Guiding the Powerful Yet Incompetent, Tuesday, Second Period

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"One of you actually already hit upon this week's topic last week," Yennefer said. "Which is just going to make things more difficult for her this week, so, good luck. You see, it seems that the king has realized he needs some more, mm, realistic scenes of heroism and bravery for those tapestries he's planning, plus a good conquest is always good for the coffers, so he's decided to invade the neighboring kingdom of Nilfgaard--backwater peasants, religious extremists, nothing to worry about." Yet.

"Of course, people do tend to die in wars, and wars that you lose tend to be rather costly, and there are credible reports Nilfgaard is building up their military. So for Melitele's sake, talk him out of it."

Comments

Sign In

[tellmehowstuffworks]

Starting to get a headache from this guy.

Re: Sign In

[dauntlessdragoon]

Freya Crescent

Re: Sign In

[grayskollar]

Adora

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[nicedragonsfinishlast]

Julius Heartstriker Quetz

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[gospel_of_oblivion]

Illyana Rasputin

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[mylandmyrules]

Nell Ingram

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[scoffs_at_tradition]

Shuri

Re: Sign In

[unusual_sith]

Lana Beniko

During the Lecture

[tellmehowstuffworks]

War now?

Re: During the Lecture

[unusual_sith]

Lana sighed. It had seemed like such a good idea last week...

Convince the King

[tellmehowstuffworks]

Good luck, especially to Lana.

Re: Convince the King

[grayskollar]

The tension Adora had been carrying since Rosa's class snapped and she drew herself to her full height, looking the king in the eye. "No."

Re: Convince the King

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"No? What do you mean, no? You don't tell me what to do! I tell people what to do!"

"Might want to gentle that down a little bit," Yennefer said. She sympathized entirely, but still, come on, Adora.

Re: Convince the King

[grayskollar]

Sure Adora could do that, or she could hold her hand out to the side, summoning the sword into it as she wordlessly turned into She-Ra. Guess which she chose today.

"No," she repeated flatly, looking down at king. "Reinforce the border garrisons to protect the people in case they attack us, but we are not attacking them."

Re: Convince the King

[tellmehowstuffworks]

She just really wasn't getting it, was she? "Right," Yennefer said, ignoring the hologram king who was calling for the guards. "You've just been fired and are probably being thrown in the dungeon for pulling a weapon on your liege. Would you like to try this again from the top, this time with more persuasion?"

Re: Convince the King

[nicedragonsfinishlast]

"Excellent idea, Majesty," Julius said quickly. "There's a whole generation of younger nobles looking to win the hearts and the minds of the populace! This war is just the ticket." He grinned, yeah it looked more like a rictus, but he figured the king wouldn't really notice that. "What an excellent way to make sure that other people receive the attention normally offered to you. Truly magnanimous, sire."

First volley--always go for the ego.

Re: Convince the King

[tellmehowstuffworks]

Damn, he was good.

"Wha--what?" the king stammered. "I--that is--yes, I am truly generous," he said finally, but he looked rattled.

Re: Convince the King

[nicedragonsfinishlast]

Imagine growing up like this only if you pissed Henry off, he ate you. That's what living with Bethesda was like.

"Perhaps one of the tapestries you commission could be of whichever knight or lord acquits themselves most nobly in battle," Julius mused. "You could present it to them at the celebration in their honor after the war is over--it should be a very quick victory, would it not? A tapestry would make a fine thank you for single-handedly winning the war, Majesty. Gratitude from the king and their visage where it could be seen by every visiting dignitary and noble? I can only imagine their rising acclaim."

Imagine it, Henry. You know you don't want to.

Re: Convince the King

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"I--that is--I--" The king looked over his shoulder to Yennefer for backup.

Yennefer looked up from examining her nails to say, "Mm. Yes, a war does tend to polish up the young and heroic types' reputations quite nicely, doesn't it?"

The king, it must be noted, was neither young nor heroic. Delusional, maybe.

Re: Convince the King

[nicedragonsfinishlast]

Julius looked a little pained. "...The only thing, Majesty--and I hate to even bring it up, with as generous a plan as you have going on here..."

He trailed off. Shook his head.

"Is this really the best time to go to war? Isn't the harvest soon? Perhaps another time would be better and we can once again discuss the potential glories of battle then."

Re: Convince the King

[tellmehowstuffworks]

The king puffed up with relief. "Yes, of course! The harvest!"

