fandomhigh | Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Entry tags:

law and order

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

"Good morning, students-- including ones I don't recognize..."

Anyone who'd been hoping to see their teacher with curves would have to go home disappointed. Lucifer was an angel; he looked however he felt at any point in time, and right now, he felt like a ~~mopey, still-depressed~~ Lucifer.

"Before we head on to interrogate some suspects and witnesses from the rickshaw case, I'd like you all to get some practice on interrogation technique," he said. He clapped his hands. "Half of you are criminals. You may take your crimes from the crime jar."

He gestured, helpfully, to the crime jar.

"The other half of you must interrogate the other person and attempt to determine what crime has been committed based only on the evidence mentioned on the back of the crime note."

He clapped his hands. "Go on. Torture each other into giving up the goods."

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"If you can't tell the difference between confusion and torture, I've really lost my touch," Lana said, smiling wryly. "No, I'm trying to figure out what sort of crime it is, so I know how seriously I should take it. I don't think we've got this sort of thing back home. Not that people don't give gifts to get into or out of things, but what makes it a crime?"

"Wait, hang on, pretty sure you're not allowed to torture me."

"Why not?" Lana asked. "The instructor said to. Although if you talk to me voluntarily, we can avoid that."

"Interrogate," Tip said. "He said to interrogate, not torture."

"He said to torture you to 'give up the goods'," Lana said. "I remember, because I was surprised; we haven't done that at this school yet. Although the only actual goods here are the ones promised to the dean, and I suspect those are long gone."

And she still didn't get why that was a crime.

"I'm pretty sure that was hyperbole," Tip said.

Though . . . they were being taught by the devil.

"You think so?" Lana asked. "I'll admit, I was thinking Fandom didn't do that sort of thing, but you never know."

"I've been here for three years," Tip said. "Trust me, Fandom doesn't do that sort of thing. Especially not for class."

"Why especially class?" Lana asked. "I learned torturing at the Sith Academy. It was required learning."

"It's against the Geneva Convention," Tip said. "A bunch of Earth governments got together awhile back and said 'yeah, no, torture is terrible and doesn't actually get useful results, let's all agree not to do it'. And this school's an Earth school, mostly, so. . . ."

Lana frowned. "What do you mean, it doesn't get...oh. No Force. I suppose if you can't tell if somebody's lying, it's potentially worse than useless. That makes sense." She nodded. "Do you think this instructor knows that?"

"About the Geneva Convention? Or about torture only really getting people to tell you what they think you want to hear?"

Lana thought about it. "Both, really."

"Probably? He seems pretty Earth savvy. Hence hyperbole."

"He seemed serious, and he doesn't seem to like us much," Lana pointed out.

“I wouldn’t say he hates us either,” Tip said. “He seems more . . . indifferent.”

"Not hate, no," Lana agreed. "I've had instructors that hated us." Weirdly, not the torturer. "This is different. But still..." She shrugged. "Never mind. I'm glad I don't have to torture you, anyway. You seem nice. And this 'crime' is stupid. If you want to give the dean presents in order to get into a better school, why not?"

"I mean," Tip said. "Because it reinforces class stratifications and cultural oppression."

Lana thought about it. "But is that a crime?"

"Maybe?" Tip suddenly wasn't sure. "I'm pretty sure it falls under 'fraud'. But, like, pretty much anyone who actually does it isn't going to get arrested for it or anything. They're all middle aged white ladies. So kind of untouchable."

"Because the upper classes don't care about their own attempting to move upward as much as they care about the lower classes trying the same," Lana noted. "White men are the really untouchable ones, I thought?" she asked.

“They are. But white women aren’t far behind. Especially if they’re doing it to help a white boy.”

"Right. Well, if it's okay for them, I don't see why it shouldn't be okay for you. Class boundaries are stupid. Don't tell anyone I said that."

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Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

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