fandomhigh | Badass Bitch Survival Guide; Tuesday, First Period [09/01].

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Badass Bitch Survival Guide; Tuesday, First Period [09/01].

The fact that Rosa actually had favorite lessons for BABSG (not to mention an acronym) was a detail that she didn't really care to dwell on too much, but that wouldn't negate the fact that the first lesson of BABSG was definitely up there on the list. Mostly because the effort to amusement ratio was promising: she barely had to do anything for it, but the students very rarely disappointed.

So they'd get into the classroom and find some seats, while Rosa just sat at the desk up front with her feet up, idly watching them as they filed in, generally counting (as if she'd paid attention to exactly how many students she had this semester), quirking a brow at the more familiar faces, and checking her watch. On the board behind her were a few names:

EMILY GOLDFINCH
SONIA RAMIREZ
DIANA VALLES
MARCIE BEAUCHAMP

Then she checked her watch again, sighed, and launched into the class from her nice comfortable spot at the desk. "Alright," she said, "let's get started. Badass Bitch Survival Guide. Where I'm going to do my best to teach you guys how to be more badass in your every day life. Not a bad way to spend a Tuesday morning. And it's the first week, so, usually, that means introductions, especially when there's some new faces, but here's the thing. I don't really care who you are. I'm not really that interested in getting to know any of you. I probably won't even remember your names. So we're not even going to bother. We are going to bother with getting to know someone you aren't today."

She gestured at the names on the board.

"These are some different identities I've used in the past, that I'm okay with sharing because, for some reason or another, I can't really use them very effectively around here any more, or various other places around the country. For all intents and purposes, if you look at the paperwork, they're all actual, real people, with ID and history, they'll pass a background check, they've got goals, they've got some real estate and businesses. And they can all be pretty handy in the pursuit of baddassery. A good, solid alternate identity to disappear into can be a useful survival tool to any badass bitch, and not even just for throwing off creeps and people," she gestured vaguely toward them now, "you just don't want to talk to.

"So today," she continued, "I've giving you five minutes. Come up with a good secret identity or alternate persona. Convince me you're someone you're not. If it's believable, you're free to go. If it's not, keep trying. Simple enough, right? And, let's be honest, none of us really want to be here right now, least of all me, so take a few moments, and when you're ready, come on up, and let's see what you've got."

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"Alright," said Rosa, even though it had only technically been four minutes, not the promised five, "that's time. Someone come up and get this started. Tell me who you are and why I should believe you, and if it doesn't suck, you can go."

You might still be able to go even if it did suck, especially if it really sucked, but that would be just to get rid of you.

So Miles is was drawing a blank until Rosa told them to speak up. So he just stole one of the names of his classmates and keep it close to his actual life.

“Uh. Okay. My name is Fabio Medina and I’m from Brooklyn. My mom is a nurse and my dad is a cop with the PDNY. I just came to this school and I have no clue what’s happening.”

"PDNY?"

Sure, Rosa was pretty sure she got it, but that didn't mean that it didn't just sound wrong and uncomfortable in some deep part of her soul.

"Also," she said, regarding that last part in particular, "these are supposed to be departures from the truth."

She just called 'em like she saw 'em, kid.

“Hey. You don’t know. I could be amazingly chill about this place and have been living here forever,” Miles said trying to make it sound like he knew what he was talking about at the beginning only for it to falter under what was no doubt Rosa’s gaze. “And yeah. It’s PDNY. What else would it be?”

"Oh, sure," said Rosa. "You could be. But are you?"

She let that hang there for a moment before adding, "NYPD. What kind of ass-backwards universe puts the PD first?"

...philosophically, Rosa, almost ALL OF THEM, that's why you quit.

But anyway...she had to admit, if that was actually made up, that was...kind of impressive detail work.

“NYPD?”

Miles made an expression clearly signifying his distaste.

“That just sounds wrong. And yeah, I’m still freaking out here. But isn’t it better to sprinkle some truths in with the lies?”

Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

died8yearsago - 2020-09-01 12:51 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

sparkinyou - 2020-09-01 12:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

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Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

sparkinyou - 2020-09-01 13:51 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

died8yearsago - 2020-09-01 14:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

sparkinyou - 2020-09-01 14:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

died8yearsago - 2020-09-01 14:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

sparkinyou - 2020-09-01 14:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

died8yearsago - 2020-09-01 14:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

sparkinyou - 2020-09-01 15:14 (UTC) - Expand

Adora spent those four minutes panicking and trying to compose a fool-proof fake identity, then panicked again and blurted the first thing that came into her head. "Catra! My name's Catra. Yes, that's who I am. Catra."

This was going to be painful.

This was...definitely shaping up to be an interesting semester so far.

Rosa quirked a brow at 'Catra' over here.

"Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself," she ventured, with a deliberate pause before adding, "...Catra?"

"Well, I'm an amazing fighter, and really good at climbing, and uh, I don't like shoes." Rosa couldn't see Adora's very much booted feet, right? "And I'm incredibly stubborn, which isn't always a good thing, because occasionally I make bad decisions, like really bad ones, you seriously have no idea, and sometimes I can be mean and really hurt people, especially the ones who care about me, but I'm working on that, even if I still have a lot of trouble admitting when I'm wrong and it's so frustrating to be around me when I'm like that.

