but I made the mistake of trying it raw once; it might actually be worse than rations."

And that was saying something.

Re: Open those baskets!

[sexy_giraffe]

Well, Tahani had had a lot--very well, a couple--of cooking courses and so she was quite sure she could handle this with aplomb, providing that Summer hadn't set up the baskets.

"I have a can of cranberries and no can opener," she complained immediately, holding it up and frowning.

Re: Open those baskets!

[unusual_sith]

"I have a lightsaber," Lana offered.

Re: Open those baskets!

[sexy_giraffe]

This can only go well!

"I have no idea what that is, but if it's like knife, let's try!" Tahani said, handing the can over.

Re: Open those baskets!

[unusual_sith]

Lana set the can down, stood, ignited her saber, and focused enough to carefully slice the top quarter-inch off the can.

Or more accurately to vaporize the top quarter-inch of the can. What was left was an open can of cranberry sauce with cauterized edges and a smell of burnt cranberries. She sniffed it, shrugged, and handed it back to Tahani. "How's that?"

Re: Open those baskets!

[scoffs_at_tradition]

Was Shuri immediately using her basket ingredients to make a dinner roll trebuchet?

Maaaaaaaaaaaybe.

It was for science!

Re: Open those baskets!

[stykera]

Stark sees you, Shuri. And he is not going to try and stop you even a little bit because honestly this looks interesting and he wants to see where it goes.

Re: Open those baskets!

[scoffs_at_tradition]

Shuri smiled angelically at him.

Don't buy that for a minute.

Re: Open those baskets!

[toottootmagicflute]

Potatoes! Excellent. Poultry, good. A box of... he turned it over, and then on its side. Bits of stale bread with seasoning? Well, he'd eaten stale bread before. A can of berries? Those looked good, if he could figure out how to get the can open.

Wei Wuxian looked through the eclectic collection of tools and found a large metal bowl. There was no oven or fire, so he'd have to make do. He filled it with water and slapped a talisman on the side. The water immediately boiled. He chopped the potatoes roughly and dropped them in. There. Potatoes. And next, the turkey. He frowned at the raw poultry.

"Can anyone create a fire for cooking?" Surely someone could. He could create fire, but resentful energy wasn't great for cooking. A taste of death always crept into the food. "I could lay down an array to keep it contained. Is that allowed?" He looks at the adults in the room. "Can we work together?"

Re: Open those baskets!

[stykera]

Fire seemed like a poor choice in the auditorium but then this entire endeavor seemed like a poor choice so would fire really be the worst idea?

"A fire might be better than eating it raw," Stark said. "Of course you can work together. You don't have to work at all. There's no one to judge and this is the strangest kitchen I've ever seen."

Re: Open those baskets!

[unusual_sith]

"I can use lightning if you've got something to light on fire," Lana offered. She examined the shredded...something...that the baskets were packed with. "Do you think this is safe?"

Re: Open those baskets!

[toottootmagicflute]

"Good idea! That'll get the fire started. We'll still need something to keep it going long enough to cook anything." He eyes the basket itself, but no, there was no need to waste good craftsmanship when no one's life was at stake.

Re: Open those baskets!

[scoffs_at_tradition]

"How about the curtains?" Shuri asked.

Surely setting dust-filled auditorium curtains of dubious age and material on fire will be a good idea!

Uh Oh

[stykera]

Nobody's throwing any of the very throwable food, are they? Nobody here would ever do that, right?

Don't throw the cans of cranberry sauce. Stark can give you stitches but he really doesn't want to.

Re: Uh Oh

[scoffs_at_tradition]

Well she had to test the roll trebuchet, right? For science?

Sorry about that, Wei Wuxian! Incoming!

Re: Uh Oh

[toottootmagicflute]

Wei Wuxian's hand flew up and he caught the roll before it hit him. "Hey!" he protested. He stuffed the roll into his mouth, and stuck out two fingers on each hand. He lifted ten wasabi peas using spiritual energy and thrust his fingers towards Shuri, sending all the peas flying in her direction.

Re: Uh Oh

[scoffs_at_tradition]

"Ack!" Shuri said, laughing as she ducked behind her desk and looked for more ammunition. Mayonnaise would be gross and heavy, same with the salad dressing, but the fresh cranberries looked bouncy!

They went much faster and harder in the trebuchet, too!

Re: Uh Oh

[unusual_sith]

Lana watched this, bemused. Then with a flick of her fingers redirected a few in Anakin's way.

What? She was Sith, after all. They probably wouldn't even hit him.

Talk to Stark!

[stykera]

Because that's why he's here!