Cookery course

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

One of the advantages of being a planetary engineer is having the ability to design and build on a much smaller scale.

In the few hours since the last of his students left the lifestyle seminar the previous day, Slartibartfast has not been idle. His classrom is much larger, for a start. What was previously just a rectangular room twelve or fifteen feet on a side is now a gateway into a much larger tract of hyperspace, now occupied by a huge kitchen, with yard upon yard of worktop interspersed with electric ovens, gas burners, microwaves, wood stoves, barbecues, steamers, tandoors, griddles ... and, close by the door on the left hand side, a Breville Snack'n'Sandwich toaster and a Joe Foreman grill. Suspended above the benches are shelves groaning with ingredients -- staples like flour and rice, flavoured oils and vinegars, exotic herbs and spices. Beneath the shelves are suspended an impressive array of implements -- pots and pans, chopping boards, graters, peelers, mincers, and a truly astonishing variety and quantity of knives.

Dominating the centre of the room is a giant polished mahogany dining table, surrounded by elegant chairs. In one of these chairs sits Slartibartfast, a piece of bread in his hand, mopping up the last of the olive oil from his plate. He sits back in his chair, pats his stomach, and congratulates himself.

You know, Slarti old chum, given the right equipment you really are a very good cook. It'll be a pleasure passing on your expertise to your fellow sentient beings.

He walks over and deposits his tableware into one of the dishwashers, and sets a machine in motion to provide him with an espresso.

He opens the door and looks out into the hallway. He unveils a notice he made earlier:

Cookery course. Students and teachers welcome. Please bring ingredients suited to your physiology. If your instructor is busy elsewhere in the class please feel free to help each other. Open all lunchtime. 1pm-4pm (eastern time) 10am-1pm (pacific time)

He returns to the machine and picks up his coffee. He leans back on the counter and surveys the room: Pristine, unspoilt, and very well equipped. He takes a sip, and looks forward to the coming three hours.

This is wonderful, Slarti old boy. Perfect. What could possibly go wrong?

Comments

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

Afternoon. doc.

::strolls in casually, a bag of stuff in hand.::

I've got all the makings of birdoc pasties and kippa stew. Can you help me with the basic prep?

::Holds up a readout.::

The directions are right here, but they don't make any sense. What does "fricasse" *he says it fry-case* "until tender" mean anyway?

::reads the readout from the top.::

Cut into bite-size pieces. That I can do.

::pulls boot knife and sets to work on bright green birdoc tubers::

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

I think you mean "fricassee" *pronounced correctly*. Is this a fairly tough meat? We'll want a little fat, and some starch to thicken ... fry and case is quite appropriate -- we're going to fry it, and then we're going to caserole it.

*looks at the technique* I think you may be better working on a chopping-board, rather than cutting into your palm like that...

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

Birdocs are tubers. Kippa are these orange things. Chewie insists they're fruit, because the seeds are inside, but I say anything that ain't sweet ain't fruit.

I always cut like--

um...Is there a bandage around?

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

*tears a strip from the edge of the robe, wraps it round hand*

Right, this is a chopping board, and it goes on a nice firm surface like this.

This is a better knife than the one you've been using.

Wait ... a vegetable, a fruit ... you're not vegetarian, are you?

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

Nah. Just thought it was better to start simple and work my way up to fried sterkl. You sure you want me dropping bird parts into boiling oil?



Hey, it's a good knife: two edges, great balance. I can pin a bug to a wall from halfway across the cantina room.

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

Ah, I wish I had time to tell you how to handle boiling oil safely, but I don't. Maybe next week.

Glad you like the knife. Just be careful about how you handle it, we don't want to have any more unfortunate accidents.

Narrative only

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

With some help from Slarti, lunch is going nicely. The orange kippa slices are simmering in a thick broth. The birdocs have been wrapped neat little pastry balls and popped in a convenient oven.

Han has taken a liking to one of Slarti's spices, an Earth thing called garlic-pepper, and added it to the pasties.

From the oven comes a muffled *whump* as a dozen pasties explode.

Han shrugs. "The kippa's still okay."

As he turns to salvage the oven, he bumps the heat control.

By the time he turns back, the kippa stew has boiled over the stove, and spattered the floor, counter and a few places on the ceiling.

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

*eyes the mess*

Oh dear, ...

*turns the heat off*

I wish I had a cloth. Or a bucket.

*looks*

Or a hose...

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

::looks genuinely abashed::

Sorry, Doc.

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

No problem, we can sort that out later.

*peers into pot* Well, there's still some stuff in here. Are you able to eat rice, or barley? I can show you how to stretch a dish with some filler.

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

I think I've got some mavir in here.
::produces bag of whitish grain from food sack::

I can try your rice or barley. Or we could just slice up the leftover birdocs and toss them in. They're starchy.

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

*looks at the grain*

yes, that looks fine.

*looks at clock*

I'm afraid I have to be elsewhere now. Will you be fine here without me?

*looks at clock again*

*rushes out*

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

[wanders in and begins to fuss with a knife and a sharpener]

[deirdreofamber.livejournal.com]

(OOC: there is a cookery course! Wee! sorry I missed it! Will try to make it on my one day off. :)

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

OOC - It's been left unlocked. I'll be popping in from time to time to see how things are going, but it'll probably stay open until sometime early on Friday. Unless something unfortunate happens in there.

...

No chance of anything unfortunate happening, though. Of course not. That's so unlikely.