"And then winter will be coming on," Yennefer supplied.

"Can't fight a war in winter! Everyone knows that!" Except Napoleon, but Yennefer had never heard of him. "Yes, we will...shelve this business...until a more...prudent time."

"Very wise, Your Majesty," Yennefer agreed, with a smile for Julian, who was clearly a natural.

Re: Convince the King

[nicedragonsfinishlast]

"Again, Majesty, your concern for your subjects is inspiring," he said, trying very hard not to sound wry, though Yennefer could probably tell.

He ducked his head at her smile, though, clearly pleased.

Re: Convince the King

[gospel_of_oblivion]

Illyana was seriously considering if 'regicide' was possible in this class, given the digital nature of their 'king.'

"Of course, you'll want to meet with the Royal Treasurer to go over financing the new weapons and armor, and your tacticians, and military recruiters and oh! And train the new troops yourself, so you know that they accurately reflect your skill," she managed with a straight face. She had paid attention when people talking about meetings and things had turned him off.

"Oh, and logistical meetings on feeding the troops, since we haven't had the harvest yet, I'll schedule that in there too for you, and hiring new map-makers so people know where they're going... do you have spies? You'll need to talk to your spies. I'll clear your schedule of hunts and balls so you can get a head start on the planning, since this is so important to you personally, and you only want the best."

She wanted to slice his head off with her Soul Staff. Was that an option?

Re: Convince the King

[tellmehowstuffworks]

Well, Adora had pulled a sword, so Illyana wasn't the only one in that boat...

The king was almost visibly deflating as Illyana kept talking. "I...ah...that is...couldn't someone else do all of that?" Yennefer made a 'keep going' hand gesture to Illyana, an approving look on her face.

Re: Convince the King

[gospel_of_oblivion]

"Possibly, but your majesty would need to hire those someones, so we'll need to put out a notice to find people of quality, and then some of test to make sure you know who you want to choose, and then it wouldn't really be your victory for the tapestries, and I know how important that is to you."

Look, if she wasn't allowed to actually hit him, she wasn't above bruising his ego with a thousand tiny paper-cuts.

"You can, of course, get started with the mapmakers and the spies now, while you consider the recruitment process. Or perhaps you'd like to speak with your agricultural advisors about the upcoming harvest? It's possible we might need to change next year's planting plans to accommodate for food shortages, for the size of the army you'd need for that invasion.
Such a shame that court food will be so dull for the next few years, I'll miss the feasts."

Re: Convince the King

[mylandmyrules]

"Oh boy," Nell said, looking worried. "I grew up with people that could be called religious fanatics and, oh boy... well, have you ever seen them fight? They cheat! And they hate anyone in power - even someone as wonderful as you, sir."

She clucked and shook her head. "They'll do and say anything to make you look bad if they think you have them in your sites. I hate to even imagine the lies they'll be telling your people about you."

Re: Convince the King

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"Which is why we must conquer them and show them the error of their ways!" the king declared enthusiastically, banging one fist on the arm of his throne.

"You had a fifty-fifty chance there," Yennefer told Nell apologetically.

Re: Convince the King

[scoffs_at_tradition]

"This is an absolutely wonderful idea," Shuri said, "but not a fair fight, and it's so difficult to make properly heroic tapestries when we're so obviously dominant, right?"

Re: Convince the King

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"I--er, what?" the king asked. Congratulations, Shuri, you have successfully confused the king! "No, my tapestries will be...magnificent, and huge, just the greatest tapestries!" Really bigly, if you will.

Re: Convince the King

[scoffs_at_tradition]

Super bigly!

"But our enemies will have fled so far and so quickly that they wouldn't even be in the scenes," Shuri fretted.

Re: Convince the King

[unusual_sith]

"Nilfgaard?" Lana pretended to think about it, then hummed and narrowed her eyes. "They've been increasing their military lately, and I've been looking into it. After all, it's not something they'd have the resources for on their own. I hesitate to suggest it, your majesty, but rumors suggest one or more of your nobles may be funding them. Nothing more than rumors at the moment of course, but we'd best find out before making a move. Otherwise, you might be fighting a war on multiple fronts."

Her entire kingdom was going to end up in flames before this class was over.

Talk to Yennefer

[tellmehowstuffworks]

She's here.

OOC

[tellmehowstuffworks]

La.