fandomhigh | The Ever-Changing Facets of Reality, Monday, Second Period

Upon entering the Danger Shop, the students would find themselves in the middle of a cornfield. "Today we're going on...The Amazing Race! So pick your partners--I've already got mine," Vanessa said, looping her arm through Wade's elbow, "--and get ready to explore our exotic destination: Dubuque, Iowa*!"

Wait, what?

"We couldn't afford anything better because we spent all the budget on... nothing," Wade said. "There was no budget. This was a test. You all failed it."

"Also, we're doing this here in the Danger Shop instead of actually going to Iowa because A) who wants to actually go to Iowa? and B) Travelocity costs money. So enjoy your time in Iowa, and hurry to complete your tasks before you're last, and get eliminated and left in Dubuque." A beat. "Just kidding!"

"I'm not. I'll abandon your ass here," Wade added. "I'll find a way. So don't fuck this one up."

He waited a moment, looking around. "Oh, we didn't do production assistants this time. So, I guess I need to repeat that we're not legally allowed to do that. Which is bullshit. But at least we can swear."

"Also we can't actually leave you because this is a hologram." Vanessa sounded disappointed by this. "And you know what? Scratch that thing I said before about partners. You're doing this solo. Yeah, that's right, I'm changing the fake rules."

"Best Midwesterner wins!"

Nothing. They won nothing.

*Any resemblance to the real Dubuque, Iowa, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Illyana thought about it for a second.

"Technically we only need to find the scarecrow at the end to get a clue or whatever, but it's probably cursed," she decided. "That's what I'd do, to teach a lesson about the dangers of Iowa or whatever."

No one should go to Iowa. Ever.

She tossed her backpack on the ground, taking a seat where she could see all their classmates ~~and any NPCs~~ enter the maze. "I vote we rate them on their likelyhood of surviving a horror movie."

Edited 2019-09-30 21:27 (UTC)

Ulysses was already plopping himself down next to her, even as he said, "Ooh, yesss." This was much more his speed than the maze. Especially the part where he didn't have to move. "Though I mean, spoiler alert, unless there's a good Final Girl situation, they're all dead."

Guys, this was why you were coming in last today.

Better coming in last than attacked by possessed scarecrows or whatever!

Look, Illyana wasn't up on pop-culture, but she LOVED watching late night horror movies. They were hilarious, and she knew her tropes at this point.

"I mean, I'd bet on Shuri surviving," Illyana mused. "If only 'cause she seems to know what the teachers are babbling about more than everyone else does."

"Okay, fair point," Ulysses agreed, nodding before running his hand back through his hair. He tended to do that when he was thinking. "Also, Sidon? That guy's, like, effervescent. I feel like he'd stay alive really long in the game, just so it'd hurt more when they finally got him."

A beat.

"Also he's so fucking tall they'd have to work extra hard to surprise him in the maze." Ulysses gestured into the distance. "I mean, he's in there and I can literally see him right now."

"Maybe they're mouse-sized zombie-cultists," Illyana said, thinking out loud. "One bite on his ankle, and he turns on everyone else at a dramatically important moment."

Ulysses eyed her like he was weighing the merits of that suggestion very seriously. Never let it be said he couldn't get wholeheartedly into the dumbest or most ridiculous of thought exercises.

"That's a twist," he decided. "I like it." A beat. "Also makes me even more glad to be out here instead of the maze because, fuck, anything could be hidden in there."

The Ever-Changing Facets of Reality, Monday, Second Period

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