fandomhigh | Advanced Bird Haberdashery, Wednesday, period 2

Duke arrived at the classroom today ready for anything. And found nothing more unusual than blackout curtains over the windows and a small flock of hairy-looking, football sized birds gamboling about and building little burrow-like nests under the desks.

"Huh. Guess the moose decided to give me a break, huh?"

One of the birds suddenly catapulted at him across the floor, swiped at his shin with its razor sharp claws, and then went tumbling off back to its nest. Duke breathed hard through his nose, slipped back out through the door, and went to go gather some extra supplies.

Class rules:
1. Do not eat the birds
2. Do not FEED the birds
3. DO NOT GET EATEN BY THE BIRDS
4. Protective gear must be worn at all times in the classroom

"Make sure to grab some shin guards on your way in," Duke told the students. "Pete over there especially is being a little bitch. And, uh, sorry about the lights. Apparently these suckers are nocturnal, so we're working in the dark today."

Whether Pete's attack had been because Duke was tall and loud, the lights were too bright, or Pete was just Like That was anybody's guess.

"So today we've got kiwis. They're small, stupid-looking, and will disembowel your legs if you're not careful. We're going to make them hats worthy of the Kentucky Derby. Or possibly a royal wedding. Because nothing says a classy day out like a nocturnal bird from another hemisphere wearing a comically large, overly embellished hat."

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In the dark.

Prompto Argentum

Ulysses Zane

Shuri

And watch your ankles, these suckers were acting kind of territorial.

And today was a day where Prompto was going to be very glad that he wore nice, solid boots almost all of the time. And, hey, at least the little stabby zoomies were cute? You had to really consider the silver lining to these things.

If you make something tasteful here, you automatically fail. Unless you're Shuri, who has immunity this week due to tasing the terror birds.

Not that failure or immunity actually mean anything at all in this class.

Shuri had brought her taser again and was threatening the kiwi to put on a hat that was, okay, twice the size of the bird.

But it was an amazing hat. "Stay still and wear it!"

He's having a staring contest with Pete. Look, it worked on the terror birds!

"Yo, Mr. C.!"

Just be glad Prompto didn't call you Mr. Bagel, Duke. He was tempted! And he had built up more than enough energy trying to dancing around attacking zoomie birds to still be bouncy by the time he went up to him after class.

"Question for you!"

Duke was going to spend a few moments blinking at being called "Mr." anything by someone who wasn't, like, a judge.

"Prompto," he said. "No, I don't know where the terror birds from last week ended up after class.'

And, compared to his last school, even using an initial was, like, supes cash, so...

"Ohhhhkaaaay," he said, slowly, at least a little of his bounce diminished, "not what I was going to ask, and now I'm kind of terrified to go out at night again, so thanks, but anyway, what I was going to ask was if you would, like, ever sort of...take any requests, or anything. For the class."

The was a small pause.

"Also, do you think maybe it might be a good idea to get sort of tracking devices for the next time you bring in murder birds and then sort of lose them?"

JUST SAYING.

"It's cute how you think I'm making any decisions about this class," Duke said. "I show up every week as surprised as you all are. But sure, we can see about trying a request sometime. What did you have in mind?"

Prompto had, until that moment, had the utmost faith in his teacher, and did not know what he now felt with the knowledge that these murder birds were being beset upon them by someone as clueless as they were.

Ugh. Ingorance was bliss, man. Bliss.

"Well," he ventured, although now he was thinking maybe he and Sabine should just get together and do it on their own, but there was just so much appeal in doing it for class, "and I know they're not birds, but, maybe we could, like, do birds and puppies? Buuuut Sabine and I," he sort of just latched onto throwing Sabine in there for credibility, "were wondering if we could maybe do a special class where we make football helmets for puppies."

A pause.

"And birds. Probably. Because it's the class and all. But basically, I wanna make some football helmets. It's for a thing. It's for," and here he dropped his voice into his best sports announcer grumble, "FANDOM PUPPY BOWL II: BACK FOR MORE PUPPIES!"

Then he threw in the wild droning sound of a crowl clearly gone wild.

And then wondered, ohgods, why did I do that??

Duke was just going to sit here continuing to chin-hand at that remarkable display of adorkability.

"Tell you what: so long as the puppies can obey the class rules," such as not getting eaten, "I am all for them coming to visit class with you so you two can make them football helmets."

"Oh, yeah," Prompto gushed with conviction, "totally! They're all really good boys and they'll not cause any trouble. If anything, I know I can get Sidon to help be puppy wrangler if need be, he's really good at keeping them under control."

Man, and now he was hoping for something really cute next week in the bird category because that would be so great. He wasn't banking on it being anything cute, because apparently the birds of this planet were fucking nutso, but, still. A guy could dream.

Advanced Bird Haberdashery, Wednesday, period 2

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Listen to the lecture

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Kiwis and Derby hats!

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Talk to Duke

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OOC