fandomhigh | Sex Education, Wednesday, January 8, 2020

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Sex Education, Wednesday, January 8, 2020

"I had an entire other class planned for today," Anakin announced as he stomped into the classroom still smelling like volcano even after many, many showers, "but recent events have changed my focus."

He wrote "CHOOSING SEXUAL PARTNERS FOR MUTUAL PLEASURE" in huge letters on the whiteboard in the front of the classroom, and glared at it, then at the students. "Or 'why we don't try to seduce goat demons who have kidnapped you.'"

That was a little judgmental, Anakin.

He stared at his board some more, then added "ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT" underneath it.

So this should be a fun class for everyone.

"Right. Let's get started."

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Already regretting everything.

Or hide in your seat and wonder what on Earth happened to the volcano people.

Is attempting to seduce your way out of a kidnapping sound tactics and Anakin's just no fun? Is he accidentally kink-shaming people who find Krampus super hot? What sorts of characteristics are you looking for in a sexual partner?

Who will have all kinds of informative pamphlets, God help you.

Don't think "Team Tap That Ass" isn't part of every BDE now. Because it super is.

It's called TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM.

Ulysses Zane

The unthinkable happened:

Ulysses actally put his hand up in class. "So, uh. I demonstrably already know not to, um, seduce goat demons," he said. "So can I skip this one?"

Because he just really wanted to get back to sleeping in his comfy bed, thanks. Holding classes the day after they'd been freed from a volcano was just madness, if you asked him.

Janet Kim

Janet may have looked around to see other people's reactions.

"This is the first class?" she hissed. Maybe to herself, maybe to someone else, it just needed to be stated.

"Just... what?"

Help.

Rey wasn't sure Anakin would be here today, but she also wasn't surprised at all that he was, and she figured she should ~~flood you with pings~~ check in, knocking at the door after class.

Grog Strongjaw

Grog rarely understood what was happening on a good day, so he was just sort of staring in confusion at all of this. "Demons like, suck your souls out and do bad things. Seducing them sounds... not good?"

"You can absolutely skip this one," Anakin said.

"Which part?" Anakin asked.

"And you're already smarter than five people I've met," Anakin said with a dry smile.

Anakin looked up with a tiny smile. "Rey."

"Hi," she said, smiling back. "I wanted to check in, see how you were doing."

Ulysses's eyebrows bounced up. "Really?" he asked. Look, you never knew with this school, but he was already standing up. "Well. See you next week."

"All of it," Janet said. "You can pick literally any word you've said to start. Goat demon?"

Apparently you were starting there.

"Well, I'm not dangling over a volcanic pit today, so that's better," Anakin said.

"The thing that kidnapped all of the new people, me, and a handful of others," Anakin explained. "Apparently goes by Krampus."

"Eat something that's not stale cookies, take a nap, and I'll see you next Wednesday," Anakin said.

"That is a bright side," Rey agreed. "And you made it to class."

"That was pure stubbornness and about eight cups of coffee," Anakin admitted.

This was apparently common!

""Do you need anything?" Rey asked.

Not not have screaming nightmare flashbacks to Mustafar, but that wasn't going to be something he'd just throw out there.

"Sparring this week?" he asked. "It helps turn my brain off."

"Of course. And the warehouse is all yours if you need a break, too."

It was full of distractions!

Theron Shan

"Run through your obstacle course a few times," Anakin said.

"I could reprogram the remotes," she ~~threatened~~ offered.

On the one hand, Theron conisdered flirting a completely valid tactic, on the other..."Uh, what?"

Anakin's eyes lit up. "That would be good."

Nell Ingram

Nell had no idea how on earth she had ended up in this class. Choosing sexual partners?

Oh dear. This was going to be bad.

"This is all just wrong," Nell said, looking vaguely or maybe more than vaguely, horrified. "How do people even discuss this or even think about these things?"

"Okay. I'll do that later. Be prepared."

If she didn't know how to do that already, she'd figure it out quick.

Anakin smirked. "I noticed you figured out how to turn the safety off of your lightsaber. I don't think the remotes will be much of a challenge."

"I did say I would," she said, a little sheepishly.

"I wouldn't be a very good teacher for you if you weren't a bit of a rule-breaker," Anakin said. "It's fine."

"That's good to know," Rey said, like she wasn't generally good unless she had a reason to do something incredibly dumb. "And you've got people at home, right?"

Anakin nodded. "My wife and kids, yes. They're...used to this sort of thing."

Anakin had kept it very, very vague.

"Okay," she said, not adding good, because... "And if there's anything else you need, I'm not really doing much."

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Sex Education, Wednesday, January 8, 2020

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