Duke Crocker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
betterthanaplan) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2020-01-22 12:17 am
betterthanaplan) wrote in fandomhigh2020-01-22 12:17 am
Entry tags:
Advanced Bird Haberdashery, Wednesday, period 2
Duke, god love him, had honestly thought he might be able to come in and have the class do something other than bird hats, today. Maybe some bird themed yoga poses. Or read a story about a bird! He really ought to have known better.
The whole classroom was full of turkeys. Very unhappy, very aggressive turkeys.
After several moments of fending one of the largest turkeys off with a chair while — again — madly googling on his phone, Duke added a new rule to the class list:
Class rules:
1. Do not eat the birds
2. Do not FEED the birds
"Yeah, so, apparently feeding them can make them more aggressive," Duke said, trying for casual even as he was slowly chased around the front of the room by a 30 pound, belligerent bird. "So if you brought sausages to try to win these guys over . . . sorry?"
The turkey gobbled angrily at him and went after his shoes.
"So we're doing turkeys today!" Duke dropped the chair and scrambled up onto his desk. "They are large and aggressive." He glared at the turkeys. "And taste really good with cranberry sauce!"
The turkeys were undaunted.
"Also, the internet is really into the fact that apparently one of this country's founding fathers thought these guys should be our national bird." One of the turkeys at the back of the room took flight and swooped at him. "And you know what? I'm gonna give it to him. Good ol' Benny Franklin had something going there." He waved at the swooping bird and scowled. "For fucksake, stop it!"
The turkeys, startled by his volume, backed off and/or landed and started scratching at the tile and pecking around, looking for snacks. Duke sat down — still on top of his desk — and looked around for the hat instructions du jour.
"And we're apparently making them . . ." He picked up the paper and looked entirely put upon. "Fezes." He eyed the turkeys. "So . . . good luck with that."
The whole classroom was full of turkeys. Very unhappy, very aggressive turkeys.
After several moments of fending one of the largest turkeys off with a chair while — again — madly googling on his phone, Duke added a new rule to the class list:
1. Do not eat the birds
2. Do not FEED the birds
"Yeah, so, apparently feeding them can make them more aggressive," Duke said, trying for casual even as he was slowly chased around the front of the room by a 30 pound, belligerent bird. "So if you brought sausages to try to win these guys over . . . sorry?"
The turkey gobbled angrily at him and went after his shoes.
"So we're doing turkeys today!" Duke dropped the chair and scrambled up onto his desk. "They are large and aggressive." He glared at the turkeys. "And taste really good with cranberry sauce!"
The turkeys were undaunted.
"Also, the internet is really into the fact that apparently one of this country's founding fathers thought these guys should be our national bird." One of the turkeys at the back of the room took flight and swooped at him. "And you know what? I'm gonna give it to him. Good ol' Benny Franklin had something going there." He waved at the swooping bird and scowled. "For fucksake, stop it!"
The turkeys, startled by his volume, backed off and/or landed and started scratching at the tile and pecking around, looking for snacks. Duke sat down — still on top of his desk — and looked around for the hat instructions du jour.
"And we're apparently making them . . ." He picked up the paper and looked entirely put upon. "Fezes." He eyed the turkeys. "So . . . good luck with that."
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