fandomhigh | Student Assembly, Wednesday, November 25, 2020

"Most of you are ready to be on your four day weekend already," Anakin said, climbing up onto the stage and blinking at the set-up below him: each student had been sat behind a school desk, which had a basket on it covered with a gingham cloth.

Someone had been watching too many baking shows.

"Most of you are ready to be on your four day weekend already," Anakin repeated, "but too bad. Because today you are getting a very instructive discussion led by Stark entitled--" he pulled out his notecard only to have a radio squirrel shriek and race across the stage, climb up Anakin's pant leg and stick a stickie note onto his forehead.

Anakin sighed heavily and pulled it off. There had been a time when his very presence had terrified entire systems. "Right. Well, instead of what I thought we were doing--The Multiverse and You--we are doing..." he squinted at the note. "I have no idea. Something about holiday food, I think. Stark? You're up, I believe."

He glared at the student body. "And the first one to make a crack about my hair over the weekend gets detention until you graduate."

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"Good idea! That'll get the fire started. We'll still need something to keep it going long enough to cook anything." He eyes the basket itself, but no, there was no need to waste good craftsmanship when no one's life was at stake.

"How about the curtains?" Shuri asked.

Surely setting dust-filled auditorium curtains of dubious age and material on fire will be a good idea!

Wei Wuxian cocked his head at the curtains. "Those might work. Why don't you take one down to see? I'll draw the array."

He turned to Lana. "Are you able to open this?" He held out the can of cranberry sauce.

"I can," Lana agreed. As with Tahani's can, she set it down and carefully sliced through the top of the can, vaporizing the layer of metal and leaving an open, cauterized can with a layer of burnt cranberry goo on top. "There you go," she said, grinning as she handed it back.

She got the shredded wood-paper-whatever from her basket and set it down far away from anything else. "Right. Let's see if this will burn, to start."

She let loose several sparks of lightning into it.

Wei Wuxian mixed half of the cranberry sauce in a bowl with some of his blood and then used the concoction to paint a protective array around the fire. The brush he used was a little different from the ones he was used to, but it worked just fine. The array, which had a faint red glow, left plenty of space for the students to cook over the fire, but any sparks or debris that blew too far out would hit an invisible energy barrier and extinguish.

He grinned and skewered a piece of turkey on a long fork. He held it over the fire and asked, "Does anyone have chili oil?"

Edited 2020-11-25 20:30 (UTC)

Lana watched, intrigued. "Is that some sort of magic? And sorry, no oil of any sort."

"I have salad dressing in my basket," Shuri said, "and mayonnaise. Both would probably be vile on turkey."

"Chili oil is good on everything," Wei Wuxian informed them. His family and friends back home would not agree. "Oh well. Roasting it should give it a good flavor."

"Are there other things we can roast in here?" Lana asked, digging through her basket. "Oh, look, marshmallows! They're a little sweet, but fun to roast."

Everybody loved s'mores.

"Oooh, give me a second," Shuri said, taking apart one of the wobbly chairs and turning it into a giant s'mores roaster--four legs, no waiting!

"Here, now we can cook them all together!"

Wei Wuxian had never had s'mores before, but they were delicious! They cooked up quickly, too, which was handy, because he barely had a chance to take a bite before a loud beeeeep went off and a smooth mechanical voice said, "Fire is not permitted in the assembly hall." There was a moment of silence, but before the students could protest, the sprinkler clicked on.

It was well-aimed. It targeted the fire and the students gathered around it only, although those outside the array may have gotten splashed. Wei Wuxian instinctively bent over his food, keeping it from being soaked.

All in all, it wasn't terrible. A little wetting had never hurt him before. Then he realized these sprinklers didn't just contain water. They also contained glitter.

That wasn't coming out of his hair any time soon.

"Well," Shuri commented. Damply. "I wasn't expecting that."

"Glitter?" Lana was not a happy Sith. "Who puts glitter in a fire-suppression system?"

Fandom, that was who.

Illyana shrieked and instantly teleported to the other side of the room, furiously trying to wring glitter-water out of her hair.

"I hate this place."

Lana wasn't quite that fast, but Force-assisted speed had her over there not long after. "Ugh! I will never get this off."

"At least your hair isn't in a million braids," Shuri sighed. "I'm going to get such an earful from my hairdresser."

Lana grimaced sympathetically. "I don't suppose there's some sort of magical glitter attractor you could invent?"

"Ooooh," Shuri said thoughtfully. "I'll ask Barry about some ideas."

Student Assembly, Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Re: Open those baskets!

Re: Open those baskets!

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Re: Open those baskets!

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Re: Open those baskets!

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