"But, you know, I'm also capable of being the best friend you could want, especially now that I finally seem to have gotten it into my head that someone having other friends doesn't mean they don't care about me, and it's really cute when my ears twitch, and there's the one spot behind them that I purr then you scratch it, and I'm a really great kisser, and..." she trailed off. "I mean, shoes...they're the worst."

Well, now, wasn't that all very specific and rambling with what seemed to be a small side of gushing? Even Rosa had to maybe rein in a little bit of a smirk at all...that.

"Yeah, right," she said once she was sure 'Catra' was finished. "Shoes, fuck 'em." She gave a jerk of her chin before looking in the general vacinity of where she knew her shoes were. "Don't feel you need to wear them in class next week, Catra, if it makes you feel more comfortable."

Sure, Rosa half-expected any newbie around here might forget a little detail like that by the next week, but she couldnt' help being a little curious if this one would be that dedicated.

She just really missed Catra right now. Even more than she already was.

"Oh, thanks." Oh, Adora was committed to her terrible, terrible lie. She was just lucky she hadn't gotten around to talking about Catra's tail and didn't need to find a way to fake that.

Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/01.

died8yearsago - 2020-09-01 13:39 (UTC) - Expand

Wayne didn't....didn't care too much fer dishonesty, but he realized he'd been a little more open to the idea of it if it managed to get him out of a class he thought was generally just a big waste of his time thanks to Time Management class that summer, which therefor ironically had not actually been a waste of time at all and actually had been a very effective class for its intended purpose.

Imagine that.

Anywhey, Wayne didn't care too much fer dishonesty, but he'd be willing to give this a shot if it meant just getting on out of here and finding some chorin' to keep him busy instead, so when his turn came up, he had something ready to go.

"Name's Bobby Probert," he said. "From Keh-bec. Dad owns a fishery up that way, sent me down here to study the crab business. Grands craaaahb du Maryland, eel deet."

The awful French was almost enough to distract her from that first part. Almost.

"Bobby Probert, the hockey player?"

Come on, now, Wayne, did you really expert her to not know who Bobby Probert was?

Wayne had definitely been banking on Rosa not knowing who that was, so, that was, a-yup, a bit of a misfire on his part. But he figured he could still roll with it.

"Dad was a fan," he offered. "Figgured it was a good way to pay tribute."

Rosa was just going to look at Wayne and shake her head.

"Always keep your audience in mind," she told him, because apparently, she actually was delivering some lessons in all of this like it was just a natural progression of her into her role as....ughhh.

She cocked her head toward the door. "Out of my classroom, Almanac."

"My name's Alexis a Rose, and this exercise isn't really going to work for me because I can capitalize on my name and also too many people already know me?"

Alexis was having as banner day at school.

"Well, I've never heard of you before today," said Rosa, which wasn't even true, because of radio, but how could she not if that was what Alexis was going ot start with. "So why don't you just humor us? And who knows, maybe it'll still come in handy some day."

She was on radio, Rosa. She had a catchphrase.

That she might rework for next time but whatever.

"I'm Claire Daisy, from LA. You may have seen some of my modeling shots." Said with confidence because she had them!

"I," Juillenne straightened a bit, doing her best to look regal (something she'd had rather a lot of practice with lately), "am Queen Daphne, of Centra. I'm here at this school to learn more about kingdoms beyond my own, which will hopefully help me become a more effective ruler."

There was a smattering of truth amongst those lies, yes.

See, now, that was a good start. At least it was for this place.

Rosa's head tilted, speculatively, as she looked Jules over. "Alright, then, your Highness," she said, "why don't you tell us a little about this Centra place."

"A small kingdom," Jules started, wracking her brain for what she knew about the mainland kingdoms and why they bothered interacting with each other instead of just keeping to their own borders. "But we have a robust... lumber trade. Very profitable."

//I'm sorry, I don't understand you,// Illyana said politely in flawless Russian when Rosa pointed at her. //...Can someone translate for me?//

If sticking close to the truth worked for Brooklyn to get out of here, maybe it'd work for her.

Well. It might have been a little on the nose, but Rosa had a hunch who might belong to the Illyana Rasputin name on her roster now.

And grinned faintly over the fact that that was basic enough to cover what Rosa'd learned that a tiny nine-year-old version of her got started just to rub it in a dumb boy's face.

//Introductions//, Rosa responded, her Russian not nearly as flawless, but, again, not bad for something picked up on the stubborn whim of a child randomly on a weekend. //Who you are, where you're from, what you hope to learn in class.//

//Also//, she added, //how you feel about dogs?//

She could use a good pet sitter.

"Ah. Anya Nikolievna," she answered. The first one was close enough to 'Yana that she'd answer to it, and well, she'd remember Nikolievna. //Originally from Russia, I just moved to New York a few months ago.//

//I have been told I have an, ah...'attitude.' I wish to turn this into an advantage. We had a few dogs on the farm? I like them well enough, though they don't always like me.//

Though that was probably them smelling the demonic corruption, to be fair.

It was good to see that at least some of the students already had a pretty good handle on this sort of thing, or at least Rosa could assume as much, because some of that was definitely beyond her spontaniously self-taught level of Russian, but she got most of it. Enough to build at least one more question from, anyway.

//How you like New York?//